Birthday Party Question

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 3:16am
BS312's picture
Joined: 09/05/2001 - 09:00

DD,5, has been invited to her first birthday party - at a bowling alley. The birthday girl is a classmate at our peanut-free school. I am acquainted with the mom but do not know her well. Would you ask her to keep the party peanut-free, or should we just bring our own food and take our chances? Even if the party were peanut-free, DD would not eat any of the food provided. I plan to be there the whole time. Thanks.

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 3:55am
esmom's picture
Joined: 07/25/2001 - 09:00

What I have done with Birthday parties is, I ask about the food (to get a feel for things, people figure out why your asking)
then I bring cake that is the same color frosting and cake that will be at the party( have the mother put it on the same birthday plate as the other kids)I have been able to figure out the food thing in ( so she does not stick out) I would bring pizza she can eat or something...
[This message has been edited by esmom (edited January 10, 2003).]

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 4:12am
samirosenjacken's picture
Joined: 09/30/2002 - 09:00

We have gone through this a few times now and I cannot tell you how WONDERFUL people can be!! These parents have truly restored my faith in mankind! Marianna just went to her first party where I left her! When I called the mom to discuss the food and cake, she was all ready. She promised no peanut food at all. She read me all the ingredients of what she was serving. She asked where it was safe to get pizza from so my daughter could have it to. She was very very accomodating! I left her with the epi pen, instructions, benadryl etc.. it was fabulous!
My suggestion is to give parents the benefit of the doubt. Call them! Tell them about the allergy. Ask about the food etc... If you don't feel they are willing to make the food safe then by all means either don't send her or bring your own food. I think you will be amazingly suprised about how people react to this! Good luck!

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 4:14am
smack's picture
Joined: 11/14/2001 - 09:00

My son went to one last year and I just called the bowling alley to ask what foods they have and if they are allergy aware.
They were, I even went into asking about the oil finish on the alley's(making sure it wasn't peanut oil)and it wasn't.
I sent a safe piece of cake because the cake even though it didn't have peanuts/nuts it wasn't guaranteed.
They ate hot dogs and chips(Doritoes)and everything was fine.
Good Luck!

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 4:23am
kelly01's picture
Joined: 03/19/2001 - 09:00

Hi BS312: My son is in kindergarten this year and this is how I handle it. I always call the hosts first, explain that he has a severe peanut allergy and get a feel for the food. My attitude with the parents is always that I don't want them to make any accomodations for my son, and only that I want to make sure to send him with "safe" food in case there is something at the party he can't have.
I generally call at least a week or two before the party. I explain to the parents that I understand that they probably don't know what they are serving yet...but I would like to give them a heads up that I would want to touch base with them a day or two before the party. In most cases, this has resulted in parents choosing "safe" foods anyways.
In this case, since the party is at the bowling alley, I would probably give the bowling alley a call too.
Hope everything goes well! I find that it is getting easier as we go along!

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 5:40am
California Mom's picture
Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

We had a bowling party nightmare which I wrote about some time ago. I will try to find it and re-raise it. Miriam

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 6:15am
California Mom's picture
Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Found it! I've re-raised it. It's under "living with pa".

Posted on: Sat, 01/11/2003 - 12:40am
California Mom's picture
Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Gosh, I didn't mean to "kill" this thread by bringing up my other thread. Just wanted you to know that the very real concern of kids eating pb stuff while they are actually bowling is a scary one that I had not even thought of before the party my dd went to. I hope that would not be an issue at your daughter's party, however. Good luck! p.s. I guess if you really want to be cautious you could wipe down the balls in the lane your daughter will use. (This is not something I would likely do, but in case your daughter is touch sensitive you may want to, just in case.)

Posted on: Sat, 01/11/2003 - 12:49am
DebO's picture
Joined: 03/15/1999 - 09:00

Just my 2 cents worth
My daughter has reacted to touch before, but has never reacted at the bowling alley. My son has had his party there 3 years running and we go bowling frequently (of course we have no smoking legislation here which makes it much more pleasant!!)
I find with most BD parties it depends on your child. My son is allergic to eggs, nuts and sesame and when it is "our"party I make my own cake. When it is someone else's he doesn't eat the cake (he is not that keen on cake anyway). with regards to other food, I speak to the venue first and then decide. Our bowling alley does not serve PB sandwiches or anything like that and at the party the kids get hotdogs and gatorade. This is well within my personal comfort zone (I buy them the hotdogs there when we go bowling ourselves!) and this seems to be the food served at most parties in this area. I would say that 90% of the time I allow my son or his PA sister to eat the food at these sorts or parties. I am much more cautious with parties at people's houses because that is where I personally expect to find more risk of cross contamination.
good luck

Posted on: Tue, 03/21/2006 - 10:56am
gvmom's picture
Joined: 08/24/2005 - 09:00

Tough call. I think it all depends on how invested you are in going back to the birthday boy's house. Most likely, what we would do, is just go to the bowling part. If that is going to be a couple hours with the kids hanging out, bowling and having fun, I would figure that my guys would be covered. Do the kids know the details yet? I'm wondering if they might even be fine with the one part, and missing the food part at the home.

Posted on: Tue, 03/21/2006 - 12:04pm
momma2boys's picture
Joined: 03/14/2003 - 09:00

Have you told Jesse about the food? How does he feel about going? I know he has had some anxiety in the past about being around peanuts, so if he is going to be uncomfortable, then I would thank them but pass on the home portion of the party.
If he really wants to go, well then I would probably try to find a way to make it work safely for him to go. He has had a rough month and it would be good for him to go have some fun.
If it works out that you can't go, at least they are doing part at the bowling alley so they won't miss the whole thing.
I would definitely give him some say in the matter.


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