Do you avoid social situations that might be risky?

Posted on: Sun, 11/05/2006 - 10:19am
bethc's picture
Joined: 04/18/2005 - 09:00

Do you go to events where there could be peanuts and you aren't in control of the situation? Does it depend on how important the social part of the situation is?

I went to a bridal shower for my sister this weekend, bringing my daughters with, including my PA DD. It was given by the groom's family, so I was not in a position to request that peanuts not be served (besides that I even RSVP'd late). We planned for DD not to eat. We brought treats in my purse and had pop and more treats in the car.

So the nut food was as bad as I could have imagined. Mixed nuts in a bowl by the punch right off the bat. So I told DD not to even have punch, and she never even touched the cup someone brought her. And the food served at the end was a choice of desserts, one of which appeared to have peanut butter frosting, and cheese and almond spread on tea bread. DD stayed by me and basically away from everyone else. I didn't eat anything with peanuts. DD didn't touch anything. She ate her own treats, then we went outside to the adjoining park. She was fine.

So we always have to weigh those things. I really did think they might serve mixed nuts; shower food often includes those. But I wanted to go to the shower, and I needed to bring the girls if I was going. But I could have skipped it entirely, anticipating a possible risk.

How much risk do you take? Is it enough for the PA person to not eat the food as long as people aren't eating and touching common objects (silverware, napkins, toys, game pieces)?

I did decide to stay for lunch after a funeral recently with DD, because otherwise we wouldn't get a chance to visit with the relatives. So I packed her a lunch.

How much do you cut yourselves off socially because of PA?

I do in some cases. I've skipped graduation open houses since this got to be serious business for us. I'm just not sure where we should draw the line.

Posted on: Sun, 11/05/2006 - 10:56am
joeybeth's picture
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

we only skip the very obvious.....restaurants with peanuts in buckets, pb&j on the menu, etc.
....circus events or other events that might have roasted peanuts and/or nuts
...candy stores..
'can't think of many more. we are not as much limited to where we go and what we do as we are to what we eat. my girls sometimes have to have their own food or an alternate food at restaurants, for ex, but PA doesn't actually keep us out of many places or from attending many events.
i refuse to let it run our lives. some days we barely remember it exists. [img][/img]

Posted on: Sun, 11/05/2006 - 11:39am
starlight's picture
Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

I go anywhere where there aren't peanuts strewn all over around the place (like some steakhouses).
I'm not aerosol or contact reactive, so I just eat before I go to parties and I don't let relatives kiss me (I wouldn't let them kiss me even if I didn't have PA, I can't stand slobber). But I go to candy stores, parties, etc.
However, I do use my PA, when all else fails, as an excuse sometimes to leave early or not go somewhere. My relatives have recently gotten fond of putting out mixed nuts on the table, which does make me uncomfortable since they're so close and everyone's touching everything. They're the side of my family I don't like, and I always end up being dragged to these parties because I still live with my parents. So I'm actually happy when I see the nuts because then I can tell my parents I'm uncomfortable and we leave early. And I've told other relatives I can't go out to eat with them (Baker's Square) because of all the peanut residue. I've sat in restaurants like that very often and just not eaten (as you get used to as a PA person and you want to spend time with your friends), but I didn't want to go out with them and they're very pushy so I just used the PA as an excuse. Bad me.

Posted on: Sun, 11/05/2006 - 12:33pm
joeybeth's picture
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

we often use PA as an excuse to avoid situations. not bad you - clever you. [img][/img] it comes in handy every now and then. a silver lining maybe?

Posted on: Sun, 11/05/2006 - 1:06pm
Corvallis Mom's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Anything that we don't know anything at all about the food-- we skip. Just not worth the heartache when more than 50% of the time we must leave early anyway...
DD is contact and aerosol sensitive to pn and egg. Every time we've tried it, we've been burned by someone bringing something so awful that we are terrified to stay. (Devilled eggs + toddlers eating them... pecan pie + kids roaming with plastic forks and plates.... you get the idea...)
But I agree with Joeybeth-- sometimes this comes in handy, as odd as that sounds. [img][/img]

Posted on: Mon, 11/06/2006 - 5:01am
SallyL's picture
Joined: 02/20/2006 - 09:00

We do avoid those restaurants with peanuts and shells all over the floor, but that's it. We did miss a family get-together last year. I just felt like skipping it since they put peanuts/nuts in everything, and all within reach (my DD wasn't quite 2) but something else ended up coming up so we couldn't go anyways. So I was tempted to skip because of the allergy but skipped for other reasons. Thankfully this year we can't make it either. I would have gone, but not really had much fun since we wouldn't be able to let her 2 feet from us! She is learning not to eat without asking, but being 2 she still has trouble with impulse control!!! (Then again, so does mommy, but that's different! LOL)

Posted on: Mon, 11/06/2006 - 9:09am
krc's picture
Joined: 01/16/2007 - 09:00

We do not go to restaurants ever really but we do go to family functions such as baby showers, weddings etc where there may sometimes be nut items or at least may contains. We bring all of dd's own food and are watchful.
We also call ahead to events such as a circus. If peanuts are going to be served- we do not attend. DD has had a rx before when we went to an event unaware people were going to be cracking peanuts.
[This message has been edited by krc (edited November 06, 2006).]

Posted on: Tue, 11/07/2006 - 4:55am
k9ruby's picture
Joined: 03/25/2004 - 09:00

Yes, unless we are in control and nut free teh whole thing!

Posted on: Tue, 11/07/2006 - 1:53pm
JenniferKSwan's picture
Joined: 06/19/2006 - 09:00

Most of my family knows about Aiden's allergy but it's still a gamble. Of course we bring all of his food but your heart races when you walk in the door. Especially now that he is mobile and so darn fast!
I avoid events through Mom's Club that are not sanctioned "food free" because it's just too much. Too many small kids sharing and dropping food. All events are nut free, but I'm dealing with MFA's. IF there is a special party - Halloween, Christmas, etc, I will attend but only if another adult from our family is present. Especially now that I have Connor.
It's taking a toll on Aiden. Between the food events and my being out of circulation because of pregnancy/birth he literally didn't know what to do with all the kids around him. He retreated to the playpen area and played solo. It breaks my heart. I don't want to push to do more events right now because neither child is up to date on immunizations (due to eczema issues, will try again in a few months with Aiden when he is 2). Not to mention, we did many playgroups last year that involved all of us being sick at least once a month! I'm not ready to expose Connor to that at 4 months of age. It's that catch-22.
Mommy to Aiden (1/26/05) PA,wheat,barley,soy,egg and others yet to be discovered and Connor (7/21/06) with possible egg allergy

Posted on: Tue, 11/07/2006 - 3:02pm
Triciasmom's picture
Joined: 08/03/2000 - 09:00

When Patricia was a toddler, I avoided nearly everything. I think I outgrew my paranoia when Patricia started asking me first before touching or eating anything.
Needless to say, we don't go to those chuck-a-peanut-shell bucket restaurants. We don't do Dairy Queen. We don't do Thai, Chinese, or mixed bakeries.
Whenever we travel, and we have done some very long road trips, we always carry safe food, snacks, wipes, etc. The larger concern for us these days is my younger daughter... she is allergic to wheat, barley, rye, soy, egg, milk, and casein. Sometimes it is difficult to find a restaurant that has anything for her to eat.
But yes, when I want to avoid social stuff, I do tend to use the kids' allergies as an excuse. [img][/img]

Posted on: Wed, 11/08/2006 - 2:13am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by joeybeth:
[b]we often use PA as an excuse to avoid situations. not bad you - clever you. [img][/img] it comes in handy every now and then. a silver lining maybe?[/b]


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