Do you think that (in general) it takes husbands longer to \'get it\'?

Posted on: Wed, 03/05/2003 - 8:51am
StephR's picture
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Joined: 02/03/2003 - 09:00

When Cody was first diagnosed with pa a few weeks ago, I don't think my husband understood how dangerous this allergy is. He kept saying that it would be unfair to force Deuce (our 3 yr old) to give up his favorite treat (pb&j). I have been showing him articles and studies ever since. Today I came home to find a plastic container of 'peanut butter passion' ice cream in the trash and I asked him why it was there. He said, 'Well, I was going to just dump the ice cream out and keep the container (the plastic containers are great to store cookies and such in), but then I thought about all of the peanut residue contaminating all of the other dishes in the sink and I didn't want to take the risk with Cody.' He finally gets it, ya!!! But, did it take other husbands weeks to understand what the allergy can do? (I'm not trying to offend husbands, it's just that in most cases moms take care of the majority of medical concerns)

~Steph, mommy to Deuce (3 yrs) and Dakota (8 months)

Posted on: Wed, 03/05/2003 - 9:40am
Triciasmom's picture
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Joined: 08/03/2000 - 09:00

I think that (and I am generalizing here) men tend to be more practical and less emotional. But it really depends on the person. My DH quit his job and became a stay-at-home dad with his kids from his first marriage. Now he is working full-time, and I am the stay-at-home mom, but he is still very focussed on the kids (his two and our daughter Patricia).
He was the one who kept a level head when Patricia had her first reaction. He was the one who told me to find some benedryl. And he is usually the one who is up first if Patricia so much as whimpers in her sleep at night. However, I was the one with more time to do research on PA and organize all the doctors appointments. So I understood how severe PA was before he did, but I printed out a lot of articles from the internet, and he was quick to learn how to keep our daughter safe.
Amy

Posted on: Wed, 03/05/2003 - 10:58am
Going Nuts's picture
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Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

If you do a search, you'll find another thread on this subject somewhere. Possibly quite ancient. I think you'll find that most of the posters would have been [b]thrilled[/b] if it only took their DH's [b]weeks[/b] to get it! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img]
Amy

Posted on: Wed, 03/05/2003 - 2:22pm
helenmc's picture
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Joined: 05/01/2002 - 09:00

A'hem -clears thoat-
Geoff (Helen's very PA aware hubby) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
PS I'm called the 'nut nazi' in our house!

Posted on: Wed, 03/05/2003 - 2:51pm
momof4's picture
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Joined: 03/26/2001 - 09:00

My hubby got it pretty quickly. He has kinda gone overboard though. He has pretty much taken this child under his wing and has a huge bubble around her. We have 4 together and the first one has no allergies and he does things with her. But #2 is our PA, and so on...and he protects her like you wouldn't believe. #3 he allows alot of freedom to but has no allergies. #4 our son, he is being very careful with, I have a feeling he is allergic to either peanut or eggs or something, so he is doing the bubble thing to him too. We have to get him tested to know. But we have no peanut things in our home so not a big worry. So some men get it really quick, but he was at the appointment and heard the allergist and he was so good to get the point across it was a really good experience. Other than she has allergies to everything.

Posted on: Wed, 03/05/2003 - 10:24pm
Batman's picture
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Joined: 08/11/2000 - 09:00

Being the overprotective mother I am, my husband did not come up to speed nearly as fast as I did - for a few reasons. I take the kids to the allergist, I ask the questions, I do the shopping so I know the foods he can eat, I talk to the teachers and the school, and I do all the reading about PA passing along the information to him.
Don't get me wrong, he is a fantastic dad and is involved with the kids every second, but some things he leaves to me to pass onto him, and this is one of them.
Rita

Posted on: Wed, 03/05/2003 - 10:53pm
StephR's picture
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Joined: 02/03/2003 - 09:00

oops, sorry Geoff. LOL nut nazi, huh? My husband is turning into one of those literally over night. He is examining EVERYTHING all of a sudden. :-)
~Steph

Posted on: Wed, 03/05/2003 - 11:30pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Yes, totally. But then, if and when they do, they can surprise you! LOL!
------------------

Posted on: Wed, 03/05/2003 - 11:49pm
katiee's picture
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Joined: 05/09/2001 - 09:00

It took my DH longer to get it for the same reasons that Batman mentioned.
After my son had a serious reaction last May at a family gathering, everyone was trying to convince me that my son was OK. I hesitated but decided to get him to the ER. DH was one of the "lets wait and see" types, after that incident he defers to my judgement with regard to PA and asthma.
Take care,
Katiee

Posted on: Thu, 03/06/2003 - 12:02am
Sarahfran's picture
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Joined: 06/08/2000 - 09:00

Weeks? That would be nice! We're at the start of year three of dealing with this allergy, and DH still doesn't "get it" about many things. "Weeks" was what it took for him to agree to keep peanut products out of the house; "months" was him remembering when out in public to check labels, ask at restaurants (he once tried to order a PB and banana sandwich for DD because she likes bananas so much!), etc.; "years" is what it's taking for him to remember to always take the epipen when going out with DD!
Sarah

Posted on: Thu, 03/06/2003 - 12:19am
AJSMAMA's picture
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Joined: 06/12/2002 - 09:00

Yes most of them are indeed a different breed! Mine is doing better but it has been a work in progress...
Jaime [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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