Female allergists

pKristene,/p
pI am PA and I go to a female allergist. I never had a seroius reaction until 3-4 years ago, so it really changed my life. The first allergist I saw was a man and he scared me so much that I did not want to go back to him. I understand that he HAD to make it very clear how serious the allergy is, but I did not fee comfortable with him. The second allergist I went to was another man. He was horrible, he was rude and extremely insensitive. When I told him I was PA he said, "I won't lie to you, peanut allergies are a *@#Y@!" (if you get my meaning) which was totally unprofessional. I asked him about flying to Europe and the possibility of a reaction inflight and he told me it was like playing craps. Then he told me I can't let the allergy control me and that I should take the trip. I left his office near tears and had to sit outside of my office building for a good 15 minutes before I was composed enough to go back to work. I now see a female allergist who is absolutely wonderful. (Her sister-in-law is pa) I was in tears after meeting this allergist, but because I finally found someone who seemed to care and who understood how emotional and hard this allergy can be to deal with./p
pI don't think it is really a matter of male or female, but personality. The first allergist I went to was really nice, I just didn't feel comfortable with him. My sister-in-law really likes him...it all boils down to what makes you feel the most comfortable./p

pBy chance, all of my son's doctors (family physician, pediatrician, allergist) are female and the emergency room doctors he has seen have also been women. I don't think it is gender that makes a difference though, I think that it is the type of medical training and the era that they trained in that makes the difference in listening skills. By the way, when my son was hospitalized briefly at age 3 and encountered a group of medical students who were touring on rounds with his pediatrician, he looked at the one lone male student doctor, and then said to the pediatrician "They let guys be doctors too?"/p

pOur son's allergist is a woman and I must say I am not happy with her at all. I feel like we left the office knowing no more than when we went in. The nurse called to give us the RAST results and said he was a 2 etc. I asked if that determines how he may react. The nurse indicated that the Dr. indicated that it is "just a moderate" allergy and that we should just continue on a no peanut diet (no kidding???) I have had to ask for specific instructions to be given to me for the daycare. I have had to ask for information. Today I was almost in tears after speaking to the office. I just want to know the best way to keep our son as safe as possible and what to do if a mistake is made.br /
I am looking for a new allergist. I dont care if it is a s/he. I just want someone that will be partners in caring for our child./p

pI don't think the fact that a doctor is male or female really matters. My son who is PA and 5 years old sees both a male allergist and a male family physician and if I felt he wasn't getting the best possible care, I would switch docs in a heartbeat - female or male./p

pWe have female ped group-- the only male dr. left the practive last year. They recommended a male allergist who is wonderful. My daughter is not too sure of him, but I think in part it is because we originally had a male ped who was very lacking in info about allergies and asthma, even though he had a sub specialty in allergies. My daughter has made refrence to him and the location of his practice and my younger daughter refers to him as the doctor that did not know anything--you really have to watch what you say and how you say it./p
pI am not sure how I am going to handle the situation as she gets older. If she continues to be uncomfortable and can identify why she is uncomfortable we will address the situation and if necessary find another allergist. I am comfortable with the way he treats and addresses my daughter and her food allergies and athsma. He is straight forward, but at the same time he does not present more than I can handle at one time./p

pThe first allergist I took my son to was a woman and HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And of course, I had to request the referral./p

pI do not see gender as a screening tool for picking a doctor. I usually go by friends neighbors for a recommendation. A real help is to have a friend in the medic. commun. (i.e. nurse). They know who is good and who to avoid! We went to a terrible woman dermatolist for severe excezma. Instead of admitting her treatment wasn't working, she blamed it all on me because my child wasn't getting better. We switched to a man derm. and she was 90% better after the first treatment. Gender related, no, he was just a better doctor! He had suffered from severe eczema as a child (that's why he became a doctor!). /p
p[This message has been edited by FromTheSouth (edited May 23, 2000).]/p

pI apologize in advance that my post does not quite pertain to female vs male allergists, but we all seem to be in the same boat./p
pFrom what I read on this web site, allergists all seem to have basically the same information: Avoidance is the key to managing food allergies, when to do a skin test and when to do the RAST, etc.br /
I feel like I know just about everything there is to know about pa-research, medications, causes and effects. I go in to see my son's allergist every other month or so because I have new questions all the time. I only get to ask about 3, although the list usually contains at least 50 (he allows me less than five minutes per visit)./p
pAnyway, the question I would like to pose to of all of you, is: Do any of you feel like you've learned just about all there is to learn about your childrens' allergy? Have any of you perhaps gone into therapy to try to manage the stress of having a pa child/children? I'm starting to think that I need a nice long therapy session, because I think that's what I was expecting my son's allergist to do-which isn't realistic. /p
pThanks for your input!/p

pHave you considered asking him if he would prefer you to mail your questions to him? I do this and our doc. e-mails his response. Once I had his e-mail address, I e-mail a question when it comes up. This seldom happens now because I know a lot more about p.a. If you feel your doctor views your questions as an inconvenience for him, you need another doctor. A good allerg. doc. realizes you are trying to protect the life/welfare of your child. This condition is not corrected by a one time office visit. It affects our lives on a daily basis. See the post called "The Perfect Allergist" on this site. My doc. commented that I have a very compulsive personality (need to know everything re. this) and commended me on it. He said you are not only keeping her safe but you are teaching her what she needs to know. Check out the Book section on this site and "The Allergy Report" on [url="http://www.aaaai.org,"]www.aaaai.org,[/url] too. There seems to always be more to learn about food allergies. Therapy? Food allergies certainly causes stress on a family (espec. when it is life-threatening). I have been dealing with this for almost six years and still feel overwhelmed. I can't imagine when she is living on her on and dealing with this by herself. I wish I could afford it! I need to check to see if their is a p.a. support group in our town. This site has been like therapy to me..../p