I would really appreciate it if this didn't have to be a "discussion" about religion and all that. I just could use some advice from people that believe in the healing power of Christ and how they incorporate that into PA.
My DH and I are christians and we totally believe that God can heal our dd PA. Don't get me wrong, I'm completely cautious and educate everyone we meet about PA. (DH is careful as well) The problem is that whenever I mention about how she could have anaphylaxis, he says that he "rejects" that and doesn't want to "claim" that over her life. I mean, I understand what he's saying. He afraid I'm saying that it WILL happen. It's not like he's in denial or anything. But it just frustrates me that he won't discuss this aspect of her PA. I don't want to agonize about it all day, but I need people to understand the danger of PA. Anyone have any advice?
stephi13339, has your daughter ever had an anaphylactic reaction? Did your husband see it?
Regardless of your belief system, I do think your husband is in denial. I am only saying this because my husband, at one point, was also.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
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"That was Polanski. Nicholson got his nose cut."
her first reaction, which was her worst so far, her tongue and face swelled up and we took her to the ER. He was the one that was with her when it happenned. We didn't know of her PA before that. He gave her a PB cookie at Xmas.
It's not that he doesn't know that it can happen (a severe reaction) its just that he's seriously conflicted. On one hand he knows the reality of it, on the other he wants to believe that she'll be healed and taken care of. I am too a little I guess. But I have no problem giving people the cold hard facts about the danger of PA. You have to or they won't take you seriously.
He understands, but he just won't talk about the real bad stuff.
We were at a party yesterday and they had choc chip cookies with PB MM's in them. Well, we were careful and kept her away from all the kids that were eating them (she's contact sensitive) Well when we got home I was mentioning that if she were airborne sensitive she would've had a reaction from being in the same room. He said "oh, she's not airborne sensitive!" I said "well, if she was I'd want to know about it before she goes into anaphalaxis because she was in the same room as a peanut". And he says "stop saying she's going to go into ana.. that's not gonna happen!" Maybe he's is in denial or just stressed....
I agree with csc. He is in denial. He realizes the reality is it [i]could[/i] happen. But he denies that reality could relate to his child. Understandable feelings, but still dangerous.
It's the same thing some other Christian parents I know are feeling. (I'm only commenting on their being Christian, because it might or might not be a factor.)
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I am going to try to word this non-offensively. Please forgive me if I fail.
Your husband (and my friends) don't get to chose which prayers God answers. You can pray. You can ask. But - in the end, you don't get to decide. And, you may never understand why such an important prayer [i]appears[/i] to be ignored. Maybe there's a reason. Maybe one day you will understand what that reason is. Maybe not.
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My fil believes in *laying on of hands*. He has seen miracles. Other times, he has eased someone's pain - or someone's passing. He doesn't pretend to understand how God makes his choices.
annemarie- you were absolutely right on about the prayer. we believe in "laying on hands" too. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But this dilema DH seems to have over being realistic and being faithful is so distressing. He seems to be afraid that if he admits that the healing might not happen, that it won't. or that his lack of faith will make a bad reaction happen.
He's normally doesn't have a problem with this issue. He knows that being a "good" christian and how hard you pray have nothing to do with it. I've heard him give sermons on it!
Its probably because it's his DD, he's scared. Being adamant that it won't happen is all that he has to hold on to.
Anna Marie -
I was thinking how I could say the same thing you did - you said it just right. And, yes, I'm a Christian. I trust that God knows what He's doing - no matter what happens. (And I acknowledge that that is sometimes said more easily than at other times!)
csc- what made your DH finally "get it"?
Quote:Originally posted by AnnaMarie:
[b]
Your husband (and my friends) don't get to chose which prayers God answers. You can pray. You can ask. But - in the end, you don't get to decide. And, you may never understand why such an important prayer [i]appears[/i] to be ignored. Maybe there's a reason. Maybe one day you will understand what that reason is. Maybe not.
[/b]
but of course. maybe my cubs *are* already [i]healed[/i]. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Despite having a LTFA. Maybe it's even protecting them in a way I can't see. Yet. KWIM? Forest. Trees.
Sometimes, *my* faith entails [i]acceptance[/i]. Even of things I might not favor. Got to think of the 'thorn' in Paul's side. Ya know? I try not to drown my faith in irrational fear, or denial.
Two sparrows for a farthing, I mean. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
WARNING:[i]self indulgent posting of the following thread..........[/i]
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum3/HTML/001018.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum3/HTML/001018.html[/url]
I believe there's a difference between "healing" and "curing." With healing comes acceptance and peace--and possibly cure and possibly not. To me, healing is a spiritual, emotional thing that can have physical results, but it's not a physical thing in and of itself.
Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] but of course. maybe my cubs *are* already [i]healed[/i]. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
][/b]
I understand exactly what you mean. I think saying that to him might clarify things. My dd is healed even though she has PA. nice! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
stephi13339, my DH "got it" when our son had an anaphylactic reaction and almost died. After that night, he "got it" and remained pretty much on the same page as me about it. But, before that night, because he had never seen an anaphylactic reaction (even though our son had had one previous), he did not take things as seriously. In fact, I considered him pretty incredible when he did "get it" considering how strong his denial was.
(Yup, that post would be the one to make me cry. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] ).
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
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"That was Polanski. Nicholson got his nose cut."
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