Do You Think You Became More Compassionate Once PA Entered Your Life?

Posted on: Sun, 06/20/2004 - 3:09am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Do you feel you became a more compassionate human being once PA entered your life?

Any other adjectives you've become since PA entered your life?

Many thanks and best wishes! [img][/img]


Posted on: Sun, 06/20/2004 - 4:24am
Lovey's picture
Joined: 03/22/2004 - 09:00


Posted on: Sun, 06/20/2004 - 6:02am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Absolutely. I think the prospect of facing death each and every day would make you more compassionate. I would also say it's made me more outspoken and at particular times more combative than my old self because I actually have a good cause to fight.
Cade PA
Carson NKA

Posted on: Sun, 06/20/2004 - 6:05am
Going Nuts's picture
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Without a doubt. It just brings home that there are so many things we have little control over, and that we never know what burdens others carry.

Posted on: Sun, 06/20/2004 - 2:10pm
California Mom's picture
Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Yes, definitely. My compassion quotient has gone up even more since adding in ADHD, ODD and severe anxiety/depression along with the PA.
Sometimes when I am really down and I think "why me?" I think about how compassionate I am now. Some of the moms I know from school, girl scouts, etc. are so judgmental and don't have a clue. Their ignorance and hurtfulness does bother me, but at the same time I think: "I am so blessed to have compassion for others".
I do think that I am compassionate by nature. But now I [b]really[/b] understand that people are going through their own private difficulties. Also, I don't think I will ever again see a child as a "spoiled brat" whose parents aren't doing a good job.
And I certainly will never think that a parent is just over protective and wigged out when they say their child has a food allergy!!!
This is such an important topic and I am so glad you raised it, Cindy.

Posted on: Mon, 06/21/2004 - 1:13am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Been thinking about this. Egg/Chicken sort of deal.
Don't think PA/FA are the most life changing/shaping/defining events in my life or my family's life (wrt: compassion). But, for whatever reasons, we haven't found [i]compassion[/i] to be a commodity in short supply. PA or otherwise.
Of course, it possibly has had [i]some[/i] effect, but if I had to pick the things that have had the most [i]significant[/i] impact/influencing my level of compassion........... (I mean, are we talking [i]nature/nurture??[/i])..........., I'd have to say:
My Parents. Their historical accounts of [i]their own lives[/i] "growing up" and through witnessing first hand their actions. You know, [b]The Big Picture[/b].
Having older parents. (Can't believe how many people show disdain/lack of compassion/lack of patience/lack of understanding for the elderly.)
Having a forein parent. (Can't believe how many people show disdain/lack of compasion/lack of patience/lack of understnanding for those who [i]are different[/i] from themselves.)
Being raised an "only" child.
Long term observation of family members/situations in particular while "growing up".
Ostrazation by peer members.
Having held employment from an early age in jobs requiring manual/non-technical/non-certified labor. But in no way would I say: "unskilled". [img][/img]
The underdogs in my life.
(If I think of anything else, I'll add it.) [img][/img]
I mean, I think my family/I was quite prepared to have a child with PA/FA, for instance.

Posted on: Mon, 06/21/2004 - 1:21am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
(If I think of anything else, I'll add it.) [img][/img]
oh yeah: Having been "obese" during a portion of my childhood/early teens.
(Can't believe how many people show disdain/lack of compasion/lack of patience/lack of understanding for those who aren't [i]physically perfect[/i]). I mean, [i]who is?[/i]
One of the biggest lightbulb moments was noting the [i]difference[/i] in attention/acceptance/[i]whatever[/i] I recieved based on mere physical attributes after losing weight/reshaping. Taught me much about [i]some[/i] people.

Posted on: Mon, 06/21/2004 - 1:32am
StaceyK's picture
Joined: 05/06/2003 - 09:00

I think in some ways, I am more compassionate - or at least more understanding. But in a weird way, I'm less compassionate.
I find myself resentful because all of the years I was compassionate and accomodating. Now that it's my child who has the issue, I meet with resistence, disbelief and hostility everywhere. In Church we are told to be compassionate, always, but the Church school is very unkind about the allergy.
I know it's very against Christian thought for me to be saying "What's in it for me?" But I can't help feeling a disheartened by it.
MB, I was always SKINNY - terribly - as a kid and it was an ordeal. People don't hesitate to comment constantly, and/or they assume you are: anorexic, an AIDS or cancer patient, or just downright weird.
Also, people just don't want to hear that you can't put on weight. That earns a roll of the eyes and a "wish it were me!" They wouldn't if it was them!
I always wanted to be substantial. I *loved* being pregnant and finally piling on some weight!
I guess unless you fit some very narrow, perfect mold, you are just in for it!

Posted on: Mon, 06/21/2004 - 2:18am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by StaceyK:
[b]MB, I was always SKINNY - terribly - as a kid and it was an ordeal. People don't hesitate to comment constantly, and/or they assume you are: anorexic, an AIDS or cancer patient, or just downright weird.
[i]Completely understand.[/i] I mean, when I first lost the weight, I went down to 80-some pounds at 5'10.
Maybe people thought the same about me.
[i]Now, I make up my own.[/i]
Now, the only thing about appearance that makes me cringe is when people follow fad dressing. I mean, a lot of the stuff *out there* doesn't fit well, isn't flattering, or is just uncomfortable and not designed for placement on the human form. I mean, seems some stuff is designed for finding *flaws*/problem areas/[i]naturally occuring adipose[/i] that wasn't meant for the light of day. [img][/img] Or at least wasn't designed for particular presentation. [img][/img]
Some body parts, no matter how *normal*, expected, or [i]meant to be there[/i], will never look *right*/the way they were meant to look.............when presented in a certain [i]fashion[/i]. [img][/img]
I'm all for sexy. I'm all for *good fit*. I'm even all for some level of [b]reveal[/b] -[i]lation[/i].
Maybe even a [i]little discomfort[/i]. [img][/img]
I'm all for believing *everyone* can find flattering, body complimenting, clothes. As long as *looks* are being discussed. [img][/img]
Compassion wise? I mean, some of the latest fashions I've yet to find flattering *on anybody* [i]perfect body[/i] or not. Soooooooooooooo. I try not to cringe. I try to see why they may wear some of the things they do. (Statement? Emotion? Need? *Feeling [b]good[/b] about themselves?)
I just don't *see* it yet. I mean, the teen years are rough, body image wise, so just can't figure out why all these *impossible fashions* are directed at [i]that[/i] end of the market?

Posted on: Mon, 06/21/2004 - 2:53am
ALLERGYMOM's picture
Joined: 10/09/2003 - 09:00

I think PA has made me more understanding, outspoken, aware, and made me realize to take nothing for granted. many things happened in my life before PA and MFA that made me a compassionate person.
MB I understand what you are saying. My DH is Asian and even now in 2004 in some places we travel we still get the looks.
Have A Great Day

Posted on: Mon, 06/21/2004 - 5:53am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

No, I don't think I became more compassionate with pa.
Prior to developing any allergies I went out of my way to make parties all-inclusive for my friend's son who had multiple food allergies. She didn't demand/expect or even request it. I just did it, cuz he was a little boy who should have just as much fun as all the other kids.
PA made me more paranoid.
Motherhood made me more compassionate. [img][/img]



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