another crack in the system....

Posted on: Thu, 05/24/2007 - 1:06am
saknjmom's picture
Joined: 04/02/2003 - 09:00

There are 3 other children with pa in my son's class. These kids are deemed by their parents to have "mild" pa. I am considered to be the Gold Standard of judgement and comfort zone,if you know what I mean.

Anyway, there was an ice cream party for another student for star of the week. The mom is my good friend, she called and I okayed the food for the party.

The rule is that the allergic kids MUST have a signed note from their parent saying they can eat food not from home. Apparently, my friend didn't call the other moms. (teacher should have told her to).

I sent a note. The same day, I saw one of the mom's with PA child at the store. I mentioned the party...she didn't know about it. I said you probably still have time to send in a note and told her I had okayed the ingredients. She said she preferred he didn't and it was okay since he was attending a birthday party right after school and didn't need more junk food.

So, after school, I asked DS how it went and if the other kid was okay not doing the ice cream party.

As it turns out, the teacher allowed the other kids to participate WITHOUT NOTES since I had approved the food for my DS.

I am not going to say anything to the other moms, but I was highly concerned because what if one of the other moms whose comfort zone is quite different than mine approved food for their child and the teacher figured that since that pa mom said it was okay, it would be okay for my son.

So, I reiterated with my son that he NEVER eats food without a note from me and I don't care if the President of the USA checked it!!!

I wrote a note to his teacher reiterating that I have a much different comfort zone than other moms with PA children and that he only eats with my permission even if xx's mom says it is okay.

I have to say this really goes back to the school nurse. She hasn't made this crystal clear to my son's teacher. I continue to feel like many of the cracks in the system go directly to the incompetence of our nurse. She doesn't lay out the rules. (from the other post with protocol distaster...I just learned that she NEVER told DSs teacher about him being escorted, about a lot of stuff).
So anyway, I guess this is more of a vent than anything....I am so glad school is nearly over....

Posted on: Thu, 05/24/2007 - 2:02am
Peg541's picture
Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

We have always struggled with our tight comfort zone versus kids/parents who say "Oh I'm just a little bit allergic to peanuts."
And this is very recent.
Part of what my son (22) has always told others is "No matter what other people tell you about their allergies, mine is what it is and my cautions are what they are. They are to be compared to no one else."
We are always afraid other people will compare him to someone else less cautious and there goes the system down the drain.
You were smart in what you told your son. Our cautions are OUR cautions. Period.

Posted on: Thu, 05/24/2007 - 3:00am
NicoleinNH's picture
Joined: 06/21/2003 - 09:00

I'm a huge Barry Manilow fan
[This message has been edited by NicoleinNH (edited June 09, 2007).]

Posted on: Thu, 05/24/2007 - 3:24am
Gail W's picture
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by saknjmom:
[b]. . . I am considered to be the Gold Standard of judgement and comfort zone, if you know what I mean.
. . .
As it turns out, the teacher allowed the other kids to participate WITHOUT NOTES since I had approved the food for my DS. [/b]
The teacher probably has no idea what a big mistake she's making. . . fot those kids and for herself as well. If one of those kids without a note had a reaction that day, she'd be out on a limb without the school's support.
But I can relate and it happened to me too. I had teachers come to me with questions about what kids in their class with food allergies could and could not eat. Of course I told them they'd have to ask that child's parent, but I think they just figured it was 'easier' to use my standards for my child.

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