feeling guilty about PA

Posted on: Thu, 07/15/2004 - 12:27pm
lalow's picture
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Joined: 03/24/2004 - 09:00

Should I feel guilty that my son is PA. I dont. I did eat peanut butter during my pregnancy and while nursing but I tried to minimize it. I knew that there might be some connection according to things I read so I figured I should just not eat as much. I kept him away from peanuts until he got a hold of a nutter butter at 14 months. I was planning on not giving him any until he was 2 like I did with my other son. Should I feel guilty?

------------------
Lalow
James 2yrs NKA
Ben 17 months PA,MA,possible EA, and SA

Posted on: Thu, 07/15/2004 - 1:49pm
momma2boys's picture
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Joined: 03/14/2003 - 09:00

NO, of course not. Is someone making you feel like you should feel guilty all of a sudden?
Obviously none of us would've done anything intentionally to give our children pa. Therefore, none of us have anything to feel guilty about [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] .

Posted on: Thu, 07/15/2004 - 11:32pm
momtomitchell's picture
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Joined: 04/20/2004 - 09:00

Of course not! I don't feel an ounce of guilt. I can't honestly remember but I'm sure I ate PB while PG. and other things that I could have passed on. I don't believe that side of the argument that I could have passed a PB allergy on. I never gave ds PB and wouldn't have until he was at least 4 anyhow. (that was before he tested PA+)
I have the same question, did someone make you feel guilty??

Posted on: Fri, 07/16/2004 - 12:28am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Lalow, I'm adult onset pa.
During my first two pregnancies - I lived on peanuts and pb. Neither of those kids has pa and they are 18 and 21.
If it was a parents *fault* and they *caused* it, then my first two kids would have pa.
So, NO IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Posted on: Fri, 07/16/2004 - 2:41am
tcperrine's picture
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Joined: 03/01/2002 - 09:00

Lalow,
I could be off base here, but I thought this question might have been provoked by my response under your Chik-fil-a post.
Any guilt I feel is my own. I never look at another PA kid and think "Oh that Mom was terrible to expose him to peanuts." It has never even crossed my mind. I have personal feelings of guilt because I, well, I don't know why. I just do.
I had a miscarriage before I had DD. I had guilt from that too. Even though logically and intellectually I understand that at 7 weeks (!) there was NOTHING I could have done to provoke or prevent it.
My miscarriage guilt it gone now (it's been 6 years) maybe my peanut guilt will disappear too, given more time.
Carolyn

Posted on: Fri, 07/16/2004 - 5:17am
lalow's picture
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Joined: 03/24/2004 - 09:00

I started thinking about the guilt question because of Carolyn response but also because I read alot about guilt on this web site. It just started me thinking. I actually feel guilty alot now because I dont feel I can protect him as well as I should.
I too had a miscarriage before I had both my kids and I felt guilty about it for a long time..and I think I still do, even though I know it isnt logical.
------------------
Lalow
James 2yrs NKA
Ben 17 months PA,MA,possible EA, and SA

Posted on: Sat, 07/17/2004 - 11:18am
mattysmom's picture
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Joined: 07/17/2004 - 09:00

I'm brand new to this. Just found out my 2nd son is PA, he's 14 months. I had given him peanut products about 4 or 5 times and he had hives on his arms and legs. I thought his eczema was acting up. The last time he had peanut butter, he had hives on his upper lip. That's when he was tested.
Anyway, I am feeling so incredibly guilty. It is absolutely consuming me. I feel as though I didn't do enough to prevent this. I ate peanuts like crazy while nursing, because I thought someone had to have a predisposition to PA to develop it. I didn't realize that my hayfever/seasonal allergies could cause him to have that predisposition and now I feel incredibly guilty for not researching the topic beforehand.
I'm hoping this guilt will pass with time, but I don't foresee it happening.

Posted on: Sat, 07/17/2004 - 12:58pm
momma2boys's picture
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Joined: 03/14/2003 - 09:00

mattysmom, hi and welcome! Lose the guilt! You did [b]nothing[/b] wrong. Had you known he was reacting you would have stopped giving it to him. You are doing everything you can now to keep him safe. That is all that matters.
Until pediatricians educate more parents about food allergies, this will just continue to happen.
Seriously though, don't feel guilty!

Posted on: Sat, 07/17/2004 - 1:27pm
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b]Until pediatricians educate more parents about food allergies, this will just continue to happen.
[/b]
What will?

Posted on: Sat, 07/17/2004 - 1:53pm
momma2boys's picture
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Joined: 03/14/2003 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] What will?
[/b]
Parents not understanding allergic reactions, precautions, etc. and feeling guilty, as though they did something wrong.
I know my ped. never told me to avoid certain foods until a certain age, or what to watch for when starting new foods for a reaction.
Hell, even after diagnosed, my useless initial allergist didn't even tell me how to use the epi or what symptoms to watch for. Nothing.

Posted on: Sat, 07/17/2004 - 2:43pm
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b] Parents not understanding allergic reactions, precautions, etc. and feeling guilty, as though they did something wrong.
I know my ped. never told me to avoid certain foods until a certain age, or what to watch for when starting new foods for a reaction.
Hell, even after diagnosed, my useless initial allergist didn't even tell me how to use the epi or what symptoms to watch for. Nothing. [/b]
thank you for clarifying...... i was unsure and originally thought you may be referring to some kind of causational relationship re: PA.

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