Food free birthdays -- be my devil\'s advocate

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 12:40am
mommyofmatt's picture
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Joined: 03/12/2004 - 09:00

I would love for ds' school to eliminate treats for birthday parties, and celebrate in another way not involving food. I would be ok with a limited number of classroom parties a year, since I could participate and manage ds if need be.

Now, my take on food these days is we need food to eat, grow, live. I bake treats for the kids, they have some candy. But I'm so anti-treat in schools that I know I have tunnel vision regarding it.

We've discussed the cupcake queens already...

My question is this: If your school would guarantee that any celebratory food would be peanut free, how would you feel if a mom of a child with MFA(like me) came along and tried to eliminate food from birthday celebrations?

For background, other kids can still bring any non-peanut items for snack and lunch, I'm not asking for restrictions on ds' other allergens, just specific seating arrangements that won't affect what other kids are eating.

I'd like your honest opinions, and if you have a minute to play devil's advocate for me, I'd appreciate it. I'm nervous making this request as I anticipate alot of resistance. Thanks. Meg

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 12:51am
notnutty's picture
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Joined: 03/15/2004 - 09:00

Can't help you with devil's advocate....our school already has a food-free birthday celebrations in place. Last year was our first year at this school because of a move, but so far it *seems* to be enforced.
The kids get stickers, bouncy balls, temp. tattoos, coloring books, pencils, pens, notebooks, etc...
We did have holiday celebrations that had food, but it was pretty low-key and everything was approved by me and the other mom in the class with a son with a milk allergy.
Now the lunchroom....a whole different story [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img].

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 1:03am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by mommyofmatt:
[b]My question is this: If your school would guarantee that any celebratory food would be peanut free, [/b]
They do ('tree-nut free' too).
Quote:Originally posted by mommyofmatt:
how would you feel if a mom of a child with MFA (like me) came along and tried to eliminate food from birthday celebrations?[/B]
I'd be thrilled.
I know a mom in our SD who has a daughter with celiacs. This is exactly what she is trying to do. I sent her flowers with a thank-you card. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 1:49am
Jana R's picture
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Joined: 02/09/1999 - 09:00

Have you seen this?
[url="http://www.allergymoms.com/modules/wordpress/index.php?p=244"]http://www.allergymoms.com/modules/wordpress/index.php?p=244[/url]
I think a good approach would be the wellness issue for all students - certainly all parents want [i]their[/i] child to be healthy. Rather than blame the allergy kid and their family for removing precious cupcakes, it becomes a health issue for the entire student body.
------------------
Jana
[url="http://www.seattlefoodallergy.org"]www.seattlefoodallergy.org[/url]

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 1:56am
Greenlady's picture
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Joined: 06/30/2004 - 09:00

Personally, I'd love it if my school went to food-free celebrations, evening if FA weren't involved. I think in general there is too much food in the classrooms now and it would be much healthier to simple go food-free.
And if there was a MFA child in my son's class, I would be doubly happy to help out, since I know what it feels like to rely on others to project my child.
However, I'm afraid, at least at my school, my reaction would be in the minority. There is a strong resistence to the school "interferring" in a parental role, and eliminating treats is likely to fall under that

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 2:37am
Chicago's picture
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Joined: 04/21/2001 - 09:00

The "devils arguement" that I have run into is the concept of the birthday kids getting a chance to play "hostess". It goes back to thoughts about teaching manners / hospitality / sharing and all.
Obviously, I think that is silly as learning to be considerate of others is a valuable lesson too.
One good idea I have read here is replacing the treat with the child sharing something else, such as giving a gift to the classroom (game for free time, new copy of a favorite book, etc...) or having a parent read a story or do another activity. That way they are still hosting and sharing, but w/o food.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 2:41am
ajas_folks's picture
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Joined: 04/28/2000 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Greenlady:
[b]
However, I'm afraid, at least at my school, my reaction would be in the minority. There is a strong resistence to the school "interferring" in a parental role, and eliminating treats is likely to fall under that[/b]
I have a HUGE problem with schools using the "we don't wish to interfere in parental role" argument WRT birthday celebrations, yet the school IS fully accountable (may even acknowledge this fact openly, huh?) in the "parental role" of keeping the children healthy, safe, and alive to the end of the school day.
Alrighty then!
~Eliz, yes I am really aggravated.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 3:07am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Yes, I think the only arguments you are likely to get are about these issues:
1. "Why punish ALL the kids because of the __________ one(s)." (Fill in the blank with 'obese' or 'diabetic' or 'food allergic' there... I've seen them all.
[i]I think that the way to counter this is to couch the idea in terms of creating an EXCITING and NOVEL way of celebrating birthdays.... instead of 'restrictions' or 'eliminating.'[/i]
2. "It's my right to do whatever I want for MY kids."
[i]Well, actually-- no, it isn't. There are rules at school, and YOU AND YOUR CHILD have to follow them. The rules about lots of things aren't about YOUR PERFECT KID, now are they??? Because those perfect angels don't really NEED all those rules to be reasonbly civilized and behaved, I'm sure..... [/i]
3. Tra-dition!
[i]This is the hardest one to counter, I think.... because schools and teachers can get behind this one, too..... [/i]

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 3:16am
PinkPoodle's picture
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Joined: 06/12/2007 - 09:00

Sorry...no chance I can be the devil's advocate, either. Perhaps visit the Cupcake Queen website and see the rationale [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
BUT take my opinion for what it is worth: I'M A KILLJOY [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
My oldest child doesn't have allergies and it still bothers me when he comes home and says he had some sort of treat. I just don't see the point. Show off your great treats at the home party---why do you need to parade them into the school?! There are also parents I know who have cookies or flowers delivered to their child (not to share with the class) to make their child feel 'special' on their birthday. Never mind the resentment that kid faces when a huge cookie bouquet arrives to the classroom....
I don't get that type of 'special treatment'. Why have the flowers/cookies delivered to school? Why not to your house after school (rather than interrupting class, the child having to bring them home, etc..). To me, it is just weird.

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 3:29am
Sarahb's picture
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Joined: 01/22/2007 - 09:00

In regards to the tradition arguement...
when did this tradition start?
This was discussed at length on another board - having nothing to do with FA and the large majority of posters didn't have cupcakes brought in when they were kids. So did this start in the 80's? Anyway...I don't think it's a long standing tradition. If faced with this arguement I would ask when this tradition started? Perhaps around the time we all started getting fat?

Posted on: Wed, 08/22/2007 - 4:25am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Quote:Originally posted by mommyofmatt:
[b]My question is this: If your school would guarantee that any celebratory food would be peanut free, how would you feel if a mom of a child with MFA(like me) came along and tried to eliminate food from birthday celebrations?
[/b]
I'd think "WOW" all that much more opportunity to sell junk and candy under the guise of "fundraisers" at lunch....

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