Another Mom Showed A Little Resentment Toward Me Today

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 12:03am
Heather3's picture
Joined: 09/30/2004 - 09:00

The class has a field trip coming up. The teacher called me and asked if I would come. It is written in the IHP that someone from my son's family accompany him on all field trips. Another mom said to me this morning "are you going on the field trip?" and I said "yes" She said "how do you know you're going? I volunteered and the teacher told me she would let me know one way or the other and she hasn't done that yet" I said "well, the teacher called me and asked me to come" She said words to the effect of why do you get to go and I don't. I said "I think because of the food thing" OK, I'm new at this public school thing but I think I just learned a lesson to just clam up and say "I don't know" a lot. I'm sick of the food allergy being front and center all the time.

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 12:19am
crazydaisy's picture
Joined: 11/14/2003 - 09:00

"I don't know"
When it comes to school and parents asking ?about other children or that school staff should answer "I don't know ask the teacher". Good respones. Be very carefull what and who you say things to!!RE:why do you get to go and I don't. Let the school handle it.JMO!
The Daisy Thanks You

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 1:47am
California Mom's picture
Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Heather, so sorry this happened. [img][/img] I'm not sure you should have to feel that you need to hide the fact that you know you will be going on field trips.
Maybe you could briefly explain that it is best for the whole class to have you watching out for your son when he is in a public place. This way you will be able to take care of him if a medical emergency should arise, and the teacher will be able to stay focused on the class.
If this doesn't help and someone expresses outright resentment, then you could always say you sure wish you could trade places with them and not have to worry about your son's safety every moment of every day. If you say it with a smile maybe it won't start a fight! [img][/img]
Maybe go out of your way to smile and be friendly to this other mom so she sees you are a nice person! If she gets to know you and your child maybe she will be sympathetic and understand the extra burden you carry.
Take care, Miriam

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 2:41am
nancy023's picture
Joined: 12/12/2002 - 09:00

Isn't it strange how some schools pick and choose which parents get to go on the field trips and other schools can't get enough parents to go? I think it builds resentment between the parents that are not chosen and those that are, seems rather childish. They should let all the parents that want to volunteer come along.

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 2:42am
katiee's picture
Joined: 05/09/2001 - 09:00

My way of dealing with this was that yes I accompany Wade on ALL fieldtrips but the school does not pay for me, I pay for myself and transport Wade to and from the fieldtrip.
With our school, any parent can attend even if they have their full complement of volunteers provided they transport themselves and pay for themselves. The school did not ask this of me but I felt it would be easier if "I" did it this way.
You could sweetly suggest this to the next person who questions you on this issue.
Take care,

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 3:49am
Timmysmom's picture
Joined: 10/16/2003 - 09:00

I agree with crazydaisy, play dumb! There's no point in you trying to explain yourself away. Simply say "I was notified that I'm going...I don't know about other parents." Leave it at that, and I also agree, leave it up to the school, no burden on you. I have an agreement too that I always go on the bus and chaperone.
In our school too, any parent can come (going on a trip next week). They have a limit of 5 parents per class riding the school bus, the remainder can follow the bus in their own cars.
Hope you're having a better day today! [img][/img]
Mom to Timmy, 5 yrs, PA
DD 7 1/2 yrs NKA
DS 3 yrs NKA

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 8:00am
Darkmage's picture
Joined: 10/01/2004 - 09:00

My son just started preschool and has his first field trip next week to a pumpkin farm. All parents were invited.
The teachers have already told me that my son will not be going on the field trip to the donut shop later in the year because of all the peanuts lying around. That's fine with me!
I already know that I will insist on going on all field trips no matter how or what I have to do to get it done. If I can't go, then my son can't either. At least not until he's much older anyway.
Question: Has anyone had the problem of their kids losing friends because the friend's mother couldn't handle the peanut allergy?
[This message has been edited by Darkmage (edited October 07, 2004).]

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 9:11am
darthcleo's picture
Joined: 11/08/2000 - 09:00

the *school* does a trip to a donut shop???
Ok, what's the educational value of a donut shop? A bakery, maybe. A donut shop??? Don't most kids go to donut shops with their parents already?

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 12:04pm
MimiM's picture
Joined: 10/10/2003 - 09:00

You might want to call the donut shop and find out if in fact they really have "peanuts lying around" because it may not be so bad that he can't simply walk through (especially if you are there). If they hand out donuts at the end that you don't trust, maybe you can just pull out a Krispy Kreme that you brought for him.
The school really should not discrimminate against your son just because he has a peanut allergy. If this trip is unsafe for those with peanut allergies, maybe the school should arrange a completely different trip that is suitable to all children. It's not fair for your son to sit home when the other children are enjoying a trip.
It may not seem like a big deal to you just to keep him home but what if the kids are talking about it later? Your son may feel left out.
Sorry if I'm opening up a can of worms but it's just my opinion.

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 12:50pm
Carefulmom's picture
Joined: 01/03/2002 - 09:00

I agree. I was on this board two years ago when dd`s brownie troop wanted to take a field trip to a bakery that uses peanuts, and I fought it. There are a million places this school can go on a field trip where your child can be part of the group. It isn`t right for them to go to the donut place if it is that risky for your child. I also agree that it is an odd place for a field trip (which I also thought when dd`s brownie troop planned a field trip to a bakery)---there is way too much focus on food in general! The troop leaders were both food obsessed, so it should have been no surprise.

Posted on: Thu, 10/07/2004 - 3:20pm
travelplus's picture
Joined: 04/18/2004 - 09:00

Well you have to go for the safety of your kid.It may take ages to get it through the mother's head. Tell her it can be life-threatening and show her some of the horrifying articles of kids dying from food allergies. This will make her cry and re-think her stance. You will get an appology. I know I would show articles to show the seriousness.


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