DD\'s year for attending Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. . . yours\' too?

Posted on: Sun, 10/15/2006 - 3:36am
Gail W's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Mariah is 12 turning 13 this year, and as of yesterday she has attended 4 Bar/Bat Mitzvahs since school started 8 weeks ago. We're not Jewish, so this year has been a learning experience for me. There are about 270 kids in her 7th grade and sometimes as many as up to half are invited. There has been a ceremony at the Temple in the morning around 10-ish that is usually immediately followed by a Kiddush luncheon. The luncheon has been buffet style.

Then later, that same evening, there's been a big party from around 6 to 11 pm. The parties have been exqusite. One was at Planet Hollywood (dress up as a movie star), one in a rented building that was a former factory (dinner, DJ), one at a lovely restaurant with DJ, and one (next weekend) is at a country club. Last night was a catered 'evening of demolition ball, laser tag, dinner and dancing' at a facility the family rented out. Mariah had a blast. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

She has 3 more invitations. I'm exhausted. Between the luncheon and the dinner, there's so much for me to coordinate.

Is anyone else managing these events for their PA pre-teen?

ETA: or anyone already been through this?

[This message has been edited by Gail W (edited October 15, 2006).]

Posted on: Sun, 10/15/2006 - 8:46am
Going Nuts's picture
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Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Oh boy, I thought those big parties were a NY/LA phenomenon! Guess it's spreading to the rest of the country too.
I feel your pain. This is DS's Bar Mitzvah year as well. I'm following the cue from a friend who has a son with Celiac. It really became impossible to talk to all the caterers, trust them, etc. She kept him home from the services of all but the closest of friends, fed him at home, and then brought him to the parties where he just danced, played, etc., but didn't eat. My son seems to be OK with this arrangement. I hate having him skip the services, but I just can't imagine trusting all the caterers with details like that.
Right now I'm planning his, and in addition to him there will be at least 3 other PA/TNA kids. You just reminded me to look into finding someone to bake a cake, rather than have the caterer do it. I'd do it myself, but it won't look appetizing enough. I really ought to take a Wilton class (in my considerable free time, of course [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ).
BTW, my son's will be pretty modest in comparison with most of the others, and it's still more elaborate (and more work!) that I wanted it to be. I didn't grow up in a Jewish area, and it was not common for girls to have Bat Mitzvahs when I was growing up so I didn't go to many. But whatever happened to the days of the kiddush lunch and then a party in the basement? (Sweet 16's used to be like that too. Wait until you see what those have turned into, LOL!)
Glad Mariah is enjoying all the hoopla!
Amy

Posted on: Sun, 10/15/2006 - 9:40am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Hi Amy! I wondered if this was your son's year. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Mariah is actually enjoying the services (even though they've lasted 2 hours or so). She sits with her best friend who actually 'lips' the readings for practice (her Bat Mitzvah is next month). She skips eating the luncheon food. We had her skip one dinner because I never connected with the caterer, but went for the dancing/party. We've been able to work out two dinners for her so far.
Yes, she's definitely enjoying the hoopla. I can say with all honesty that some of these parties are more elaborate than my wedding.
When is your DS's?

Posted on: Sun, 10/15/2006 - 8:35pm
Going Nuts's picture
Offline
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

DS's is in January, and he's finally taking his studying/mitzvah project, etc. very seriously. He's been working like a demon. I think he's determined to do at least as well as his brother did, and let me tell you (warning - mommy brag coming) his brother was [i]perfect[/i].
As for them being more elaborate than your wedding, that's you and me both! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] There was an article in our local paper last week about Quinceneras and how elaborate those have become as well. I guess it's just the way of the world...
Amy

Posted on: Mon, 10/16/2006 - 5:54am
Beth V's picture
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Joined: 01/15/2000 - 09:00

HI All,
I have twin boys who are 9--one with PA and one without. I was just thinking about this very issue on Friday night. The 4th grade class had a special service with a desert buffet. They set up a separate peanut free area, but Alex didn't feel comfortable with all the cross contamination of little fingers eating desert that was not peanut free and them grabbing for his peanut free stuff. I was really very proud of him for telling me this. I brought the tray in but put lots of desert in a plastic bag for him that I put on a plate and gave him after service. I overheard one of the moms say that she just had her son's Bar Mitzvah and the theme was candy---Snickers table, Milky Way table etc.---I'm sure you get the picture. I started to think about all this and my stomach was in knots. I wish you all the best---please let us know how this all went from time to time. Thanks,
Beth

Posted on: Mon, 10/16/2006 - 6:43am
Gail W's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Hi Beth V. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] My stomach is been in knots too. I try to coordinate as much as I can on the phone beforehand, but sometimes it's just not possible and I need to speak to the caterer/manager that night. Mariah hates this of course. . . her mom walking in with her to 'her' party. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img]
It's the intensity of the shear number of Bar/Bat Mitzvahs that has me worn down at the moment. . . that there are so many. It's hard for me to coordinate with the food provider and I'm feeling overwhelmed. Not that it would really matter, but I just hadn't given much thought to the idea that [i]everyone[/i] is turing 13 this year. So Bar/t Mitzvahs are a major activity in our family life right now in that she has one to attend nearly half of all our weekends this school year.
That 'coach' bag and her blinged out cell phone have been put to use this year!

Posted on: Mon, 10/16/2006 - 9:03am
Going Nuts's picture
Offline
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]
That 'coach' bag and her blinged out cell phone have been put to use this year![/b]
She's obviously way ahead of me in terms of knowing how to accessorize! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Amy

Posted on: Wed, 10/18/2006 - 10:42pm
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Gail, [i]it is time[/i].
For some [i]very understated[/i] bling.
Something in Platium. (Or white gold, since it seems to be more readily available.)
I'm thinking some "huggie" earrings (elegant, versatile, comfortable, secure) or a "right hand ring", which would necessitate some pave, (in diamonds ($$)) or an "antique reproduction" piece.
I'm not really into "antique" reproduction and prefer clean, sporty lines, so I can't help you much there. But I have a feeling it is something probably popular with the young ladies currently, watching the trends that have been resurfacing.
But, speaking personally, I treasure the more lasting items, namely key pieces of jewelry, my parents indulged me with as a young lady. I mean, they are things I still have as an adult.....[i]and use[/i].
FWIW. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 10/18/2006 - 10:56pm
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]Mariah hates this of course. . . her mom walking in with her to 'her' party. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img]
[/b]
[url="http://www.bluenile.com/product_details.asp?oid=3799&catid=125&filter_id=0&nav1=bracelet_channel.asp&page=1&col=1&row=2&pos=3&set_shape="]http://www.bluenile.com/product_detail s...os=3&set_shape=[/url]
[url="http://www.bluenile.com/product_details.asp?oid=3211&catid=125&filter_id=0&nav1=bracelet_channel.asp&page=1&col=2&row=2&pos=4&set_shape="]http://www.bluenile.com/product_detail s...os=4&set_shape=[/url]
but oooooo! might order these myself!
[url="http://www.bluenile.com/product_details.asp?oid=2496&catid=58&filter_id=0&nav1=earring_channel.asp&page=1&show_all_pages=0&col=3&row=5&pos=15&set_shape="]http://www.bluenile.com/product_details....s=15&set_shape=[/url]
~never used the site, just personally thought they looked fabulous.
<<>> [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
edited to add a link! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited October 19, 2006).]

Posted on: Tue, 12/05/2006 - 5:00am
Gail W's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

raising for SFmom

Posted on: Sun, 10/15/2006 - 8:46am
Going Nuts's picture
Offline
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Oh boy, I thought those big parties were a NY/LA phenomenon! Guess it's spreading to the rest of the country too.
I feel your pain. This is DS's Bar Mitzvah year as well. I'm following the cue from a friend who has a son with Celiac. It really became impossible to talk to all the caterers, trust them, etc. She kept him home from the services of all but the closest of friends, fed him at home, and then brought him to the parties where he just danced, played, etc., but didn't eat. My son seems to be OK with this arrangement. I hate having him skip the services, but I just can't imagine trusting all the caterers with details like that.
Right now I'm planning his, and in addition to him there will be at least 3 other PA/TNA kids. You just reminded me to look into finding someone to bake a cake, rather than have the caterer do it. I'd do it myself, but it won't look appetizing enough. I really ought to take a Wilton class (in my considerable free time, of course [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ).
BTW, my son's will be pretty modest in comparison with most of the others, and it's still more elaborate (and more work!) that I wanted it to be. I didn't grow up in a Jewish area, and it was not common for girls to have Bat Mitzvahs when I was growing up so I didn't go to many. But whatever happened to the days of the kiddush lunch and then a party in the basement? (Sweet 16's used to be like that too. Wait until you see what those have turned into, LOL!)
Glad Mariah is enjoying all the hoopla!
Amy

Posted on: Sun, 10/15/2006 - 9:40am
Gail W's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Hi Amy! I wondered if this was your son's year. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Mariah is actually enjoying the services (even though they've lasted 2 hours or so). She sits with her best friend who actually 'lips' the readings for practice (her Bat Mitzvah is next month). She skips eating the luncheon food. We had her skip one dinner because I never connected with the caterer, but went for the dancing/party. We've been able to work out two dinners for her so far.
Yes, she's definitely enjoying the hoopla. I can say with all honesty that some of these parties are more elaborate than my wedding.
When is your DS's?

Posted on: Sun, 10/15/2006 - 8:35pm
Going Nuts's picture
Offline
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

DS's is in January, and he's finally taking his studying/mitzvah project, etc. very seriously. He's been working like a demon. I think he's determined to do at least as well as his brother did, and let me tell you (warning - mommy brag coming) his brother was [i]perfect[/i].
As for them being more elaborate than your wedding, that's you and me both! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] There was an article in our local paper last week about Quinceneras and how elaborate those have become as well. I guess it's just the way of the world...
Amy

Posted on: Mon, 10/16/2006 - 5:54am
Beth V's picture
Offline
Joined: 01/15/2000 - 09:00

HI All,
I have twin boys who are 9--one with PA and one without. I was just thinking about this very issue on Friday night. The 4th grade class had a special service with a desert buffet. They set up a separate peanut free area, but Alex didn't feel comfortable with all the cross contamination of little fingers eating desert that was not peanut free and them grabbing for his peanut free stuff. I was really very proud of him for telling me this. I brought the tray in but put lots of desert in a plastic bag for him that I put on a plate and gave him after service. I overheard one of the moms say that she just had her son's Bar Mitzvah and the theme was candy---Snickers table, Milky Way table etc.---I'm sure you get the picture. I started to think about all this and my stomach was in knots. I wish you all the best---please let us know how this all went from time to time. Thanks,
Beth

Posted on: Mon, 10/16/2006 - 6:43am
Gail W's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Hi Beth V. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] My stomach is been in knots too. I try to coordinate as much as I can on the phone beforehand, but sometimes it's just not possible and I need to speak to the caterer/manager that night. Mariah hates this of course. . . her mom walking in with her to 'her' party. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img]
It's the intensity of the shear number of Bar/Bat Mitzvahs that has me worn down at the moment. . . that there are so many. It's hard for me to coordinate with the food provider and I'm feeling overwhelmed. Not that it would really matter, but I just hadn't given much thought to the idea that [i]everyone[/i] is turing 13 this year. So Bar/t Mitzvahs are a major activity in our family life right now in that she has one to attend nearly half of all our weekends this school year.
That 'coach' bag and her blinged out cell phone have been put to use this year!

Posted on: Mon, 10/16/2006 - 9:03am
Going Nuts's picture
Offline
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]
That 'coach' bag and her blinged out cell phone have been put to use this year![/b]
She's obviously way ahead of me in terms of knowing how to accessorize! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Amy

Posted on: Wed, 10/18/2006 - 10:42pm
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Gail, [i]it is time[/i].
For some [i]very understated[/i] bling.
Something in Platium. (Or white gold, since it seems to be more readily available.)
I'm thinking some "huggie" earrings (elegant, versatile, comfortable, secure) or a "right hand ring", which would necessitate some pave, (in diamonds ($$)) or an "antique reproduction" piece.
I'm not really into "antique" reproduction and prefer clean, sporty lines, so I can't help you much there. But I have a feeling it is something probably popular with the young ladies currently, watching the trends that have been resurfacing.
But, speaking personally, I treasure the more lasting items, namely key pieces of jewelry, my parents indulged me with as a young lady. I mean, they are things I still have as an adult.....[i]and use[/i].
FWIW. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 10/18/2006 - 10:56pm
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]Mariah hates this of course. . . her mom walking in with her to 'her' party. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img]
[/b]
[url="http://www.bluenile.com/product_details.asp?oid=3799&catid=125&filter_id=0&nav1=bracelet_channel.asp&page=1&col=1&row=2&pos=3&set_shape="]http://www.bluenile.com/product_detail s...os=3&set_shape=[/url]
[url="http://www.bluenile.com/product_details.asp?oid=3211&catid=125&filter_id=0&nav1=bracelet_channel.asp&page=1&col=2&row=2&pos=4&set_shape="]http://www.bluenile.com/product_detail s...os=4&set_shape=[/url]
but oooooo! might order these myself!
[url="http://www.bluenile.com/product_details.asp?oid=2496&catid=58&filter_id=0&nav1=earring_channel.asp&page=1&show_all_pages=0&col=3&row=5&pos=15&set_shape="]http://www.bluenile.com/product_details....s=15&set_shape=[/url]
~never used the site, just personally thought they looked fabulous.
<<>> [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
edited to add a link! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited October 19, 2006).]

Posted on: Tue, 12/05/2006 - 5:00am
Gail W's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

raising for SFmom

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