Am I doing the right thing?

Posted on: Fri, 05/31/2002 - 5:50am
brendaj's picture
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Joined: 08/24/2000 - 09:00

pThe school is having their spring fling tomorrow and I have been organizing the bake table ( I know! ) The school has a nut free policy and all the families were reminded of that. Of course, things came in with nut or with ingredients that I know have nut warnings on them. The opinion of the organizer was that they could be sold as long as they were clearly labelled as nut containing. Now I am terrible with conflict or confrontation so it was hard to maintain composure. I finally had to say that I could not sell them as it was against the nutfree policy. Her position is that this was a weekend function outside of school hours and that at least the goods with nut warning ingredients could still be sold. I then said why did we tell everyone about keeping them nut free anyway? /p
pI'm sure my voice was cracking when I said I wouldn't sell them and if she did want them sold that she would have to find another person to do it. Given that it is pretty late to round up another volunteer,I'll be there tomorrow, removing any goods I don't feel appropriate off the table./p
pWas I too unreasonable, either too strict or not enough? What is your school's definition of nut free? Does it include things with nut warnings? Would it include functions outside of school hours? I know stuff especially the nut warning kind of thing gets to the school, but they think they are doing an excellent job. There was an earlier thread where people commented that they didn't mind foods with nut warnings near the PA kids (and this is also the way I feel}, so should those foods have been okay in this case? My husband already thinks I go overboard at times. Ironically, my PA daughter won't be attending as she will be away this weekend. /p
pI still feel upset and confused, trying to tell myself I did the best thing but not really convinced. I would really appreciate some opinions. Thanks/p

Posted on: Fri, 05/31/2002 - 6:11am
LaurensMom's picture
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Joined: 05/23/2001 - 09:00

I do not think you were unreasonable at all. Since it is a school sponsored activity, I think it undermines the nut-free policy.

Posted on: Fri, 05/31/2002 - 8:14am
Anna's picture
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Joined: 07/20/1999 - 09:00

IMO, you did the right thing, and those who brought the nut products are in the wrong. Congratulations for sticking to your principles!
My guess is that if you feel any residual discomfort, it's because of the social implications of being assertive, not because you made a wrong decision. Sometimes there is social friction when you are firm in your views, but once again, IMO, you made the right choice, and there's no need to back down at all!
[This message has been edited by Anna (edited May 31, 2002).]

Posted on: Fri, 05/31/2002 - 10:56am
momjd's picture
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Joined: 02/24/2002 - 09:00

If the organizer isn't a member of the school staff, then she probably doesn't understand the implications of what she is saying. If the nut foods are in the school over the weekend, the residue will be there on Monday. If she does understand...
Anyway, don't feel bad- your doing what's right for your child and what the school's policy requires!

Posted on: Fri, 05/31/2002 - 10:57am
LaurieI's picture
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Joined: 04/04/2002 - 09:00

If the school policy is "nut-free", than I don't see why there should be an exception.

Posted on: Sat, 06/01/2002 - 1:15am
brendaj's picture
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Joined: 08/24/2000 - 09:00

Thanks for the imput. Removed a couple of other things from the bake table but otherwise went ok. I guess my dilemma is that there are some things I let slide along the "may contain" side at these type of functions eg. ice cream, store bought goods, etc. I have sent info to the school and the PTA on cross contamination on request but it was never circulated. We'll have to see if the things change or not. Again, thanks for the responses.

Posted on: Sat, 06/01/2002 - 1:18am
brendaj's picture
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Joined: 08/24/2000 - 09:00

Thanks for the imput. Removed a couple of other things from the bake table but otherwise went ok. I guess my dilemma is that there are some things I let slide along the "may contain" side at these type of functions eg. ice cream, store bought goods, etc. I have sent info to the school and the PTA on cross contamination on request but it was never circulated. We'll have to see if the things change or not. Again, thanks for the responses.

Posted on: Sat, 06/01/2002 - 5:26am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

One other angle to back you up - what if a PA child who doesn't attend the school, but who knows it's peanut-free, buys something and assumes it's peanut-free because the school is? Then he has a reaction because it was something with a peanut warning that did indeed contain peanut? Plus, everyone's comments about the residue still being there on Monday is very valid.
If the facility is peanut-free all week, then it should be on weekends, too. After all, they don't ban smoking in smoke-free places only during weekdays, do they?
Carolyn [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sat, 06/01/2002 - 9:54pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

I don't always agree that schools should be peanut-free, but feel each case needs to be decided individually. However, if the school is nut-free, that needs to be for ALL school related activities. The previous comment about a guest knowing it's nut-free is very good - and very accurate.

Posted on: Sun, 06/02/2002 - 1:05am
river's picture
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Joined: 07/15/1999 - 09:00

I hope everything went okay with the bake sale Brendaj. You absolutely were within your rights to refuse to sell the peanut products. Unfortunately, even when a school has adopted progressive policies of peanut free or peanut safe, we are still falling far behind with the PTA people, and these can sometimes be the most challenging people to deal with in the school system.

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