Anyone else feel like others think you are a pest?

Posted on: Tue, 05/22/2007 - 11:08am
nycmom1's picture
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Joined: 04/04/2007 - 09:00

Recently found out my 1.5 y/o DD is PA. The hardest thing for me has been been the reaction of other mothers. I don't think I'm asking too much - - take off shoes and wash hands when you come into our home; don't share finger food with DD; don't eat peanut products before playing; I also mentioned that I can't have DD play at one of her friend's homes because her friend eats pb in the house and they are all still licking toys. Am I being too neurotic? I am getting the feeling that they are insulted by what I am asking (and I am asking VERY nicely). If only they knew what we're dealing with (thankfully, they don't).

Posted on: Tue, 05/22/2007 - 11:27am
M. Mariano's picture
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Joined: 04/30/2007 - 09:00

Hi,
I think your only doing your job as a mother. Please don't care what others think. They may not understand the severity of this allergy. If you're not the one protecting your child, who will? Good Luck and keep being protective for your childs sake.

Posted on: Tue, 05/22/2007 - 12:13pm
mcmom's picture
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Joined: 06/15/2004 - 09:00

Quote:[b]Am I being too neurotic?[/b]
Not at all!! You are keeping your child safe. The precautions you are asking for are perfectly reasonable - I would make kids wash hands and take off shoes to come and play even without the allergy!
[This message has been edited by mcmom (edited May 23, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 05/22/2007 - 1:43pm
PennMom's picture
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Joined: 08/01/2006 - 09:00

No, you are not being neurotic. You are doing your best to protect your daughter.
We ask that everyone wash their hands when they enter our house, the shoes in the laundry room when entering- was just always something everyone did, even before allergies were diagnosed. And I do ask any guests who are staying with us not to eat any nuts/PB the day they are coming - and tell them no food is to be brought into our house at all- that way we know we have no problem with them eating may contains or such in our house. I know most (if not all) of our relatives think this is too much, but I look at it this way, this is DD's home and I definitely want her to feel safe here and not have to worry here.

Posted on: Wed, 05/23/2007 - 4:59am
Jen224's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2006 - 09:00

We ask everyone to do the same stuff as you. Personally, I think everyone--regardless of dealing with any allergies in their family--should be washing hands and taking off shoes before walking around and touching things in some else's house. If that makes us neurotic, then so be it!!
As a side note, I bought my dad's wife super nice kitchen hand soap for her birthday in November 2005. Christmas 2006--a whole 13 months later!!!--they have the same bottle of soap sitting next to their sink. I asked if they switched it out for holidays (entertaining)--no, she says it's been there the whole time and she loves it so much she wants to ration it out. Fine, but does that mean they're NOT using soap to wash hands?! We go through a bottle of liquid soap for the kitchen and main floor bathroom each in about 3 weeks!
You're doing a great job! It does get more manageable. Soon people will just know what to do without being told when they come to your house, and who knows, maybe they'll start doing it in their own homes as well! Not a bad habit [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 05/23/2007 - 6:22am
stitcher's picture
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Joined: 03/14/2007 - 09:00

"Fine, but does that mean they're NOT using soap to wash hands?! "
Probably not. I have a bar of soap that has been in my kitchen for next to ever. It was hand made by a dear friend and I love how it makes the kitchen smell. I use it sparingly, BUT I use dish soap to wash hands with before and after cooking, after washing dishes,ect. I even use the lavender scented dish soap in a dispenser in the bathroom. Most folks I know use some variety of liquid dish detergent for washing hand in the kitchen. Just a thought.

Posted on: Wed, 05/23/2007 - 6:33am
booandbrimom's picture
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Joined: 08/23/2000 - 09:00

A picture is (unfortunately) worth a thousand words...
My husband's side of the family thought we were making the whole thing up until they saw it happen right in front of them. My son accidently picked up his cousin's sippy and took one sip of milk.
Afterwards, they became the biggest advocates for safety. One time we were at a restaurant for a special occasion. I had called ahead and talked with the manager, and spoke to him again and the waitress privately when we came in. When we ordered, I just told her spaghetti. My BIL jumps in and says "and you know, it has to be milk free because we're talking ambulance if you're wrong." I thought it was so sweet!
However, even after 12 years, the other side of the family still thinks we're just control freaks and that the food allergies are just made up and my son's a wuss.
The bottom line is that you have to do what you think you need to do to keep your child safe. If the precautions are necessary, make sure they're enforced and don't worry about it. There's always someone to criticize.

Posted on: Sat, 03/12/2011 - 6:12pm
Hrg2's picture
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Joined: 03/12/2011 - 00:23

It sounds like your brother in-law is a jerk. I managed a resturant just out of college and would have informed you that though we strive to keep allergens out of out food in cases like yours we can not in any way guarantee that dairy will not cross contaminate the meal. I would make sure that you clearly understood this before your order was taken to the kitchen. I have done this only one time with a person who's kid was allergic to chocolate. After this they decided not to order desert.
What your BIL did not not sweet but rude.

Posted on: Sun, 03/13/2011 - 5:55am
mrsbettag's picture
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Joined: 02/25/2011 - 11:32

It doesn't matter what others think. We too are extremely cautionous about everything. I have two sons with SEVERE PA. You're just being a good mom. =-)

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