crying here. dd just dx this morning. how do you deal with this. i am overwhelmed.

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 3:18am
My2girls's picture
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really very very overwhelmed. she has twin sister and dr said to continue sister eating peanuts and not to change twin's diet-just the PA one....oh yeah, this is easy. NOT. she used to eat some stuff with PB but one day had a sandwich and eyes got red and swollen. benedryl worked fine. Nanny eats peanuts all thetime and touches dd...no hives....has eaten all things made by machines that process peanuts...no problem....

now? i have to have her NOT eat birthday cake at parties? NO COOKIES FROM BAKERY? NO GRANOLA BARS? ALL THESE THINGS SHE HAS EATEN HER WHOLE LIFE? SHE IS 4 (sorry for caps..oops)...has eaten all things for 4 years....how do you change an entire lifestyle?

i know you all do it, but this is new to me and i'm sitting here at work in tears.

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 3:29am
Lori Anne's picture
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Joined: 07/13/2005 - 09:00

My dd was diagnosed at age 4 also. I know it's hard. She was very upset about giving up some of her favorite things, but she remembers how sick she felt when she had a reaction (she was throwing up, said she felt a tickle in her throat, red splotches on face,etc.) When I told her she doesn't want to get sick from eating those foods, she understood.
We have some people on the boards who were diagnosed as adults! Imagine living to adulthood without the allergy and changing your habits then.
It can be done. I know it's all so overwhelming at first. Finding a comfort zone is the toughest part. You'll have to decide what is safest for your daughter's situation.
We always say that we'll find a way around it. If dd loses one food, then we find one that's safe and similar (or even better!) We celebrate when we find something safe. Search the boards for safe foods and recipes. There are ideas. Ask questions when you have them.
I'm sorry. I know it's hard to deal with this allergy. But you've found a great place for support and info.
((hugs))

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 3:36am
My2girls's picture
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thanks. but i have a question: what do you mean by comfort zone? maybe i will post thisa topic and see what people do allow a PA child to eat if it is mild PA....i'm so confused right now.

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 4:08am
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Joined: 05/28/2003 - 09:00

Welcome. I haven't posted in a while, but your post brought me out (and then I'll hibernate again), Good timing I guess.
Listen, read this, It will be long. Forgive the length, but please just read. Grab a cup of coffee, should you choose to.
In regards to peanut allergy and your child.
Listen. Your daughter has a life threatening peanut allergy. Read that again. LIFE threatening. Got that? Good.
Now, also remember, that your child needs to and CAN lead a normal life. Don't be afraid. OK. Be afraid if you want (it's part of hte 12 step program with dealing with food allergies) (FA's for short)
Grieve. Yes. Like a death in the family. But don't grieve too long. Because your family needs you, and you need to be there for THEM.
Kids go through life with a peanut allergy (PA) and live life to the fullest. ALL the time.
Don't pity your child because she can't have XYZ food. Pity sucks. Accept the allergy and move on. Acceptance is step 1.
Don't get handcuffed by fear. There are PLENTY of foods out there in the big world, that they can eat. So you don't get PB&J. Who cares. Suck it up, and make something else.
Yeah. Im being a bit harsh with words, because you NEED to HEAR it.
Dealing with a peanut allergy can be a challenge. But we have done it. Successfully.
Comfort Zone means 'what YOU are comfortable with'.
Meaning: Some PA families have a jar of PB in the house, for other kids, etc..
Some PA families do NOT.
It's THEIR comfort zone (comfort level)
Some parents give their kids Breyers Vanilla Ice Cream because that's what THEY are comfortable giving.
Some parents give everything under the sun, except for things that contain peanuts.
None of them, as far as I know (AFAIK), actually GIVE PB to them.
So you have a PA. What you need:
An epi pen. Ask the doc for a twin pack, which contains a trainer. Its a shot of epinephrine, to give to your child after the've accidentally ingested PB, and are turning blue, hives, vomitting, etc... and reacting.
This buys you time to call 911, and get an ambulance ride to the hospital.
And yes, this WILL happen to you. It happens to EVERYONE - at some point. You learn.
Epi pens save lives. They usually expire in 1 yr, and if you're lucky enough to not use it for the year, you get to practice by injecting an orange with it, to practice.
Without epi, your child will die after ingesting peanut.
Get a prescription (rx) for it. Now. Call your allergist. Demand it.
Medic Alert. The only way to go, for bracelets in my opinion (IMO). 4 yr old - sportsband. Website is listed previously, I think.
FAAN - Visit their website.
[url="http://www.foodallergy.org/"]http://www.foodallergy.org/[/url]
[url="http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org"]http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org[/url] - visit them too.
Now - your job, which you have now taken the first steps with, is to learn and read.
Read what other people do.
Read what products people buy.
Read how people live their lives quite normally (TYVM) (thank you very much)
Read Read and Read. Knowledge is power. (I forget who said that)
Life goes on. Your daughter (and daughter) are the same 4 yr old girls they were the day before you were diagnosed.
I'm sorry you are here reading this. But I'm glad you are reading this.
I hope I've helped you a little.
Jason
Caitlin 4-17-00 Allergic to Dairy, Egg, Wheat, Bananas, Grapes, Rye, Sesame, Beef, Garlic, Mustard, Onion, Peas and Avoiding Latex and all Nuts
Sara 2-13-98 NKA (Avoiding Nuts)
Meghan 2-28-03 NKA (Avoiding Nuts)
[url="http://community.webshots.com/user/jtolpin"]http://community.webshots.com/user/jtolpin[/url]
------------------
[b]* Beyond Obsessed * [/b]

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 4:12am
stitcher's picture
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Joined: 03/14/2007 - 09:00

No advice just hugs. FOlks here are great about supporting folks. Hang in this can be done.

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 4:13am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

I will try to define *comfort zone*.
Everyone has to decide just exactly what they are comfortable with.
Some people are comfortable with other people in the family eating peanuts -- some people are not.
Some people are only comfortable with food that says *peanut free*. Other's are comfortable with food processed in the same plant as peanuts, but on separate machinery. Other's are comfortable with food processed on the same equipment as long as it is thoroughly cleaned between runs.
********
Right now, you don't have a comfort zone. Nothing makes you feel comfortable. Every thing is scary because right now everything seems to have the potential to be a risk. In time that will change. You will decide what precautions are necessary to keep your daughter safe. But, right now, you are just starting on this long road. It probably looks like a mountain road going straight up. But, it's not. There are twists and turns -- and sometimes nice little places to stop and smell the roses too.
And, by the way, I'm one of those adults Lori Anne mentioned. I loved peanuts and ate them for nearly thirty years. Then, they decided to take revenge on me.
*********
One other thing I wanted to mention. Many people (myself included) consider a mild PA like being a little bit pregnant. Either your pa or your not. (But, that is a part of the comfort zone area. It doesn't mean I'm right and someone else is wrong.)

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 4:23am
Happymommy's picture
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Joined: 12/18/2006 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by My2girls:
[b]really very very overwhelmed. she has twin sister and dr said to continue sister eating peanuts and not to change twin's diet-just the PA one....oh yeah, this is easy. NOT. she used to eat some stuff with PB but one day had a sandwich and eyes got red and swollen. benedryl worked fine. Nanny eats peanuts all thetime and touches dd...no hives....has eaten all things made by machines that process peanuts...no problem....
now? i have to have her NOT eat birthday cake at parties? NO COOKIES FROM BAKERY? NO GRANOLA BARS? ALL THESE THINGS SHE HAS EATEN HER WHOLE LIFE? SHE IS 4 (sorry for caps..oops)...has eaten all things for 4 years....how do you change an entire lifestyle?
i know you all do it, but this is new to me and i'm sitting here at work in tears.[/b]
It is very very overwhelming. Sometimes I still get overwhelmed. I can share some things that we do that make our lives easier---My son was 4 when diagnosed as well (just prior to his 4th I believe). He had hives at 18moths when I gave PB. I called the doctor they said it didn't mean it was allergic just keep it away from him until he was 3yo. I think I should have gone to an allergist then and there, but they didn't suggest it, and I was young and didn't know anyone with food allergies. Then, when my son was 3.5yo, my husband gave him one of his peanut butter crackers (he wasn't thinkign, our son is so picky, he was just so happy he wanted something different) and he had a bad reaction.
Everyone's comfort level is different. Now I did change my other child's diet because our house is now entirely nut free--- so my younger son doesn't get pb, or anything with nuts He gets sunbutter sandwhiches (really just as good as PB)-- don't bother with soynut butter-- just not good. My PA son never liked Pb anyway, he's a grilled cheese man. My non peanut allergic child does eat bakery cake (my pa son does not--- I make him cupcakes--- which he could care less, face it homemade cupcakes taste better anyway--- they just like blowing the candles off the cake with the cool picture--so I still buy the cake and make cupcake for my son--with really cool sprinkles from Rebecca's nut-free-- I can find the addres if you want it, I forget right now). He brings his own cupcake to birthday parties and school, it really doesn't bother him, and he also didn't have to do this until he was 4yo, wasn't much of an adjustment. We do Breyers vanilla ice cream here only. We buy Philly swirl safe ice cream treats (that was an adjustment)-- My mom makes him oreo cookie ice cream by crushing oreos and putting it in his vanilla. Rita's custard/water ice is peanut free. PM me or email me if you want to talk about things we like that are safe. All of his candy comes from [url="http://www.vermontnutfree.com."]www.vermontnutfree.com.[/url] These are some things that made our life easier. Again I can give you my email if you feel like talking to someone who has been where you are. I hope I didn't overwhelm you more, but there are alot of ways to still make your lives safe but fun. I'm free to talk anytime just pm me, and let me know. Make sure you have a twin pack epipen and benadryl and bring them with you wherever you go (we also always have a cellphone---even if just walking down the street to the park) I think right now that's a basic for you to remember. epi, benadryl, cell. everything else will come soon.
It is really overwhelming, but you'll be ok. She'll be ok-- 4 is still really young, and she'll definitely adjust well.
[This message has been edited by Happymommy (edited May 01, 2007).]
[This message has been edited by Happymommy (edited May 01, 2007).]
[This message has been edited by Happymommy (edited May 01, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 4:54am
My2girls's picture
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Joined: 04/12/2007 - 09:00

thanks to everyone...a lot to digest at once. i have to take everything in...feel like hit with a truck. i appreciate the support!!! xoxox

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 6:07am
Greenlady's picture
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Joined: 06/30/2004 - 09:00

Hello! I'm so glad you found us. Believe me, it does get easier. You'll make it through this.
In fact, there are ways that being PA has had a positive impact on my son. I think he is much more sensitive and understanding of others' differences than most 8-year olds. He has learned to be assertive, and take care of himself.
And there's nothing like PA to help you learn who your real friends are.
As far as your non-PA child, one suggestion is to schedule "peanut dates" with one of her parents or other adult friends of the family when she can eat peanut foods outside the home, and clean up afterwards. (I'm assuming that the doctor recommended that she keep eating peanuts to help prevent her from developing PA).
Please take care, and when you're overwhelmed, feel free to take a break. There's a lot of great information here, but it can be overpowering sometimes, especially in areas there is no one "right" answer.

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 6:10am
Adele's picture
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Joined: 01/31/2005 - 09:00

Hello My2girls, I'm so sorry you have to join our club.
Read all you can (here, especially) and one day, you'll realize that you don't feel overwhelmed anymore.
I was diagnosed when I was 55 (two years ago) and even I have learned how to live without bakery cookies, etc. etc. And I'm an old dog that supposedly can't learn new tricks!
Good luck.
Keep us posted.
Adele

Posted on: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 6:13am
Peg541's picture
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Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

Hi, my son was diagnosed at age 4. He's 22 now and graduating from college in three weeks. He even spent a semester in Scotland. He does fine. It is not always easy but he did fine.
You will too. Read all you can, relax a bit and you'll be fine.
Good luck
Peg

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