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Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 12:42pm
synthia's picture
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Joined: 10/05/2002 - 09:00

Well put erik.
I agree
Love this site
Synthia

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 1:11pm
JudyH's picture
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Joined: 03/07/2002 - 09:00

erik, Kim M, and LilMansMom . . . I see where you're all coming from and get your point.
MommaBear . . . I think your last post was to me, call me dense, but I didn't get it.
That's it for me on this topic. This is not why I come to this site. Much of the information I've gotten here has been invaluable and I'm glad you all take the time to post it.

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 2:41pm
Jana R's picture
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Joined: 02/09/1999 - 09:00

Just wanted to link the article river posted about college students in Media here:
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum8/HTML/000391.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum8/HTML/000391.html[/url]
and link some college living posts in Adults with PA forum:
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum24/HTML/000002.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum24/HTML/000002.html[/url]
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum24/HTML/000031.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum24/HTML/000031.html[/url]
and main discussion board and college students:
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum1/HTML/001955.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum1/HTML/001955.html[/url]
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum1/HTML/001954.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum1/HTML/001954.html[/url]
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum1/HTML/001977.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum1/HTML/001977.html[/url]
[This message has been edited by Jana R (edited January 06, 2003).]

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 3:27pm
LisaMcDowell's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2002 - 09:00

Hi,
Actually my implication was not about being a bad parent, it was about "denial". Enough said.
I should have clarified my meaning of raising my child as I do...I meant that she is being taught to eventually take full responsibility of her PA by young adulthood.
I like using the "we" thing because it provides strength to the issue, however, I've already begung practicing the use of "I". After I skimmed a few of these posts, I learned one valuable reason that people I have talked with are afraid of PA/FA parents & their child...sorry, I was just typing out loud.
Have a good one!

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 3:36pm
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Jana,
Good links and interesting reading. I couldn't help but think about one of the links pointing out health concerns being low on the priority list for the college crowd. LOL. My college days are not that far in my past and despite the fact I was considered very intellegent by others and was a child who NEVER got into trouble, I vividly remember weekends starting at noon thursday and ending just before your monday morning lecture. I think the word "Orgy" adequately describes many a college student's attitude towards alcohol. (Luckily, I could never tolerate more than two beers-----room spins) Who needs to fear a peanut allergy when there are teens jacked up on a fifth of who knows what behind the wheel, or worse yet in your daughter or son's dorm??? I think once again, as parents, we cannot, with clear conscience, depend on them to always make the right choices. My oh My. I've seen what happens when children are allowed to make entirely their own decisions without input from a loving parent. To this day, I still seek my mother's advice. I'm 35. She still looks out for me. I still need her and always will. And I love needing her. As adults we need to realize no man is an island, (for lack of better expression), and God gave us each other for a reason. Especially parents.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited January 07, 2003).]

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 8:16pm
Claire's picture
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Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

Lisa You are entitled to your opinion. I want to let you all know I let chris read the post and then asked him for an opinion about the way I have raised him. He says that he feels I have shown him how much I love him. He also said WOW that girl likes to be right all the time. With enough said I will not respond to this issue.
I have 2 children with no food allergies and the day they go off I will not handle it any better than when Chris goes off. Not because they can not handle it,but because I love them so much I can not imagine me without them at my feet. Take care claire

Posted on: Mon, 01/06/2003 - 12:32am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

erik, well, don't you just feel kinda sh** on right now? Your last post recognized what Lisa had posted in such a great way and then, what happened? She managed to come in again and basicallly attack your post and the rest of us again.
I don't know why anyone would think that they could speak on behalf of ALL PA parents to begin with or why they would even try to. Why are PA parents any different than any other parent? For example, I wouldn't go out and having speaking seminars about my way of parenting and say that ALL of the things that I did were what ALL parents did. So, how can one have a PA seminar and say that I, as a PA parent do this and so do ALL PA parents.
We know that life doesn't work that way and PA doesn't work that way. I can well understand why someone, in the beginning, may think that all PA parents deal with the allergy the same, but we do learn along the way that each of us has our own "comfort zones" and I have to say that most of all, our comfort zones, for whatever reason, have always been respected on this website.
I just went through all of the posts since the last one I made and I really see how people have tried to calm the thread down and questioned what has been going on. And, like you erik, responding really well to Lisa's second last post only to basically get it crammed down your throat with a heckuva lot of sarcasm and nastiness attached to it.
I wouldn't bother. erik, you, in particular, are currently needed in Take Action, Deb O.'s thread re the Canadian Disability Tax Credit, whether you *want* to be wanted there or not.
That's another thing I recognized. Deb O. had posted that she had been too busy with the tax credit thread to enter into this one earlier. I recognized that aside from this thread and the tax credit thread, I had really been unable to move around the board anywhere else all week-end because I was basically paralyzed by being in this one.
Again, I could dissect all of Lisa's posts (and they do seem to be getting nastier and nastier) but I'm not going to.
I'm just wondering. Has anyone tried to contact the woman via e-mail? Does she answer? I know that I have contacted Peg and that she has answered me (very kindly) and that I will continue any discussion with Peg re this particular topic off-the-board.
I do have to point out this though. I can't see where Peg has done anything wrong in her parenting of her son Paul.
How could ANYONE on this board have the nerve to say that they are livid about how another child was raised? Why? What is there to be livid about? I don't understand that. Even if I disagree with another PA parent's "comfort zone", which I actually very rarely do, I don't get LIVID and I certainly don't even let it upset me. If I really want to know why their comfort zone is different than mine, I simply ask. And I ask nicely.
What I think I see is the parent of a 5 year old child who was scared, stressed, and overwhelmed when she entered this thread. When I saw the title, as I said, I didn't come into the thread because I know I don't have any advice to offer Peg. I can certainly say that I look forward to seeing the advice she receives, but I can't help her.
If you look at Lisa's posts, you'll see that something kinda snapped and she said that people shouldn't post these questions that scare or stress parents of younger PA children.
What the he** does that mean anyway, except perhaps that you are scared by what Peg posted? And you know what? If you were, that's okay.
When you first become a member here, even if you have been dealing with PA for awhile, you do get scared, overwhelmed and stressed. Why? Because you're reading about other people's comfort zones and you're thinking OMG, I do everything wrong. Then, you realize that you don't. And you realize that you may have something to offer to the discussion or you may have a question to ask.
Lisa, as far as where to direct Peg on the board with her question - what's up with that? I could spend half my day here telling people where they *should* place their posts.
Peg placed it under Introductions because she was DUH introducing herself and asking the question she wanted to ask.
Yes, she certainly could have double posted it under Adults Living with PA but you know what? That's a forum I've never been into as a member here. Never. Never read one post there. Why? Because I'm not an Adult Living with PA. If I were going to direct Peg elsewhere, which I wouldn't, I would have said Living with PA. As you can see, there are a lot of Adults with PA that chose to post regardless in the other forums.
Nope, spent enough time on this one. Everyone, I personally want to tell Lisa to bug right off in worse language than that right now for the terrible things that she has said about us as a community. When you go to respond to yet her latest post (which needs some response, obviously), think about how much time you have to-day to use on the computer, how much time you meant to spent at PA.com to-day and how much of that will be taken up by posting in response to her. Your post is just going to eventually get shot to sh** as erik's did, so seriously, ask yourself that (fine from a woman who just spent half hour here typing rather than touring the board [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img] )
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------

Posted on: Mon, 01/06/2003 - 12:46am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

True to good ole matrydom form, it was me that contacted another member off-the-board to see if they could help Lisa out with her Girl Guides (or Scouts) dilemma. I actually posted a response in her thread and then contacted a dear friend of mine off-the-board to also help her out (which she did). OMG.
I just wasn't sure because there are a few Girl Guides' threads running right now and because I have a guy, instead of a gal, I don't tend to read them. But, I must have been doing my usual tour of the board that night and went into Lisa's thread and my soul, tried to get her even more help than what she has received in the thread to-date.
So, at least the joke is on me as well - more time spent, more time spent. On what? To turn around and get dumped on in this thread after yes, being extremely compassionate and caring in *her* thread. And to whatever newcomer Lisa posted that she did not get responses, that's absolute b/s. Actually, had the post been posted under Living with PA rather than Main Discussion, perhaps it would have received more attention, but it actually did pretty darned good, so I'm not clear what she's saying about no responses. Not true.
Yup, taken again. Typical me, eh, Momma Bear [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------

Posted on: Mon, 01/06/2003 - 1:54am
sport's picture
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Joined: 10/01/2002 - 09:00

I hate to see this happening again. I quit posting for this very reason, but still come and lurk from time to time. I have learned a lot from this site, but I do resent the way all teachers and schools are most often labeled. I think everyone is entitled to their opinion and should not be haughty about it. However, some people may appear to be haughty simply replying to some statement that has hurt them or made them mad. Anyway, I hate to see this thread and I hope it is resolved. I would hate for someone else to have to quit posting the way I did. On a brighter note, I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe year!!

Posted on: Mon, 01/06/2003 - 2:07am
erik's picture
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Joined: 05/15/2001 - 09:00

Sport,
I am sorry I don't have much time to really do any postings until tonight (I am at work now) but just wished that you had not stopped posting as I am sure you have valuable information that would benefit many of us here at PA.COM
I hope you will re-consider and begin posting again, as you may have questions thta someone could assist you with, or you could post information/experiences that would assist all of us.
Wishing you a happy new year too. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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