Dreading Halloween Season...

Posted on: Fri, 10/25/2002 - 10:31pm
robinlp's picture
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Joined: 05/14/2002 - 09:00

Lucky for me, my PA son is not even 2 yet. However, yesterday I went shopping for my Halloween candy. I got "safe" candy and bought tootsie rolls, tootsie pops and dum-dums. However, the aisle was full of other women and they ALL had their carts full of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. I can only imagine all of the Peanut Butter products that we will be throwing away after my kids go trick or treating. Since I don't want any in the house. As my son gets older and is in school, I have decided that I will throw a big Halloween party here each year and I will provide all the food. I just can't imagine being faced w/ all the peanut butter/peanut candy at each house when trick or treating. We had a secret ghost (game) in our neighborhood and they left us a huge bag w/ peanut butter cups in it. Obviously, the person who chose us doesn't know us. At least I hope it was someone that doesn't know. Ok, thanks for letting me vent!!

[This message has been edited by robinlp (edited October 26, 2002).]

Posted on: Sat, 10/26/2002 - 12:47pm
dmbb's picture
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Joined: 10/12/2002 - 09:00

I know how you feel. Last year, my son was 26 months old at Halloween. After trick or treating, I was going through his bag, and ALL of the candy had peanut warnings!!!! As I was exchanging the halloween candy for safe lollipops, he was crying and saying, "Daddy, why is Mommy taking all my candy?"

Posted on: Sat, 10/26/2002 - 2:08pm
KarenH's picture
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Joined: 09/21/2002 - 09:00

Here's something to solve that problem...I keep posting it on the Halloween threads. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
To avoid that problem, put all the unsafe candy in his bucket/bag on the porch, or somewhere hidden. Then the Great Pumpkin (as in my house) or the Halloween witch magically comes along and turns it into (wonder of wonders) toys, books, safe candy, stuffies, whatever your child likes (I also throw in a new toothbrush). We used to do this as a way to get rid of some of the candy from our son's trick or treating (he's not allergic to anything, Mom is). Now he just loves to trade to see what he'll get. This way, they really love to part with their candy!

Posted on: Sat, 10/26/2002 - 10:37pm
robinlp's picture
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Joined: 05/14/2002 - 09:00

Karen...What a great idea! Thanks!

Posted on: Sat, 10/26/2002 - 11:38pm
becca's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

We seem to have a god grip on the candy issues, but our dd is only 3, has no siblings who eat the "other stuff", so does not know she is missing out on anything other than getting sick if she ate that stuff. We trade for safe stuff. But I too, LOVE the fairy/which idea and have shared it with friends and other parents in general. I need to get suare with dh and see if we shoud do that instead. Either way, horror of horror, it is the one time of the year we eat the "contraband." We have it that night, maybe the next day(keep it in our room up high) after dd is asleep, then I make dh take it to work.
The Halloween parties are getting to me. I thought we only had two, now we have/had 3. One was last night. Dh called and asked if any nut products were being served because we have an allergic dd. He asked more to be informed, so we would no how much radar to put out as we walked in(always on high as far as I am concerned). After being told a few things had nuts but would be out of reach, I thought maybe she had some awareness, and felt relieved. Mind you, they have no kids, and are clearly extremely unaware of peanut allergy at all, which is not their fault, and I do not mean it that way.
YIKES! Not sure what out of reach means, but... BIG bowl of trail mix right down to the M&Ms, nuts and all, at the level of my knees, bowl of pistachios at the same level, candy bowl at that level(with a safe choice in it, though), about 10 desserts, all at least a crosscontact item(bakery stuff) and including PB cookies in the shape of eeyeball and fingers(about the only thing dd could reach on that table, of course). Then, all I did was aske if I could move the trail mix to a higher, yet very accessible location(the bar/drink area), and got a vibe of annoyance from the host. Now, she was very busy, does stress in general when hosting, and for all I know, was freaked we brought a Peanut allergic child to her party!
Oh, how I regret not listening to my gut, standing up to dh, snd just not going!!!!
It was a sressful event, but for the most part, dd stays away. However her little friend was there, and once she started eating the pistachios, leaving the shells on a coffee table(mom right there), I needed out! My dd actually, for the first time ever helped herself to a potato chip(she was fine, but I *had* her so well trained) and actually was about to handle and examine the empty pistachio shells sitting on the table. That was when I realized it was going on.
I am so repeatedly hurt by this woman who is a good friend, the one watching her dd eat the pistachios. One is just a jealousy thing on my part. How much others take for granted the simple ability to just nibble at a party and not consider for a moment what is in it!! But also, that she knows about our allergies, and does not at the very least, mention to her dd to be neater, stay clear of my dd when eating it and to be sure to wash up. I actually nicely explained to the child I must take my dd to another place becasue the nuts would make her very sick, since she is very allergic. She would have followed us otherwise! She also offers to care for my child, and when I see this, I know I could never have her do that. We have talked and talked, and she clearly does ne realize this could be a life-threatening thing. And I am sure she was thinking they are NOT peanuts anyway.
We will never bring a child to that party ever again. We had not planned to, but had no sitter and figured we would see how it went. The one comfort is, dd does not seem bothered by such exposure(in the area or air to some degree). I was ooo glad to get home and give her a bath! becca
[This message has been edited by becca (edited October 27, 2002).]
[This message has been edited by becca (edited October 27, 2002).]

Posted on: Sun, 10/27/2002 - 1:37am
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Joined: 03/19/2001 - 09:00

Hi Robin: Just wanted to post a positive experience. The merchants in our town have a special trick or treat the saturday before Halloween. The kids dress up, have a parade and then trick or treat to all the stores. We went yesterday with my 5 year old triplet boys. Most of the stores had big bowls and let the kids pick out their piece of candy (as opposed to handing it out).
I am pleased to say that out of 40 or so pieces of candy, only 6-7 per bag were either peanut containing or questionable. Almost every merchant had some (what I consider to be) safe choices in their bowls.
Since my boys are all old enough to recognize many of the safe candies we had a great experience.
Just wanted to add that for us, this year was better than the last.
Good luck!
Kelly

Posted on: Sun, 10/27/2002 - 1:52am
becca's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

I was venting quite a bit of stress in my post above. I need to redeem my friend. She is trying. I have to remember how hard it has been for me, the Mother of my child, to accpet and come to grips with how serious this whole thing is. My own comfort zone has tightened over time, and changes constantly as I discover new safe/unsafe products. This may get confusing to some.
Today, the friend whose dd was eating the nuts, called to ask if the prizes she had would be okay for my dd(they are having a very small gorup of kids over for a little party today). It is Pez candy toys. They are safe, and it was so nice that she called. I am glad she is trying. It means so much to me even if there are misunderstandings. I need to be more forgiving and realize if it has been this hard for me, it is harder for others to figure it out. Thank you Kelly for making me take pause and appreciate the good out there too! Lots of people have been very good about this. Halloween and holidays(parties) are always a stressful time because of all the focus on food. becca

Posted on: Sun, 10/27/2002 - 3:14am
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Joined: 09/21/2002 - 09:00

Becca,
How awful for you, with parties being so totally stressful. I can't even imagine, since I am the allergic one in our house, and not even THAT sensitive at that.
It's tough for those who don't know much about peanut allergy. I know that when my son had a birthday party and a PA child attended, the mom let me know about the allergy. (at the time I had no allergies myself, and didn't know much about PA) I checked the ingredients of everything I bought, and made sure that nothing contained peanuts. However, I didn't know anything then about contaminated lines, or that traces could even be dangerous. A little education can be a good thing, so you may want to even (casually) give your friend an article about peanut allergy, and an example of safe/unsafe foods. Depending on your relationship, she may appreciate it. I know I would....it's so stressful when you don't know much about it and it seems like everything you buy is unsafe. I think that often friends are trying...and it's not that they are being inconsiderate, they just don't realize how horrible a bad reaction can be. I'd give the friend who was letting her daughter eat pistacios (sp?) close to your daughter have a read too...she obviously didn't quite get it. Not maliciously, but in a clueless sort of way-those who don't have to live with PA every day aren't so fine-tuned to it as you are. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Hope all goes well!

Posted on: Sun, 10/27/2002 - 10:04am
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

When we take our kids trick-or-treating, we expect to get mostly PB products, and they know beforehand that most will get thrown away. The girls really look out for their brother and try to find safe things to put in his basket. Ryan wears a glove anyway, but if he chooses to sift through an assortment this is one of our precautions to prevent skin contact with PB residue that could be on wrappers. Sometimes if people just have peanut products, the girls just say something like, "Thanks, but no-thanks. My brother has a peanut allergy and can't eat that." The girls will put something in their basket to be polite, but Ryan will just go his merry way. Some people are very apologetic, but the kids really don't care that much. All my kids know that virtually all the candy they get will be thrown away. That's okay with them because I make sure they get a mighty fine stash of VNF and Kellie's candies, safe Nestle candy from Canada, as well as some safe Hershey stuff, Skittles, and other stuff. They usually get a little present with it too. Occasionally the girls will give a wistful glance as I dump the candy into the garbage, but it's just a passing one.
We treat Halloween as a time to get dressed up and have fun going door-to-door so people can see them.
They've been assured that good 'ol Mom will "treat" them right on Halloween! Door-to-door candy is really irrelevant.

Posted on: Sun, 10/27/2002 - 6:03pm
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Joined: 12/04/2001 - 09:00

When we used to trick or treat... my young PA son used to say "no thank you" so many times, but got tired of explaining why... He has many allergies to fruits (so many fruit flavored candies as well as PA candy)!!
So we told him we would exchange all the unsafe candy with his favorite safe candy and little toys, pencils, etc. HOWEVER, if it was Reeses PB cups or any other really GOOD candy (mom loves) he would get double redemption on those! After that, He was very happy and never had to say "no thank you" again!!! He began to cheer whenever he received candy he couldn't have, because he knew at home he'd could "cash" it in for really cool stuff!!

Posted on: Sun, 10/27/2002 - 9:42pm
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Well, I explained, as best I could to my barely 3 y.o., about the Halloweem Witch. I told her she could choose. She could let Mommy and Daddy trade her with safe candy, for all her unsafe candy. She was pleased and did a bit of a dance. Then I added, "OR....there is a Halloween witch! If you choose to leave *her* all your unsafe candy, she will leave you a present!"
Her response, "Yeah! a present, a present. I want to leave it for the witch, for the witch!!" And she was a dancing fool, LOL!
Guess I got my plan! Now, we have a houseful of safe candy(much more than we need for giving out). I may have to at least be sure she gets the Smarties we got from Syd's Mom! Maybe the witch will leave those as part of the exchange. I am all stocked up for Christmas, too, so it is no extra work at this point to pull out a couple of gifts. Thanks to whomever first said this idea- I love it! becca

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