Daughter Threatened w/ PB at school

Posted on: Wed, 01/16/2008 - 3:23pm
Love my babies's picture
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Joined: 03/18/2005 - 09:00

My dd was sitting at lunch when two boys waved their sandwiches in the air and said "oooh peanut butter watch out". My dd was taken to the office for "observation". She was not allowed to finish her lunch and missed recess. All the while the boys ate lunch and played until it was time to go back to the classroom. What do I do, I am so mad, I understand wanting to observe her, but I think it was not handled correctly. I also think I will add to her emergency plan to call me any time there is an issue. Any advice?

Posted on: Wed, 01/16/2008 - 5:02pm
bhcassidyjj's picture
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Joined: 06/01/2007 - 09:00

I would be so mad!!! In a situation like this its hard to be objective but I will do my best...
First I would check the school's policy on bullying, both for their interpretation of the word and to see if they have any punishments lined out for it. Its hard to tell from your description if the boys were close enough to your daughter to put her in physical danger, and if they weren't some schools may define it as teasing rather than bullying. Some schools do classify teasing as bullying, but yours may not and may argue that a verbal reprimand was enough of a punishment.
I would be very upset that she was not able to finish her lunch. I feel that if there was a chance that her food was contaminated (which is the only justifiable reason for her to not be allowed to finish), the school should have provided her with a safe replacement since they did not do their job to protect her. I know I'm being unrealistic there, it just really upsets me.
The sad thing is that these kids probably learned this attitude toward allergies from their ignorant parents. When are people going to get it? And why is it always our job to educate them, and thats only after we manage to convince them its worth learning about? Sorry about that, just been running into a lot of disturbing articles, blogs, etc. lately...

Posted on: Thu, 01/17/2008 - 6:00am
LDR's picture
LDR
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Joined: 09/28/2001 - 09:00

So sorry to hear that your child had to experience this. I think some education of the children is in order, too. You didn't say how old your child is. If she's young, you could ask the teacher to read "Allie the allergic elephant" or any of the peanut allergy books as a way to open up the discussion. If older, maybe the topic can be discussed in the context of nutrition or health class.
I hope your daughter doesn't take it personally. Kids (and for that matter, adults as well) are notorious for doing and saying things they don't mean because they don't understand the significance of it.

Posted on: Thu, 01/17/2008 - 6:13am
Krusty Krab's picture
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Joined: 04/20/2007 - 09:00

[b]I hope your daughter doesn't take it personally.[/b]
I can't imagine it being taken any other way.
What they did to your child is akin to pointed a loaded gun at her. I would have NO mercy for any person, child or adult who behaved in such an aggressive way towards a child of mine. You say the children were only fooling? They'd know the difference between fooling and intent to do bodily harm (or must I insert attempted murder?) after a conversation in the office with me. I would be in that office SO fast, fire off a extremely stern letters to all in charge and to the SD, as well as the parents of the children.
Oh no no no, I would never take this c rap from anyone. It is what it is....they [i]knew[/i] of your child's allergy and they did it anyways. Bullies.
Boils my blood.

Posted on: Thu, 01/17/2008 - 6:15am
Krusty Krab's picture
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Joined: 04/20/2007 - 09:00

Teasing? No, that's not teasing. Situations like this, where a child can [i]die[/i] from the object dangling in front of them, is not teasing. It should be viewed as threatening behaviour, aggressive and should be dealt with as such.

Posted on: Thu, 01/17/2008 - 12:42pm
bhcassidyjj's picture
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Joined: 06/01/2007 - 09:00

Krusty, I was not saying that this situation was not dangerous, nor was I saying that it shouldn't be dealt with further with the SD, the children, and with their parents. I was simply playing devil's advocate and looking for a SD's possible defense or explanation for handling it the way they did. I believe when handling a situation like this, thinking of the views of all involved helps you to make a stronger argument for what you want changed.

Posted on: Thu, 01/17/2008 - 2:05pm
Boots's picture
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Joined: 12/21/2007 - 16:15

I am scared to death to see what happens when Kaleigh starts real school. Thankfully she can stay in the school she is in now until 1st grade. It is a huge church where everyone is aware of Kaleigh's allergies. I believe the "bullies" haven't been educated by their parents. Sour parenting is what I blame that on. They should be punished and made fully aware that a food allergy could cause serious problems...even death. I hate to know that our kids will be treated as "different" b/c of a peanut allergy.
No matter who it is that I meet, I teach them about Kaleigh and food allergies. I believe in educating others who don't deal with the stuff we do. Most people have no idea.
Make sure that the kids and their parents are made fully aware of peanut allergies. Get a letter typed up and sent out to everyone. Let them know you will NOT tollerate that behavior. This day in age...everyone needs to be aware.
Yes, I will be "that" crazy parent when the time come.
I am so sorry she had to put up with that. Someone from the school better call me no matter the time if that happens to my little one. I will make sure she is fed. I can't believe she had to skip lunch!!
Good luck on whatever you decide to do. Just know....us F/A parents have your back 100%!!!!

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