\"But what will they do out in the real world\"?

Posted on: Wed, 09/01/2004 - 12:45am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

This is a question I've seen asked by schools on numerous occasions when parents request accomodations. It's the rationale behind FAAN's stance that bans "create a false sense of security". Our children must learn to survive in a world full of peanuts and nuts and whatever else they are allergic to, and the only way they will learn is to be exposed to danger daily so they can learn to avoid it.

Nuts, I say.

Out "in the real world", our children have US protecting them, reading labels and calling companies, posting long lists of safe and unsafe foods, and sharing our experiences. As they grow older, we will impart this knowledge to them and entrust them more and more with their own safety. Until that day comes, we avoid restaurants that have buckets of peanuts on the tables, avoid the open bins of nuts in the produce aisle, and move away from the kids eating pb&j on the playground. We teach them how to avoid their allergens in order to stay safe, not teach them how to stay safe by exposing them to their allergens.

And then we are supposed to willingly send them, on a daily basis, into a room of children eating pb?

Out "in the real world", our kids aren't going to find themselves sitting in a room full of other children eating PB, because they would know to avoid that kind of dangerous situation. But since the school is really a kind of artificial situation in which the danger is "condensed", so to speak, us parents have to request accomodations to keep our children safe.

I've been trying to get an image out of my head...another common comment I've heard is "why not ban recess since some kids are allergic to bees?" Well, yes, there is some danger of bee stings on the playground, just as there is some danger of being struck by a car while crossing the street or of catching the flu from being in a crowded public place.

However, in order to compare a bee sting allergy to a food allergy, you would have to imagine that the bee allergic child is in a closed room full of bees buzzing around. Perhaps he/she isn't truly in any danger as long as they sit still and don't touch anything, but can you imagine the emotional trauma? I'm not allergic to bees, but I am afraid of them, and the thought of being in a room full of them makes me nauseous. Imagine how our kids feel when surrounded by pb sandwiches and crackers.

You know, I think that's the part that gets overlooked way too often, is that requesting a pb and nut free classroom is not just for the physical health but also for the psychological health of our kids. Why should they be forced into a situation that scares them every day? Is that really teaching them how to manage their allergies?

As my son grows older he will grow less afraid because he'll feel more in control. My main concern is that he never grows less cautious. But while he is in first grade, and probably second and third, I want him in an environment where he can focus on learning and not on how to stay safe while surrounded.

Thanks for listening....just prepping for my first meeting with the teacher later this week.

Lori

Posted on: Wed, 09/01/2004 - 1:23am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Munchkin's Mom, great preparation! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 09/01/2004 - 7:25am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Munchkin's Mom,
I thought that was a really great post.
(Gee, I didn't know we were in a fake world.)

Posted on: Wed, 09/01/2004 - 2:01pm
doreen's picture
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Joined: 06/23/2001 - 09:00

I'm printing this -- well said.

Posted on: Wed, 09/01/2004 - 2:10pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Munchkin's Mom, again, I can't tell you how wonderful your post was! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
I think I live in the *real* world and jeez, we have a peanut/tree nut free home and none of the members of our family eat any of the products. We manage to go out and about in what I think is the *real* world and I do think that we manage just fine, thank-you very much.
I have a lot more that I wanted to say about specifics of your post, but will try to address tomorrow when allergy eyes are gone and I can actually see my screen.
ryan's mom, that is SO true, I didn't know we lived in the "fake" world either.
Just simply wonderful - right up there with MKRuby's Mission Statement and vic's post under Living with PA (I forget the title at this hour).
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 09/01/2004 - 4:18pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Oh, but I do have to repeat a comment I had from a SK teacher when Jesse was in SK (not his teacher). He said that we lived in our own little peanut/nut free sub-culture. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 09/01/2004 - 4:26pm
ElleMo's picture
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Joined: 06/19/2003 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Munchkin's Mom:
[b]This is a question I've seen asked by schools on numerous occasions when parents request accomodations. [/b]
Great answer. My DD is just starting preschool but I have already got into discussions with people regarding this. My personal response when discussing this has been to ask the age of the peron's child. & when I find out would you let your child do [some extremely age-inappropriate activity, like a 2 yo crossing the street or a 10 yo driving]

Posted on: Wed, 09/01/2004 - 9:16pm
Claire's picture
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Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

I hate it when people make the "real world"comment. In my opinion the real world is what we live in from the day of birth. Each part of the real world have different stages of life.
I would think the first part of that world with a child is to parent and protect them as we as moms have to do.
The next part would be that teenage year where they start to make their own decisions with our guidance.
And the next part of the world would be adulthood where hopefully we have kept them safe and they know how to handle themselves.
So therefore if they have sat in a room with PB as a child because we didn't teach them not to then obviously they are going to when they reach the last step.
Some people just expect children to be all grown up from birth.
I hope This makes sence to you because that is how I see the "real world".
Munchkinsmom, good luck to you and your school year. Claire

Posted on: Wed, 09/01/2004 - 10:06pm
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Alternative to Mainstream:
[b]Oh, but I do have to repeat a comment I had from a SK teacher when Jesse was in SK (not his teacher). He said that we lived in our own little peanut/nut free sub-culture. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img]
[/b]
Like I said in another post..............[i]I'll create any bubbles my cubs *need*. And I won't be squeemish about it. [/i]

Posted on: Wed, 09/01/2004 - 10:10pm
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Claire:
[b]I hate it when people make the "real world"comment. In my opinion the real world is what we live in from the day of birth. Each part of the real world have different stages of life.
I would think the first part of that world with a child is to parent and protect them as we as moms have to do.
[/b]
Piaget's Hierarchy of Needs?: [b]"Safety"?[/b]
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
I mean, [i]the concept *was* in my Child Development Course[/i]. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 09/02/2004 - 1:44am
California Mom's picture
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Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Good analogy, MommaBear, but I think it was Maslow. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Miriam

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