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Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 7:56am
luvmyboys's picture
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Joined: 05/25/2006 - 09:00

Chandra, You are not alone! I don't support peanut bans either except where the child has a history of exquisite sensitivity. At this point that means my sons do not need a peanut free elementary school. But they do have a peanut/treenut free classroom and no snacks, birthdays included, are permitted. There are maybe half a dozen occasions where food it allowed in the classroom. I would PREFER they stopped serving PB&J in the cafeteria but I won't request it unless they show signs of a problem.
Anyhow, welcome back Flounder. My boys still ask about your family. It's the school's responsibility to address it with the other parent, not yours...but I can see why you would be tempted to work it out with the other parent on your own....it's silly though...one snack and liquid milk? No way...that has to be the riskiest allergen to have in the room especially with preschoolers. Good Luck!
Luvmyboys

Posted on: Mon, 02/26/2007 - 10:17pm
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

I'd suspect that food preference has some very similiar brain activity associated with it as that associate with sexuality. I mean, when talking about desire. I coul be wrong. I just don't think it's so easy to say that asking people [i]to give up[/i] a food [i]preference[/i] is as simple and such a no-brainer as it sounds. There's probably a lot of brain associated with it.
Kinda like when they talk about sexual preference.
I need some coffee.

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 12:12am
Greenlady's picture
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Joined: 06/30/2004 - 09:00

I think it's true that it is hard to change ingrained preferences. I personally have pretty strong taste preferences that include frozen chocolate chip cookie dough, and chocolate frosting eaten with a spoon from a can.
However, I can control my behavior. Well, most of the time. :-)
Food preferences, like sexual preferences, can been fulfilled at appropriate times and places.
[This message has been edited by Greenlady (edited February 27, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 1:33am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Greenlady:
[b]Food preferences, like sexual preferences, can been fulfilled at appropriate times and places.[/b]
Exactly.

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 1:39am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Flounder:
[b]But today put chocolate milk in a water bottle and her son taunted my daughter about it.[/b]
Is there any justification for this?

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 2:39am
NicoleinNH's picture
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Joined: 06/21/2003 - 09:00

pink
[This message has been edited by NicoleinNH (edited June 09, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 3:00am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

I can understand, as I read MommaBear to be pointing out, that there are some food textures, smells, appearances, etc. that are outright repulsive to some people. They have no control over it. And it severely limits their diet. I understand that to be the point. That this 'preference' (or "orientation" or whatever we call it) is a real, bonefide medical issue.
But regardless, these can be met under appropriate times and places.
[This message has been edited by Gail W (edited February 27, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 5:14am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Greenlady:
[b]
Food preferences, like sexual preferences, can been fulfilled at appropriate times and places.
[/b]
Ah yes, but I dare say you couldn't say that if children were being introduced to sex before maturity. When I was a child, I spake as a child...
WHOOPS. Whaddya know. Looks like children ARE being introduced to sex long before they are capable of handling the responsibility and just look what happens. Anarchy.
Maybe milk should be an "over 18" only product. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] (just kidding)
But looks like some of us assume all chilren have a mature sense of judgment. Big news, people, [i]it's normal for children to be ego centric[/i]. I'm afraid for children, for whatever reason, that [i]aren't[/i]. I could be wrong, but I think: [i]Big Red Flag[/i].
So, therefore, we shouldn't be passing judgement on a child who likes his chocolate milk. Address the bullying issue and leave it at that. Save the judgement. People who teased me to the point that I almost starved myself to death, actually, in some cases, grew up and matured into some very thoughtful adults. Yeah, there were a few who actually met with bad ends due to their destructive behaviors, but so did a few of the more angelic people I knew during my school career.
I always cringe when I see a lynching in progress, particularly when we are speaking about a young [i]child[/i]. It's easy to get caught up in it, particularly when emotional topics are discussed, but please, people, provide guideance, don't toss the baby out with the bath water.
I've been seeing this quote quite often, but probably very true:
[i]"Be the change you wish to see".[/i]
The most honest form of compassion is that bestowed upon the most unlikely recipient. It's [i]easy[/i] to show compassion to people that you agree with. People who bend over backwards for you. People who you get along with.
[i]So what[/i], I say, to that kind of compassion.
That mother is probably a very likeable person, and maybe merely exhausted. More and more, I am finding it easy to sympathize with schools. At least when it comes to these types of power struggles.
No advice, just personal feelings.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited February 27, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 5:43am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by NicoleinNH:
[b] I think there is a huge difference in sexual preference--most who live their lives with the same gender prefer sexual "orientation"--not "preference". Asking someone to make a complete life style change would be difficult, yes. Asking someone to substitute a food once a day for a snack while in a classroom with multiple issues---it is a no brainer. What is particularly ridiculous in this situation is that the mother of the other child insists that certain foods not be in the classroom, but Flounder's DD is not entitled to the same safety measures (???). Again, we're talking SNACK, ONCE A DAY, not a life style change, Mommabear. My son desires Sprite and he is allowed to have it on special occasions, but we cannot send it in to school---no soda allowed---no matter what the desire or preference may be.
Nicole[/b]
Your missing my point. We do ourselves a huge disservice when we ignore the very primitive nature of food preferences, orientation, whatever label you want to slap on it.
Try to force people to your way of thinking, your needs, and justify it under an (air quotes) "ethics/compassion" agenda and don't be surprised if they bare their teeth.
Complaining people just aren't as "compassionate" as we are or passing judgement on their children/comparing their moral ethical compass to our own children's probably isn't the solution. You know, tooting our own horns.

Posted on: Tue, 02/27/2007 - 5:45am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

I see your point, MB... and I don't disagree.
BUT-- this other parent deliberately placed a forbidden item into a container (to disguise it?) [i]and sent it into the classroom.[/i] I don't see any other explanation for how it got there-- assuming that this 3-4 yo child probably didn't do it himself. Hardly a "thoughtless" moment, either... not like accidentally grabbing the wrong prepackaged snack. KWIM?
As far as the taunting goes, it probably [i]is[/i] just a case of typical preschool social skills, but to a child that is highly contact sensitive, it must really have been a terrifying experience.
The other child must either understand why what he did was truly awful-- if he cannot do that (and developmentally, maybe he can't), then there is certainly (IMO) no room to compromise about allowing dairy products into the room in his possession. He might not "mean" any harm to Flounder's DD, but I can see how it could come to that anyway, regardless of his 'intent.'
As I said, [i]the school had an enforcement problem, and also had a bullying problem.[/i] The school should deal with them appropriately.

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