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Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 6:38am
river's picture
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Joined: 07/15/1999 - 09:00

This thread is not really about opinions but is ultimately about some very serious political issues that revolve around the peanut allery condition. I just burned when I first read Lisa's post because I knew right then that she was very much into FAAN and their philosophy----and it is philosophy---NOT medical advice. Lisa represents everything the Amercan Peanut Industry has paid for over the years. Her attitude has been crafted to be profit-friendly. If nobody is paying her to do this, I feel sorry for Lisa. She's just an ignorant pawn in somebody else's game.

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 6:39am
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Joined: 03/07/2002 - 09:00

I haven't been here even a year yet, and I don't post much, but gosh what a thread. You all are mad that Lisa said things to Peg that you didn't like, so why is it okay that you can turn around and do the same to her? When I read the posts that say you are interested in differences of opinion, I now question that. My daughter is under two and I don't know where where going with this allergy, but I read here just to see what some others do. When I read posts like Lisa'a I am very interested because her view is so different than many of yours. Is it better or worse? Who am I to say I've only been dealing with this for less than a year. But I do know that you are all inflamed that she used a "nasty" tone. Looking back on the last number of posts, so did you. And why is that okay?

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 7:00am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

YaHey.
I'll be the first to admit it. Yup. My tone was downright unpleasant and possibly unsettling. Maybe even sinister. ooooooooooooooooooo. I like that word. There. The secret is out! Anyone else? Or am I the only "Martyr" here? There's room for more in my personal "Pity Party"! BTW, you guys may not want to associate with me since I'm one of those freekishly controlling mothers obsessed with nothing less than obtaining absolute assurance my children will outlive me. Oh, yes, B E W A R E !!!!!!!! Rowrrrrrrrrr.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited January 07, 2003).]

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 7:21am
cathlina's picture
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Joined: 06/29/2001 - 09:00

When I was attending a private university in 1978 (ancient), I was on a special medical diet. I met with the nutrition director and they had a special meal made up for me every time I ate.
I didn't have any trouble at all and they followed the diet directions.

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 7:21am
erik's picture
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Joined: 05/15/2001 - 09:00

JudyH,
If Lisa had written something like:
"I am sorry that my posts were seen as a personal attack on Peg's parenting skills. I was just trying to state that once you are 18 years old, my point of view is that the primary responsibility for PA should reside with the adult child rather than with the parent. We should try to prepare our children as best we can when they are young so once they enter the adult world they will be able to cope with PA even when we are not there to assist them. In no way did I mean to imply that Peg was a bad parent to her son"
I believe everything would have been fine had she written something like this. But by continuing to imply Peg was a bad mother and by telling us who should post/not post and where we should post/not post, things escalated.
You should feel free to post anything you want... I think you will find you will receive a lot of friendly and helpful advice.

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 7:24am
Kim M's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

Judy, I agree that a nasty tone doesn't justify a nasty tone in reply (although MommaBear is pretty darn funny). But we are upset at Lisa's tone, because that's not what this site is about, by and large. It's possible to express a different opinion without ridiculing. Here is how Lisa could have expressed her perfectly valid opinion:
Peg, have you raised your son to be responsible for his PA? Have you taught him to read labels, ask questions, never make assumptions that something is safe? If so, then you have done your job as a parent and maybe it's time to let him go and see that you have done a good job. Good luck.
Different opinions are important, but treating people with respect is just as, if not more, important.
[This message has been edited by Kim M (edited January 05, 2003).]
[This message has been edited by Kim M (edited January 05, 2003).]

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 8:22am
LilMansMom's picture
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Joined: 03/14/2002 - 09:00

I am on a time limit here, but couldn't resist dropping in for just a moment...I just love the edit feature here...I see now that I am going to have more time than I originally thought, so I will try to make this a more coherent thought.
Most of you know that I feel that when we continue to respond to these hateful people (read this Lisa) that we are losing sight of the original issue, but I see that here Peg's question is far from lost! YEAY to all those standing up for her!!
I don't think that as a parent is too much for you to go to the school and discuss with them the provisions that are open to your son. I don't read your posts as you are expecting them to be responsible for him, but that you are asking questions, educating you both, and discussing the options open to him in order for him to make responsible decisions regarding his own safety. There is a certain respect that an older adult will get that an 18 year old will not. Even at 20 with a daughter of my own I wasn

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 8:50am
synthia's picture
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Joined: 10/05/2002 - 09:00

MommaBear
That was a realy good link.
Thank you
Love this site
Synthia

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 9:12am
LisaMcDowell's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2002 - 09:00

Hi Erik,
Yes, you're right, tactfulness is always best if there is time to blow. I still believe that Paul is to whom help needs to be directed to.
Newcomer, ('m sorry I forgot your name) I never received any replies to my questions, I hope you get yours.
Anger & controversy are good, they get people thinking & hopefully motivate solutions, enlightenment, & maybe to eventually think about Paul entering the world. I can't tell you how much I think & pray for this young man that he won't get eaten by the wolves alive.
My concern now is that in my PA Awarenss Presentation I will now have to leave out my comment that all parents of PA children raise their child as I do. I'm very concerned that it could jeopardize the entire presentation by having questions asked that I am not prepared for or have any desire to answer. This is another reason I was so livid. I just felt that all my crusading for PA Awareness has been in vain.
I wanted awareness for every person w/PA & other food allergies, now my focus will have to be just about my daughter because I cannot mislead the public or speak for others.

Posted on: Sun, 01/05/2003 - 9:29am
erik's picture
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Joined: 05/15/2001 - 09:00

Lisa,
Yes, I think the comment "all parents of PA children raise their child as I do" will not work. Everyone raises their children in the way that they feel is best in their individual situation, and by implying that someone else is a bad parent by not raising their child in the way you recommend will just cause the overall message of the presentation to be lost. Everyone does things in their own way, and we can suggest what we may think is a better way and the message will have much more of an impact if there is no personal attack against the person.
For example, some people let "may contain peanut" products in the classroom, some don't... we may disagree with one or the other but we don't say either are bad parents.
Maybe we can end all the attacks now and just be a happy family again. We can disagree and argue, but let's try to stop any personal attacks. I think we can accomplish much more that way.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by erik (edited January 05, 2003).]

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