Am I contradicting myself ?

Posted on: Tue, 11/14/2006 - 2:36pm
lilpig99's picture
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Joined: 12/22/2005 - 09:00

We recently returned to having my DD , age 6, only eat snacks from her safe snack bag after the teacher missed a may contain statement AND was going to allow DD to eat it, as well as a item baked from another persons home. Soooooooo...

So now the class is making fruit salad to eat. She asked if her list of fruits, which each child will bring a piece of, is ok. The fruits are all okay (except mango--allergen for her). Would you let others bring a piece of fruit to class, to have the teacher chop (on my cutting board with my knife) and let your child eat even though you said to only allow your child to eat from their own safe snack bag?

While I'm not sure about the message that would be sending, for some reason, I don't see this as risky, allergy speaking, unless the fruits were packed in a nutty fruit basket...a point which will be included in the note to parents or were not washed.

I could offer to buy the fruit for everyone, but the idea is a 'friendship' salad where everyone helps. Not sure what to do...

Thanks for your thoughts...

[This message has been edited by lilpig99 (edited November 15, 2006).]

Posted on: Tue, 11/14/2006 - 3:11pm
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

It really depends. Who are you trying to train?
Your child? Or her caregivers? If it is the former, then it needs to be internally consistent, even if you can see no reason why it wouldn't be okay. (Unless your child can truly understand why the exception is being made, it isn't a good practice.)
If it is the latter, then this sets you up in the position of a "referee" for special exceptions. If that is what you intend, then I would say it is probably fine.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 11/14/2006 - 9:20pm
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

My answer could be yes or no and I'l explain why.
If the fruit is coming from home and the teacher doesn't plan on washing it in sudsy water and rinsing well, definitely no. My feeling on this is that lots of parents make their kids PB&J sandwiches in the morning, then deal with other stuff (like grabbing the fruit and sending it off to school with their child. In addition, our grocery store keeps their nuts in close proximity with fresh produce so I'm a stickler for washing everything in sudsy water and rinsing well. Good way to get rid of some of that pesticide in addition to peanut or tree nut residue.
If the teacher takes the fruit and washes it (with a cleaner that I use at home) and rinses it well, then yes, provided she has washed her hands and her bowls and utensils are clean.
You could always volunteer to help come in and wash the fruit if you are a SAHM. That's what I would do if your child is young.
This type of situation happened with Ryan this year where everyone brought in apples from home. I explained it to his teacher exactly as I posted above and left the option of eating the class apples up to Ryan. He strongly preferred bringing a few apples from home and eating them. It was his choice as to how he wanted to handle it, and the teacher and I respected his decision.
Empowerment! It's a good thing. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 11/14/2006 - 9:59pm
pfmom2's picture
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Joined: 01/22/2006 - 09:00

I am with Corvallis mom, I think consistency in both is key. If you make exceptions, then you have set the bar to where it can continue to happen. Can you send in something similar for your child? Ask the teacher what fruits she is using and prepare the same thing at home for your child? I think if there is a strict rule that no food is eaten unless provided from home, it needs consistency. JMOP

Posted on: Tue, 11/14/2006 - 11:07pm
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

IMO, it would depend on if your child would feel excluded or not. My daughter would have a big problem with not being able to participate in something that was safe for her to do.
if that's the ccase, could you use this situation to show them how 'the system' should work?
I'm assuming (needs to be stated in writing) that there is no mango and that the teacher washes the fruit.
Do you have a 504? You could you write an e-mail to the 504 Team and ask them for their approval. You could explain that this situation is, in your opinion and in the opinion of your allergist, [i]safe [/i]and *you* would like for your daughter to participate in this 'friendship salad' lesson. You could even say that because this classroom activity is safe, eating from her safe snack bag would not be the least restrictive for you daughter. But because the 504 states that your child may only eat from her safe snack bag, you will need the group to give their approval so that the teacher is compliant with your child's 504 plan.
I also think consistency is key, but IMO the consistency is to follow the [i]procedures.[/i] Can you show them how to consistently follow procedural safeguards?
I'm short on time. . . I hope that makes sense!

Posted on: Tue, 11/14/2006 - 11:14pm
NicoleinNH's picture
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Joined: 06/21/2003 - 09:00

DELETE
[This message has been edited by NicoleinNH (edited June 09, 2007).]

Posted on: Tue, 11/14/2006 - 11:20pm
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

If you can volunteer to help that day, you should. If you check all the fruit, and either wash it or oversee the washing, then, even though others brought the fruit, it can still be seen as coming from you. That is, you inspected it, handled it, and approved it. So no mixed message, everyone contributes, and your DD gets to fully participate.

Posted on: Tue, 11/14/2006 - 11:26pm
caryn's picture
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Joined: 11/20/2002 - 09:00

my son is in kdg are our rule is food from home only -- so in a situation like this i would provide him with his fruit salad for that day. for example the school had an ice cream party for kids who sold a certain number of tickets for the fish fry -- the principal was using breyers vanilla since thats what the other mom with a child with a peanut allergy said was safe -- yes it is what we eat -- so no risk -- however did not fall into only food from home -- i packed a container with ice cream and toppings and brought it to school and they put it in the freezer -- he knew it would have his picture and name on it and not to eat anything else -- it worked out fine. now they offered drinks -- coke and diet coke (do not get me started) but because my son understands the only from home rule he had water (he is also allergic to corn -- corn syrup so has never had pop anyways)
so far this is going great and my son feels safe, knows not to take ANYTHING -- and enjoys his treats from home -- will it always work like this -- i don't know. the teacher likes it too.

Posted on: Tue, 11/14/2006 - 11:49pm
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]IMO, it would depend on if your child would feel excluded or not. My daughter would have a big problem with not being able to participate in something that was safe for her to do.[/b]
I like how ryan's mom approached it:
Quote:Originally posted by ryan's mom:
[b]This type of situation happened with Ryan this year where everyone brought in apples from home. I explained it to his teacher exactly as I posted above and left the option of eating the class apples up to Ryan. He strongly preferred bringing a few apples from home and eating them. It was his choice as to how he wanted to handle it, and the teacher and I respected his decision.
Empowerment! It's a good thing. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img][/b]

Posted on: Wed, 11/15/2006 - 12:03am
Carefulmom's picture
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Joined: 01/03/2002 - 09:00

It depends on the age. Gail W.`s daughter is about 12 or 13, I think ryan is around 9 or 10?, my dd is 11, so I would also let dd decide. But at age 6, no way. At that age the rules have to be consistent. Besides, this teacher has already broken the rules once. All the more reason to keep them consistent. When they are older you can count on your child to know when they are told something is safe and it isn`t, but not at age 6. For that reason at age 6, I only let her eat food from home. Otherwise, the risk is too high that they will later eat something they are told was safe when it wasn`t.

Posted on: Wed, 11/15/2006 - 12:31am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Carefulmom:
[b]But at age 6, no way. At that age the rules have to be consistent. Besides, this teacher has already broken the rules once. All the more reason to keep them consistent. [/b]
This makes perfect sense. It [i]is [/i]based on age. I completely agree.

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