I feel terrible. On tuesday morning I was at the school for a parent coffee social. I needed a knife to cut a pumpkin cake that I had brought. I went into the staff room to get a knife, and saw a package of mixed nuts. I checked the label it did not have PN in it, but it clearly said peanut oil in the ingredients list. Our school is PN but not TN free. I have had the stomach flu and have not been sleeping well, and I did not know how to deal with this. I did not want to go into the principals office at the time because every time I go in there to talk to her about my sons PA I end up blubbering like a baby.
I stewed about it all day, made myself sick, had a pounding headache. So I wrote a letter to drop off for the principal when I picked up my kids (I thought the letter was not too harsh). I did not hear from her that afternoon or the next day, so DH and I popped into the office at the end of school Wednesday. She asked if we could hang around for a few minutes and meet with her. DH could not but I did. When we got into her office, she just broke down and could not stop apologizing. She said it was a terrible mistake, they knew their were no PN in the package and never thought about the PN oil. She said she did not sleep the night before, and broke down crying (she had seen my sons last anaphylactic reaction) and said she just kept thinking about what could have happened.
I came home from the meeting and re-read my letter. I had sounded very angry, accusatory (they had done it on purpose, and did not think the PN free rule applied to them) and just plain b&*%$y. I could not believe it, I thought I had written a clear, educational type letter. I felt terrible, because I know how the staff are so careful about everything that goes on in the school. I think I have been reading so many horror stories here about uncaring school staff ,I had just assumed that's what had happened to us.
Anyway, I had to write an apology letter to the staff and principal, and promised never to leap to conclusions again. I also said I should have handled it right away, which I definitely should have. I would not have had the terrible day that I had and the principal and staff would have been educated immediately and no-one would have had bad feelings. It could have been a positive learning experience instead of a negative one.
Does any of this make sense? I hope I didn't confuse anyone. I just felt so bad that I thought I should share how caring the staff at our sons school is.
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Cynde
Hey cynde,
Don't beat yourself up, you made your point which perhaps was a good thing that you came on a little stronger.
It sounds like they were very receptive and it's great that you appreciate that and can in return tell them your sorry for coming on too strong.
I think what occurred was beneficial for everyone.
Have a Great Day [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
If the principal witnessed your son having a reaction, than she knows what you're up against and the type of pressure that you are under. Teachers and principals have parents go off on them all the time with never an apology, and for a lot less than what happened here. They understand.
I'm sure that there are no hard feelings and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect Little Miss Sunshine. Likely everyone is better educated because of this situation anyway.
i am the queen of putting something in writing that i later regret. haha. however, i don't think you were the one who made the error. the fact that staff at the school were so upset shows that they even realize they made the mistake. besides, if they don't know to check the entire label and read for warnings, then they needed the lesson. look at it this way...you have a better chance of it not happening again. that's a great thing; even if you do feel bad. it's nice of you to express regret about the tone of the letter; even if they did make a serious mistake. i'm sure most of the staff are parents too; they probably know how easy it is to get really upset when your child is involved. joey
You are right, everyone did learn from this.
I learned to not wait to do something, and I'm sure the staff will never make this kind of mistake again.
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Cynde
Cynde, I think you handled it really well. We all make mistakes, and this time there were mistakes made on both sides. It's terrific that you are in a supportive school and have open communication with the principal and staff. Try not to be hard on yourself. You are obviously a very kind and helpful person. I'm sure it is all water under the bridge, now. The good news is that the principal obviously understands and shares your level of concern for your son. Take good care, Miriam
California Mom, your right there were mistakes on both sides, now I don't feel quite so bad. The principal does share my level of concern, especially since she saw him almost die during his last anaphylactic reaction. I wish the ignorant parents we still have at the school could have seen it. No one with any kind of a heart could still argue about peanut butter after seeing something like that.
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Cynde
Glad you're feeling a little better. Too bad about those ignorant parents, however.
Take care, [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Miriam
Yeh, unfortunately there always seems to be a few.
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Cynde
Hi Cynde,
I think you handled it perfectly!
Not only have you reminded the principal of PA, I believe you have unknowingly recruited a very important person as a stronger advocate for the care of your child. Good for you!
For me, I usually wind up editing a letter to the school at least 10xs before sending it to ensure that my point is made w/out emotion. I learned this many years ago from my husband when I realized he was more successful then myself when working w/our older son's teachers & principal.
Stay safe!