55 posts / 0 new
Last post
Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 1:25pm
April in KC's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/28/2006 - 09:00

Whoops, you're totally right. Like I said, we switched for non-allergy reasons...sorry for any confusion. Still, wouldn't Silk be a better compromise in the classroom to "reduce the risk"?

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 1:33pm
NicoleinNH's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/21/2003 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] a caveat. I had a school use some very similiar language and rationale with me, explaining that my severely pa child [i]should be homeschooled[/i].
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited February 27, 2007).][/b]
And, Mommabear-what did you do? Make your own rules and ignore the school's or did you ADDRESS THE SCHOOL, as was my first suggestion with parents/students who need the rules to change or modify. I've also had it suggested that I should homeschool my peanut allergic child, but that is not the route I've chosen. I chose to address my concerns with the school. I didn't run around the school hanging up "Peanut Free Zone" signs and sending notices to the homes of the students with what I thought the rule should be...I addressed the school. Unlike, a parent who knowingly sends in a food product that is not permitted in a classroom. That parent has every right to question the school and get the rules changed, but until then she/he needs to respect what rules are in place (and not send milk for that brief snack).

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 2:18pm
Carefulmom's picture
Offline
Joined: 01/03/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by April in KC:
[b]Whoops, you're totally right. Like I said, we switched for non-allergy reasons...sorry for any confusion. Still, wouldn't Silk be a better compromise in the classroom to "reduce the risk"?[/b]
You`re right. I was forgetting that the child who would be drinking the Silk is not actually allergic to milk. Makes sense, and by the way, Silk chocolate soy milk tastes great.

Posted on: Wed, 02/28/2007 - 12:12am
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by NicoleinNH:
[b] And, Mommabear-what did you do? Make your own rules and ignore the school's or did you ADDRESS THE SCHOOL, as was my first suggestion with parents/students who need the rules to change or modify. I've also had it suggested that I should homeschool my peanut allergic child, but that is not the route I've chosen. I chose to address my concerns with the school. I didn't run around the school hanging up "Peanut Free Zone" signs and sending notices to the homes of the students with what I thought the rule should be...I addressed the school. Unlike, a parent who knowingly sends in a food product that is not permitted in a classroom. That parent has every right to question the school and get the rules changed, but until then she/he needs to respect what rules are in place (and not send milk for that brief snack).
[/b]
What did I do, you ask?
[i]I took my child home and homeschooled him for two years.[/i]
The statement cut me to the quick. Left me naked. [i]Terrified me.[/i]
I was crushed. It was the ultimate form of bullying. So............[i]a caveat[/i]. Don't become what you despise.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited February 28, 2007).]

Posted on: Wed, 02/28/2007 - 6:11am
NicoleinNH's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/21/2003 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] What did I do, you ask?
[i]I took my child home and homeschooled him for two years.[/i]
The statement cut me to the quick. Left me naked. [i]Terrified me.[/i]
I was crushed. It was the ultimate form of bullying. So............[i]a caveat[/i]. Don't become what you despise.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited February 28, 2007).][/b]
Not my intention, at all, Mommabear---just trying to say we all have to follow rules set by others whether we like them or not, so if the parent had a problem with not being allowed to send milk for a snack in a preschool room with an allergic child, then she should address the school. If the rules are so horrendous that she simply cannot follow them, then yes, I do think she should seek an alternative.
Sounds likes that is what you decided to do. My comment shouldn't have "cut you to the quick" or "terrified" you; there is nothing scary about saying follow the rules, find a way to change the rules, or find a different setting. What is the other choice? Keep sending products into a class where it is forbidden? Send your children the message that the rules do not apply to them? From the posts I've read from you, it doesn't sound like disregarding the rules would be your style, either.
Flounder;s DD's school set the class up to be peanut-free, milk-free; not Flounder.

Posted on: Wed, 02/28/2007 - 7:25am
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by NicoleinNH:
[b]
My comment shouldn't have "cut you to the quick" or "terrified" you; there is nothing scary about saying follow the rules, find a way to change the rules, or find a different setting. What is the other choice? Keep sending products into a class where it is forbidden? Send your children the message that the rules do not apply to them? From the posts I've read from you, it doesn't sound like disregarding the rules would be your style, either.
[/b]
your missing my point, the "rules", the way of doing things, weren't about to bend, adjust, or [i]accommodate[/i] my child's needs. Sending my child into an environment where the decision making, supposed leadership would tell me that, *was terrifying*. At least terrifying to send my child there. And hey, soooooooo dissapointing. It always is when the supposed "experts" come up with turdy statements like that.
I'm a "rule oriented" person, and believe you me, I know better than anyone how [i]stupid[/i] following a rule because it's a [i]rule[/i] can be. My line of work is intriguing to me, because it causes one to think [i]critically[/i], which was, at first, [i]a novel idea[/i] to me.
Rules, like anything else that requires interpretation, common sense and some bit of gray matter, should allow for critical thinking, times when the rules should bend, [i]or be re-evaluated[/i].
A doctor writes an order. A [i]rule[/i], a [i]guideline[/i] (can we say that word here? --lol) for a certain set of conditions. But, hey, conditions change, and therefore, so might the rules need to. A smart cookie will call the doctor, give an update, collaberate, and take orders for a new rule. Not just blindly follow the last set of orders.
I'm thinking both parents should collaberate with the school (translate, bring their concerns forward in a non-confrontational, non-accusatory manner) and work something out. Both sides *need* something, not just one. A rule should be devised that meets both needs. That's how *good* rules operate.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited February 28, 2007).]

Posted on: Wed, 02/28/2007 - 7:29am
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by NicoleinNH:
[b] Flounder;s DD's school set the class up to be peanut-free, milk-free; not Flounder.[/b]
sounds like the rule is only meeting select individual's needs. Maybe it needs re-evaluating.

Posted on: Wed, 02/28/2007 - 7:31am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

No-- I suspect that MB's point was just to say that such statements, [i](You should really just homeschool your child [b]if they are really so_______[/b])[/i] often strike us as parents as extremely [i]chilling.[/i] Frighteningly hostile.
If their attitude in [i]front of ME[/i] is 'That is [b]SO[/b] not my problem,' then what on earth will it be when I'm [i]NOT[/i] there to advocate for my child?? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] indeed.
I want to just clarify for MB, too, that my quote (cut short) went on to suggest just what she did. The boy is [i]probably not[/i] capable of understanding the cause and effect here. That the situation might well present an UNintentional hazard... no malice needed.
Flounder's clarification about the boy's behavior also helps me-- I realize that this was not what I was thinking about "taunting" at all... I was thinking about gleeful threatening behavior... clearly not what was happening. It is also good to hear that her daughter didn't interpret the behavior as threatening. It really does sound like fairly typical kid stuff. Gender and common genes aside. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
But the fact that the dairy product was there, in a "dairy-free" room remains. This of course assumes that this was, in fact, what was IN the bottle... you know, I seem to recall that children of this age are [i]not always known for the total accuracy... even veracity... of their statements.[/i] Particularly to their peers. KWIM?
Given Flounder's DD's reaction Hx and the age of the kids involved, AND the short time they are there.... I really have to agree that allowing dairy would be pretty foolhardy on the part of the school.
But hey-- maybe this other family would be willing to sign some kind of waiver assuming responsibility so as to be allowed an "exception?" More power to 'em in that case.
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited February 28, 2007).]

Posted on: Wed, 02/28/2007 - 8:36am
NicoleinNH's picture
Offline
Joined: 06/21/2003 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]No-- I suspect that MB's point was just to say that such statements, [i](You should really just homeschool your child [b]if they are really so_______[/b])[/i] often strike us as parents as extremely [i]chilling.[/i] Frighteningly hostile.
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited February 28, 2007).][/b]
I know that statement too well, regarding my own daughter. I'm sure most of us on this board have been given that suggestion. In the context I was writing, it is not quite the same. Not even close. Not when you consider this is a half day preschool program with a snack. I was pointing out the VARIETY of options: address the school, advocate changes, opt out. Rules should have "gray" areas, as Mommabear said, but in larger systems, that isn't always the case (such as schools). My son isn't allowed to bring a ball to school any longer because the 2nd graders (he's in 1st grade) had some problems with fighting over balls. That, to me, is a stupid rule in the sense that it doesn't apply to him or his entire grade, but I don't go ahead and send a ball in anyway. I don't call the school complaining that it is my child's right to bring a developmentally (and essential, IMO, as essential as milk at snack--it is perception and subjective) play object to school. Insisting that a child bring a milk product in for preschool snack in a "milk-free" room is ridiculous.
[This message has been edited by NicoleinNH (edited February 28, 2007).]

Posted on: Wed, 02/28/2007 - 9:01am
Flounder's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/02/2006 - 09:00

I apologize for not being clear (had some long days recently). I shouldn't have used the word taunted. Coming from a 4 year old who can be overdramatic at times it came off that way when I first heard about it. This boy definitely did not intend harm and he was not trying to scare her, I don't think he even makes the association that milk can be scary for her.
I had a friendly chat with the mom today. I explained that I am not out to control anyone or anything and suggested some of the alternative snack options. I also explained that I am all for finding a solution that works for everyone...one of the school's suggestions is that he can have his milk on the way out to recess instead of at the table where they all share materials (I shudder to think if there was a spill). I'm fine with that and so is she.
Once we talked a bit she pretty much did an about face and said she never realized that a milk allergy could be serious. She actually seems willing to try soy milk. The conversation ended on a positive note and I'm feeling much better about everything.

Pages

Peanut Free Store

More Articles

There are many reasons why you may want to substitute almond flour for wheat flour in recipes. Of course, if you have a...

Are you looking for peanut-free candies as a special treat for a child with...

Do you have a child with peanut allergies and an upcoming birthday? Perhaps you'd like to bake a...

Most nut butters provide all the same benefits: an easy sandwich spread, a great dip for veggies, a fun addition to a smoothie. But not...

Do you have a sweet tooth and more specifically a chocolate craving? Those with peanut allergies must...