dating someone with a peanut allergy

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My teenage daughter is going with a very nice young man who has a peanut allergy. She is being very careful not to eat anything containing nuts or nut products if she will be seeing him later in the day. How much precautions should she be taking? She nearly scrubbed her hands raw when discovering that her hand lotion contained almond oil and she brushes her teeth vigoriously if she suspects she has eaten anything with peanuts in it. I have learned not to take offense when he refuses my offer of snacks but I would like to have items that he can eat available to offer. I have made a point of discretely cleaning the glasses, plate or silverware that he will be using if he does eat over. I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks!

On Apr 20, 2002

Hi Bonnie,

First I want to say that you deserve a BIG HUG for going out of your way to investigate what is safe for your daughter's boy-friend. You must be a really great person, and believe me if you don't live with this allergy or live with someone that you love that has this allergy....people like you are hard to come by.

Safe foods. You have to ask him what he likes first. It depends if your looking for snacks or having him over for dinner. I would call his Mom and talk to her but if you don't feel comfortable doing that, when you find out what he likes just buy them and have them on hand. Label reading and phone calls are what you should do, but Labelling products is not law, so there are certain Manufacturer's who do label and we eat their foods if we are happy with their manufacturing processes, like they have dedicated lines for their non-peanut products. Go to Manufacturer's food safe/Unsafe section and read up on some foods there.

Go to Adults living with PA section and Post your question their as well because they will be able to a great deal.

Good Luck and Thanks from all of us for showing some great consideration to someone living with a Life Threatening Allergy.

P.S. Kissing can be deadly if someone has eaten Peanuts then kisses the allergic individual. Your daughter is going to have to give up Peanuts/Peanut Butter if she is going to see him with-in 24 hours of eating it. Brushing her teeth just doesn't get rid of it.

On Apr 20, 2002

Bonnie41 - I think it is great that you are taking such precautions for your daughter's boyfriend. I would ask him what kind of snacks he feels safe with and go from there. Most people differ somewhat on what they feel safe with and so that would be the best strategy. You can also ask him what his comfort level is about other items (such as lotions that may contain nut oils). I think it would probably be safest for your daughter to avoid these items to avoid the worry and risk. There is a thread somewhere on this board about lotion and soaps with nuts (search under shampoos or makeup I think) and they may give you more information. Good luck!

On Apr 21, 2002


Are you sure your daughter doesn't want to wait until my eight year old peanut allergic son grows up? [img][/img] She sounds like a wonderful girl, and you sound like the kind of mother-in-law I pray he will have!

By all means, check with him and his family (if he is OK with that). If you go to the Manufacturers section you will see that labels change constantly, so just because he eats something now doesn't mean that it will be OK next week. Likewise (for another example), don't assume that since regular Chips Ahoy are safe, that the minis are as well. We all read labels constantly, even for foods that we buy all the time.

I'm sending you a huge cyber pat-on-the-back for taking such care of this young man. I think he is very lucky to have you and your daughter in his life.