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Posted on: Tue, 04/27/2004 - 3:15am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

maybe someone is referring to my "FREEKING OUT" thread I posted a while back?

Posted on: Tue, 04/27/2004 - 3:37am
Kim M's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

Let me try to offer a new perspective.
cyberguy, Cindy quoted your post back to you because you stated that you only said Quote:[b]Children learn so much from their parents.[/b]
Well, from your post that she quoted back, that isn't the case. You clearly implied that if children were freaking out, it was because their parents were teaching them to freak out, and it was a sad thing. And that really isn't a fair inference to draw.
One of my daughters is so unafraid of creepy crawly things that she picks up slugs with her bare hands and says how beautiful they are. The other is afraid to have a butterfly land on her. I haven't taught her to be afraid of bugs, and I haven't taught each of them differently, but there you are. One is afraid of the dark, the other not. I certainly haven't taught my PA daughter that the word "peanut" is harmful, but she realizes that peanuts can hurt her and for some reason doesn't even want to hear the word right now. Is she going to feel the same way when she's 15? I sincerely doubt it. (And she may or may not like slugs as much then either.)
Yes, children learn so much from their parents, but they learn from lots of different sources, and sometimes they make up things entirely in their own minds. We are all just doing the best we can to keep our kids safe.

Posted on: Tue, 04/27/2004 - 3:50am
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Can I add something to this thread?
I had some insight to this, since talking to DW and her growing up PA with 4 siblings who were not, but her dad was.
Then I was going to comment on what 'one of us' means, as in dinner that is made differently and not everyone eating the same thing.
But you know what? I'm not going to.
I'm kind of tired reading a boat load of new threads, on many boards (whether here, there, or on another BBS), and there is nothing of interest to me. All there is, is bickering back and forth, and useless garbage going back and forth, and frankly it disgusts me.
I'm tired of it. And even moreso... I'm tired of allergies. Not disgusted by them, but tired of the world encompassing them and all my time and energy dedicated to them.
I'm tired of being told what products we should eat, which ones are safe (whatever than means), and tired of just being tired.
Call it burn out, if you will. But its just time that could be spent doing something more enjoyable -- This is simply a waste of my time.
Jason

Posted on: Tue, 04/27/2004 - 5:09am
cyberguy's picture
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Joined: 04/25/2004 - 09:00

Kim,
No I never implied that.
I'm a man. I don't see things the way you might see them. Women tend to read too much into something and twist and turn what was actually said. If I need to say something, I will just come out and say it.
Off topic--Perhaps your daughter will be a zoology major. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 04/27/2004 - 5:26am
Kim M's picture
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OK, I know men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but do we speak different languages, also?
How does [b]I truly hope that some of you are not instilling into your child's head that they should become fearful of their allergy. Although reading the other thread "Does your child freak out" it DOES sound like some of you have.[/b] [i]not[/i] mean that you think some parents are instilling fear into their children and making them freak out?
I hope I'm not coming across as combative, because I'm asking a sincere question. If you can explain to me exactly what you meant by that, then maybe I'll finally have a chance of understanding my husband! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
(ETA: Yup, my husband and I are both biology majors, so we have high hopes for our little slug girl!)
[This message has been edited by Kim M (edited April 27, 2004).]

Posted on: Tue, 04/27/2004 - 5:46am
teacher's picture
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Joined: 11/02/2000 - 09:00

Regarding the "fear factor":
I think that all children (and parents) are different, and we all do for our children what we think is best at the time. My son happens to have a learning difference and communicating with him is sometimes difficult. I use the "fear card" with him (sometimes) because it's something straightforward that he can understand. The more I debate with him, the more I elaborate, the more "howevers" I use in my discussions with him ... the faster I lose him. He needs to hear it CLEAR CUT. He's a black-and-white kinda kid. For now, at age 6, if telling him that peanuts could kill him is what keeps him respectful of himself and the grey areas of this allergy, then that's what his father and I need to do.
On the flip side of that, I WILL discuss the grey areas with his older sister so that SHE doesn't "freak out" at the first sign of a hive. She has the ability to understand things far better and more completely than he does.
For those of us parents dealing with different kids and different personalities, this is what works best. For now, anyway. I'm sure that our approach will change as he does.
Just throwing in my two cents to yours. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Tracey

Posted on: Tue, 04/27/2004 - 6:18am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by cyberguy:
[b]
I'm a man. I don't see things the way you might see them. Women tend to read too much into something and twist and turn what was actually said. If I need to say something, I will just come out and say it.
[/b]
now I have this Monty Python song going through my head. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 04/27/2004 - 10:02am
Codyman's picture
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Joined: 08/14/2002 - 09:00

NO, my daughter has not freaked out nor would she freak out if she was near someone eating something potentially dangerous to her.
I just asked my daughter if she would "freak out" and her answer was "NO, I'm in like grade 1. I would just tell the teacher and stay away from the child."

Posted on: Tue, 04/27/2004 - 11:19am
cyberguy's picture
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Joined: 04/25/2004 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Kim M:
[b]OK, I know men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but do we speak different languages, also?
How does I truly hope that some of you are not instilling into your child's head that they should become fearful of their allergy. Although reading the other thread "Does your child freak out" it DOES sound like some of you have. [i]not[/i] mean that you think some parents are instilling fear into their children and making them freak out?
I hope I'm not coming across as combative, because I'm asking a sincere question. If you can explain to me exactly what you meant by that, then maybe I'll finally have a chance of understanding my husband! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
(ETA: Yup, my husband and I are both biology majors, so we have high hopes for our little slug girl!)
[/b]
Answer to your first question is yes. I think most couples who have been married a while would say yes, men and women speak different languages. If we all spoke the same language, possibly more couples would get along better. Although, I would prefer the language of the man as the better half language tends to get somewhat emotional as expressed by many on this board.
The answer to your second question is from what a few people have briefly posted it does sound as if their child is picking up a fear of their allergy. I didn't say that they are definitely picking it up from their parents. I based my finding by what was posted. For example, CVRTBB, said that her son probably gets it from her.
I don't know these families on this board any more than you do. For all I know, they are a family just like mine. I also have seen numerous postings throughout this board suggesting that children are absorbing what stems from their parents. I didn't just conclude my findings solely on this thread. It just happened to pop up at the right time.
Kids are much more perceptive than one might think.
I do think that it would be sad if parents were projecting their fears onto their children. I don't know any parent that wouldn't find that sad.
Good luck with understanding your husband. Go easy on the guy, eh?
By the way, can anyone tell me what the difference is between paranoid and freaked out? Seem just about the same to me. I don't think they are bad words either but just curious as to the difference.
[This message has been edited by cyberguy (edited April 27, 2004).]

Posted on: Tue, 04/27/2004 - 11:26am
Kim M's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Answer to your first question is yes. I think most couples who have been married a while would say yes, men and women speak different languages. If we all spoke the same language, possibly more couples would get along better. Although, I would prefer the language of the man as the better half language tends to get somewhat emotional as expressed by many on this board.
This is definitely true. We just had a discussion about how when we argue he is usually arguing about details, and I am usually arguing about process.
And I think I understand where you were coming from now, so thanks for clarifying.
Quote:Good luck with understanding your husband. Go easy on the guy, eh?
Eh, he's tough; he can take it. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]

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