Does it ever seem easier?

Posted on: Fri, 04/16/2004 - 4:45am
momofjen's picture
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Joined: 10/07/2002 - 09:00

I was wondering if anyone else ever felt this way?

THere is a camp at my church this summer. It's only mornings and it only lasts one week. I usually send my two older boys but I never send my DD with PA, TNA and Sesame allergy.

Maybe I have a bad attitude, but sometimes I feel like it takes so much effort to make sure that the camp is safe for a week that it's just easier not to send her. I wouold probably spend the whole week worrying about her anyway.

Don't get me wrong. She does not have her heart set on going. If she did, I'm sure I would climb mountains to make sure it was safe for her and let her go.

Maybe it's not a matter of me not wanting to make sure the camp is safe, but more an issue of it's easier on my piece of mind if she is home with me.

I know that at some point, I'll have to let her go to a camp in a non controlled environment. For instance, she would love to go to a day camp for gymnastics. I'm just not ready to let her go.

Maybe as she gets older and has more of an understanding of her surroundings. Anyone ever feel like this?

Denise

Posted on: Fri, 04/16/2004 - 4:54am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

MomofJen, can't really tell you if it ever feels easier, I'm sure it does in some ways, but I can definitely tell you that I've felt the same way you have. My PA son is now 8.
He hasn't done any team sports or anything, mostly because of Idiot Mom who doesn't know how to drive and because of where we live.
I know that when he was 2-1/2 and we were still in Toronto, we did attend a Saturday *thing* with him for 8 weeks I think. I didn't stay with him - he was in the class sponsored by Parks & Rec for a couple of hours. I made sure that the young women running the class were aware of his PA. However, this was previous to his anaphylactic reactions and I'm not sure if I would have been the same.
In the other town I lived in, yes, they had a similar church camp thing, one week out of the summer, mornings only and it was something that was do-able for me. But yes, I did think, okay, do I really want to go through that whole education thing with people that he is only going to be dealing with for a week, mornings only? He would have been 5 and under at that time and I decided no.
In this town, our first summer here, it had been suggested that Jesse might do really well at a day camp, every day, for the summer that was right behind our home. I posted about it here. It was a camp that was dealing with a lot of *issues* child wise - behavioural problems and an assortment of other things, but my son was the FIRST PA child to ever be presented to them. We had a meeting with the staff and they simply felt they could not do it.
It broke my heart because it was so do-able for me, right behind our home. What the camp people did do was want to work with me throughout the summer so that my son could attend the after-school program they offered that Fall. Trouble was, we didn't plan to stay in that flat and were moving out of the area (although not out of the town) so the camp wasn't do-able for me again.
PA certainly has factored into some of the decisions I've made about Jesse, but, I think for the most part, it's my inability to drive and the places I choose to live that have really inhibited him from participating in camps, team sports, etc.
And yes, I could kick myself in the butt for not doing the church day camp when it was a do-able thing for us way back when. We haven't been presented with such a convenient opportunity since.
I also think that yes, it does probably get easier with age for our PA children - they're more aware, etc. Does it get easier for us, as parents, well, I'm not sure. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------

Posted on: Fri, 04/16/2004 - 6:41am
mommyofmatt's picture
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Joined: 03/12/2004 - 09:00

Denise,
We've only been dealing with PA for a year, but I frequently finding myself wanting to keep ds home because I feel he's safer here.
Luckily he has a twin brother and a few little friends on the street, so he does spend time with other kids. And, we do attend a playgroup, but other moms follow our diet while we're there. That's the only way I could let him attend because I can't watch him every second, and I want to protect him.
He's only 2, and I know he has to get out in the world more (school etc). But I'm afraid. So, long story short, yes I feel the same way you do. I have a hard time with the idea of strangers being responsible for my child's safety.
How old is your ds? Hopefully it does get easier as they get older.
------------------
Meg, mom to:
Matt 2 yrs. PA,MA,EA
Sean 2 yrs. NKA

Posted on: Fri, 04/16/2004 - 7:18am
Claire's picture
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Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

momofjen, If I said yes it gets easier i would be lying. I think it is just as bad as they get older. I worry about what his girlfriend may have eaten before they go out together. I worry about him in school breathing things in teenagers are eating that noone knows about. I worry about weather he will tell his new friends he has an allergy.
I worry he will take his girl out and not ask the waiter about the oils and nuts.
Will he tell her he is having an attack before it gets out of hand?
Yes I know i have been strict but that doesn't mean he will do everything i taught him.
good luck and yes i hope it does get easier. Claire

Posted on: Fri, 04/16/2004 - 9:41am
Peg541's picture
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Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by momofjen:
[b]I was wondering if anyone else ever felt this way?
I know that at some point, I'll have to let her go to a camp in a non controlled environment. For instance, she would love to go to a day camp for gymnastics. I'm just not ready to let her go.
Maybe as she gets older and has more of an understanding of her surroundings. Anyone ever feel like this?
Denise[/b]
Sure, all the time Denise. My son is 19 but we all still worry about where he goes. The worry goes on forever but it is tempered with the knowledge that we prepared him so well that an accident is not likely to happen.
And no you don't ever have to send her to a camp in a non-controlled environment, just control the environment by educating them well before she attends. Poof! its a controlled environment. Yes other kids will be eating their PBJ for lunch but your daughter will find a friend and a place to stay safe.
It is a constant state of vigilance. I sat by the phone for years and years and I am still always on the alert but the majority of the alertness I have gladly transferred to my son who takes his PA very seriously.
You'll be fine. Just give it a try.
Good luck
Peggy

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