Family Wedding...Risks??

Posted on: Tue, 02/06/2007 - 6:56am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

My BIL is getting married in June. DD was diagnosed in Nov. 2006 and is now 1yr old. I'm worried about the wedding cake & food...also, what if someone eats "contaminated" food & then touches/kisses DD. What do you think? Too much risk? Leave DD at home? My BIL and future SIL are not sharp enough to be trusted to read labels/question caterer. Any opinions on this?

Mom to 2 Beautiful Girls
Taylor 5 - no allergies
Calista 1 - Peanut Allergy

Posted on: Tue, 02/06/2007 - 7:26am
gvmom's picture
Joined: 08/24/2005 - 09:00

If you actually have someone that you would trust leaving your child with to babysit, and it were me, then I'd leave your DD at home.

Posted on: Tue, 02/06/2007 - 7:52am
luvmyboys's picture
Joined: 05/25/2006 - 09:00

My sister is getting married this summer and my brother got married a couple of years ago. My mom checked with the caterer before signing on that he would serve no peanuts or nuts and allow us to bring our own food or prepare something special for the boys. We will opt for bringing our own food because I can't be sure the caterer will undertand cross contamination and I don't want an emergency at my sister's wedding - KWIM!
My mom went so far as to offer to ask the guests not to eat peanuts/nuts that day in case they kiss the boys! I told here that wouldn't be necessary...we don't have that many relatives anyhow and my immediate family seems to 'get it'. I mean...we're talking probably hours later because who eats peanuts as they are walking into a wedding?

Posted on: Tue, 02/06/2007 - 10:10am
cathlina's picture
Joined: 06/29/2001 - 09:00

Almost every wedding I have been to served mixed nuts.
When my daughter was was peanut free except for...
We were taking pictures in the church and her husband's great grandmother was going to eat peanuts 5' from me..caught it in time...she ate them for her diabetes.
I asked them not to...I did't want to risk a reaction.
I think they were mad because they didn't come to the reception.
I think I would leave your child at home.
It's not worth the anxiety.

Posted on: Tue, 02/06/2007 - 11:10am
krc's picture
Joined: 01/16/2007 - 09:00

My sister got married this summer in a different state. We packed all our own food and researched for safe restaurants around the area. We also made sure there was a refridgerater in our hotel room.
My sister is very good w/ dd's food allergies but had so much to do concerning her wedding! She asked the caterers that everything be nut free but it truly didn't matter. The effort was nice but I do not trust strangers to read food labels the way I have to.
Thank goodness we brought all our own food because I saw a bag of Mike Sells potato chips in the trashcan. I went to the kitchen to speak with the caters: turns out they ran out of the safe chips so they sent one the boys to go buy some more and they mixed the safe w/ the unsafe in baskets on all the tables.
Just goes to show, mistakes happen.
Once again, thank goodness for the "we don't eat anything unless it comes from home" rule.
It was quite stressful going into it and planning all the safe food options for the weekend, making sure we had all the meds, and directions to the nearest hosp (they were married in a slightly remote location) but in the end, we had a great time!!
eta: my sister tried really hard to find a "safe" cake for dd but it was virtually impossible. No one could guarantee that there wouldn't be xcont of ingredients. The one that could was charging an insane amount. So, we took a box of Twinkies!
[This message has been edited by krc (edited February 06, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 02/06/2007 - 9:37pm
momll70's picture
Joined: 09/26/2006 - 09:00

I would leave my child home unless you never leave her side. Other people are so quick to give little ones food as soon as you turn your head. I used to bring snacks and milk or home made shakes for my PA/TNA son when he was little and I would never leave him with another relative. Also stay away from anything fried and stay away from the cakes/cookies (I don't even ask if they are safe I just stay away). Sometimes if I trust the place I tell them about my son's allergies and I order him pasta with sauce and I ask if anything else is cooked in the sauce. It's scary because everyone want to touch and kiss the kids. And I would wipe his hands often too. Good luck and I hope you get to enjoy the wedding.

Posted on: Wed, 02/07/2007 - 1:13am
doofusclo's picture
Joined: 12/03/2006 - 09:00

My daughter is MFA (peanuts, avoiding nuts, eggs, milk, and rice). She is almost 3 years old and has been to 4 weddings. I don't let her eat anything catered. I think catered food, and the people who have been eating things your baby cannot are the big risks. I always bring my daughters food. I also carry wipes and watched her constantly. It worked out fine for us, but if you have a babysitter you really trust you might enjoy the wedding more.

Posted on: Wed, 02/07/2007 - 1:49am
bethc's picture
Joined: 04/18/2005 - 09:00

My sister just got married in December, and my PA DD was a flower girl. It went very smoothly.
My sister didn't serve anything with peanuts or nuts in it. But she didn't feel that the reception hall people or the cake baker would understand enough about food allergies for us to ask them about peanut cross-contamination and then trust them to feed my DD. And we all really didn't want anything bad to happen on the wedding day.
So we picked up Subway for my DD's supper on the way to the reception -- we checked it out in advance, and they didn't make peanut butter cookies there. DD sat by people who'd heard about her allergy, so nobody gave her a hard time about bringing her food along.
My mom baked a regular white layer cake and did a little fancy frosting on it, so DD and another woman with PA and TNA ate that. And my sister had asked me for suggestions on the candy to put in the favor boxes because she didn't even want any tempting candy out on the table that DD couldn't eat. She gave me all the Hershey's Kisses packages to read in advance, to make sure she didn't miss something on the labels. So that was FABULOUS: "Sure, honey, you can have some candy." When does that happen?
At the church itself, my mom provided the food for the wedding party to snack on between the pictures and the ceremony. She had a meat and cheese tray that she put together from packaged products (not deli), crackers that she'd asked me about in advance and had the packages there for me to read at the church, and homemade sugar cookies. She's learned a lot about PA, and she sometimes thinks of cross-contamination risks that I haven't thought of, so I trust her to make food for DD.
So it all went off without a reaction. I had help on the inside, though, obviously. I'm the bride's sister, so I had the bride and the mother of the bride as concerned about preventing a reaction as I was. But that's how things can be orchestrated if they'll plan with you.
By the way, my teensy little evening purse was pretty much filled with PA stuff: Epi-Pen, cell phone -- did I fit the Benadryl in there? I think that stayed in the car. So much for beauty!

Posted on: Wed, 02/07/2007 - 12:55pm
chanda4's picture
Joined: 12/14/2006 - 09:00

this is a comfort zone topic. I,myself would go because I have gone to xmas parties, b-day parties etc... with my kids and we just do what we always do and so far it's been okay. We always bring our own food, or hubby runs and gets something once were there. We keep the kids together, one of us can go off and visit, but one parent is with the kids at all times. I usually just carry my 1yr old, I don't even let her down if it doesn't feel right. I carry our epipen in my hand, so it is readily available and people can see it too. It often sparks the *what is that* question and opens to the door and a quick *lesson*, lol! But see how you feel, everyone has their own level of comfort. Some don't even want to *go there* (which is understandable) so they opt for sitters, or one parent attends or they just don't go. But if you really want to attend, as a family think about all the possible scenerios and just really be prepared. When I am somewhere un familiar, I carry the Epipen in my hand, I don"t want to be searching for my diaper bag(where I keep the meds) in an emergency!!! Anyways, good luck with your decision!!
Chanda(mother of 4)
Sidney-8 (beef and chocolate, grasses, molds, weeds, guinea pig & asthma)
Jake-6 (peanut, all tree nuts, eggs, trees, grasses, weeds, molds, cats, dogs, guinea pig & eczema & asthma)
Carson-3 1/2 (milk, soy, egg, beef and pork, cats, dog, guinea pig)
Savannah-1 (milk and egg)

Posted on: Wed, 02/07/2007 - 11:16pm
notnutty's picture
Joined: 03/15/2004 - 09:00

My sister is getting married on Saturday. My PA son is going, but we are bringing his own food. He is not a big "eater" anyway and most likely will be so excited running around with his cousins that he won't be very hungry, and if he is hungry I have his food packed for him.
If he was much younger (he is 6) I might leave him at home because right now he knows not to eat anything unless I give it to him...that was not always the case.
Also, there will be no nut or nut products served. A reaction is unlikly for my son in this situation. Good luck in making this decision. It is a hard one!

Posted on: Thu, 02/08/2007 - 5:31am
pitterpat's picture
Joined: 02/04/2006 - 09:00

I agree with whoever said this is a comfort zone issue. That said, here's my story...
My brother got married last month. Both dds were flower girls (1 pa, 1tna). Luckily, the bakery owner/baker's daughter is pa/tna/others so I knew I could trust her. She was also pa dd's preschool teacher and therefore I know she cares whether dd has a reaction. It was great to let dd eat cake.
As for the caterer, they prepared special food for dds. Now, I was comfortable with this because the rehearsal dinner/reception were both at a country club where my parents are members. We have worked closely with the chef and staff on many occasions to ensure dds safety. So, dds ate everything and were safe.
I'm not sure how much pn is required for your son to react. I didn't worry about relatives. Since there were no nuts at the reception and no nut foods, I didn't worry about it. Honestly, this doesn't concern me with adults who don't usually eat sloppliy. Unless they are eating nuts at the time, we don't worry -- we have had rxns from sales clerks eating nuts as we checked out!
Ok...I'm rambling now.
GOod luck


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