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Posted on: Sat, 01/27/2007 - 5:07am
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

We try to go out weekly and use sitters. We feed the kids, have safe snacks, and epi-pen train the sitter. we have no unsafe food in the house, so it really isn't a big deal. If we leave ds at someone else's house, we provide food and his epi-pen/med kit. I know the parents whoses houses he goes to, and they take his allergies seriously. Also my son knows he cannot eat anything that we haven't approved of, so I am really lucky.
As my son has gotten older and wants to go to friends houses I have had to learn to loosen his leash so to speak, and make sure the people he will be with take his allergies seriously. It's not easy, my stomach is often in knots, but it is part of both his and my training in growing up with food allergies.
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mom to Ari(6) - severe nut allergies, asthma, you name it - and Maya (9), mild excema

Posted on: Sat, 01/27/2007 - 5:26am
Carefulmom's picture
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Joined: 01/03/2002 - 09:00

This is a continuation of my post on the thread Lara`s Law which turned into a discussion on babysitters. To those who haven`t read it, dd is anaphylactic to milk, so we did not keep it in the house. A babysitter snuck milk in, knowing it could kill dd, gave it to dd, and then threw the leftover milk in the trash outside. When I got home from work, dd would be wheezing. I worked Mondays and Thursdays only. Dd wheezed Mondays and Thursdays only, and only after I got home from work, never before work. This happened four times before I found out about it. This was in addition to the babysitter who snuck dd out on dates with a man I knew nothing about and with no car seat at age 18 months, the babysitter who left dd alone in the bathtub at age 2, the babysitter who left dd home alone at age 3 for an hour and a half every day. So just because you only have safe food in your house, you really cannot assume that your child will be safe. There is always the chance that the babysitter will sneak it in.
Onedayatatime, to answer your question in the other thread, I did look at some home day cares after all those experiences with babysitters. I made a point of showing up half and hour early for my visit and I did not like what I saw. This was true of all of them. I ended up putting dd in preschool at age 3. That was the best solution. Parents were coming and going all the time, and the school was accountable. Since I am a single mom, I had to have child care in order to work. Otherwise, I would have just stayed home with her. Despite her being allergic to milk, eggs, and peanuts at the time, she was actually safer in a preschool than at home with a babysitter due to all the things that the babysitters did that they were not supposed to do.
For those who did not read the other thread, I posted that 90% of people who get those cameras in their home to check on the babysitters end up firing their babysitters. That says it all. It is amazing how well they lie, too. For example the one who took dd out on dates with a man I found out about from a neighbor. When I asked the babysitter, she looked me straight in the eye and said it did not happen. The one who left dd alone in the bathtub also looked me straight in the eye and said it did not happen. The babysitters are very very good at lying.
Here is another story about why I won`t use the teenage kid down the street to babysit. When I was 16 my parents went out of town for a week to take my sister up to college. I did not need a babysitter during the day, but they did not want me home alone for a week at age 16, so they hired a neighborhood teenage to come stay with me at night. The neighborhood teenager had her boyfriend over and they were making out heavily on the couch. I pretty much had to stay in my bedroom. I told my parents but once it happened, it could not be undone. Having been the babysittee, I can say it was not fun. You really do not know what is happening when you are not there.

Posted on: Sat, 01/27/2007 - 6:52am
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

My 9 year old tells me everything, so I have a built in camera, I guess! So far we have had wonderful teen girls whom I usually pick up, so if they are sneaking in food I would see it.
They also bring activities for the kids, coloring and games -- they are girl scouts and take sitting very seriously! They all have had the Red Cross babysitting training course given by our local community center. One of the sitters is my niece, a really responsible kid/young woman.
I really feel comfortable with these girls and I think I have a really good idea of what goes on. I also call once during the evening to "check in" and talk with my daughter.
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mom to Ari(6) - severe nut allergies, asthma, you name it - and Maya (9), mild excema

Posted on: Sat, 01/27/2007 - 9:38am
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Joined: 06/29/2005 - 09:00

We have used babysitters frequently. Usually 4 days/week for about 5 hours at a time. For us it is a much safer option than daycare centers. I like the one-on one attention and the safety of my own home, plus I do very complete training on epi-pen, emergency procedures, safe food lists etc. I babysat from age 11-22 and I know I was trustworthy, safe and reliable. That said, I only have used college students or older. It works best for us.

Posted on: Sat, 01/27/2007 - 11:51am
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Joined: 01/26/2006 - 09:00

Unfortunately, in this day and age, I think many people who have a camera on them at "work" would be fired...if not for surfing on the web then for talking too much on the phone, doing personal business, etc. Now, I am not saying that I support any bad behavior on the babysitter's part, but I believe that you do have to put some faith in others at some point in order to have somewhat of a personal life along with your spouse or partner.
We have been fortunate enough to know all of the parents of the babysitter's quite well. The parents either stop by or call frequently during the 3 hours we go out. These parents always stay home while we are out, not because they have to but because they want to for their own kids sake.
My parents used babysitters growing up. I don't ever remember a babysitter bringing anyone over or even talking on the phone. I was a babysitter and I wouldn't have dreamed of doing that. I hope I'm raising my kids well enough so that if they ever babysit they know better to not do that.
Kelly01, thanks for your support. Sometimes I really do feel in the minority here. Glad to see there is someone else who thinks like me!
LJ

Posted on: Sat, 01/27/2007 - 2:03pm
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Joined: 05/24/2006 - 09:00

My daughter is babysat by my sister in law, my parents, my brother and my best friend's mom (who also babysat me). Once my nephew is a little bit older I will be comfortable with him babysitting. My daughter also goes to a babysitter's when I am at work.

Posted on: Sat, 01/27/2007 - 4:09pm
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Joined: 03/12/2004 - 09:00

We have babysitters as well...hopefully good ones! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] My inlaws, and others that we hire. My inlaws are the only ones who feed my kids (with a written menu which is reviewed beforehand) since ds is milk, egg, and nut allergic.
For other babysitters, they are trained on the epipen, they review our background/emergency action plan, and I answer their questions.
My kids are also 4, so we feed them, put them to bed at 7:30, and then go out. What babysitter would want to wake kids up for ANY reason?! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] Luckily, my kids don't get out of bed looking for snacks or anything like that...and babysitters have strict orders not to give them any food. And, we stay local.
We use an agency where all applicants are pre-screened (FWIW). It's worked out fine this way...a little nerves on my part, but fine.
We used to have a babysitter that was with us since the kids were born until age 3. She already loved the kids and knew us as a family quite well before the diagnosis. I trusted her to feed the kids as well.
Now, my own parents on the other hand, I don't let babysit. They're almost 80, have a slew of health problems, and just can't remember what they need to to keep ds safe. While they're interested, they ask the same questions about him over and over. So, they're out, and it's painful for them, and me, when they offer and I have to turn them down again and again. But I do. Meg

Posted on: Sat, 01/27/2007 - 10:17pm
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Joined: 02/26/2006 - 09:00

i have a very hard time leaving my children with a sitter. so when we do go out its usually after they are in bed so the sitter only has to sit on the couch and watch tv. its a litte inconvent but it makes me feel safer that way. we also stress no out side food.
even thoe my children are asleep there is no food alowed in this house that we havent purchaced our selves. i dont bend at all on this rule.
erin

Posted on: Sun, 01/28/2007 - 1:34pm
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Joined: 06/21/2003 - 09:00

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[This message has been edited by NicoleinNH (edited June 10, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 01/28/2007 - 10:24pm
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Joined: 09/30/2002 - 09:00

We don't go out often but have definitely left the kids with sitters. Our home is completely peanut free so there's nothing to worry about here! The sitters we've hired all know about the girls and their allergies. They don't eat peanuts or nuts if they are sitting for us and they aren't allowed to bring their own food into the house!
For years, our sitter was a college student who lives across the street who was a nursing student. Could it get much better? Now we've used a teen who is a friend of our family and she's wonderful.

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