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Posted on: Tue, 05/21/2002 - 3:43am
river's picture
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Joined: 07/15/1999 - 09:00

The thing is you see---for a long time people did think like you. But a few children died and that sort of made people start to think. (Sort of like the kids who were killed and or maimed by BB guns and lawn darts.) It's called progress maybe even evolution. Shall we talk seat belt laws now?

Posted on: Tue, 05/21/2002 - 4:18am
TLSMOM's picture
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Joined: 05/25/2001 - 09:00

Stuffguy:
You think the steps toward protection vs education reguarding PA is too much???
Right now I'm in the process of working with the public school where my PA/TNA, 5yr old will be starting kindergarten in the fall.
Right now months before my son will start school that is precisely what I'm doing right now! I'm educating all the adults that will be in daily contact with my son.
Getting the rest of the parents and their children up to snuff will be another story entirely!!!!!!!!!!
When it comes to going to school the protection measures MUST be in place before I can take on the daunting task of trying to educate as many people as I can.
I don't separate the two, I think they are both integral to dealing with this for the protection of my two highly allergic children.
Sincerely
Erin

Posted on: Tue, 05/21/2002 - 5:27am
n5vox's picture
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Joined: 04/17/2001 - 09:00

First I would like to ask that once you rewrite your story/article that you repost the link to it so that we can all read it once you change it. I was going to keep my opinion to myself but decided against it. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] OK - just a thought here (for your editing)- bare with me - MANY of our high schools here in Houston, Texas have metal detectors in the entrance to the schools - obviously - to prevent weapons from being on school grounds. They are here because over the years children have repeatedly shot, stabbed, raped, etc. theirs peers/teachers with these weapons - I am hoping that those parents at least tried to keep their children from taking weapons to school - that would mean education - however - metal detectors are there for protection. I do not know about you - but I personally would prefer the metal detectors (protection) to keep my child safe than to depend on the parents (education) of children that kill people. By the way - you can find out all you want about TNX-901 research by doing a search for Tanox located here in Houston, Texas. Please let us know when your article has been updated? And have you ever stated if you are a parent and how old you are??? Amy

Posted on: Fri, 05/24/2002 - 2:02am
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Stuffguy,
I feel compelled to write and let you know that I enjoyed your article. I think it is important to read all perspectives on an issue in order to form one's own opinion.
For instance, when pregnant I read books that condoned holding your infant 24/7, including having a family bed. I also read books that condoned having the baby in a separate room and ignoring his cries completely to "train" him to a convenient schedule for you. Somewhere in the middle I made up my mind how I was going to parent.
Just because I read these theories did not mean I was going to adopt either extreme, and I would never say the writers were irresponsible for putting forth their theories. Freedom of speech, right? And if someone told these authors they should not have put forth these theories, that would insult me that I don't have the intelligence to weed through what I think is right.
We recently went to a baseball game where there were peanut shells anywhere. Even when we freaked about the seats and moved onto the grassy hill, we found shells all in the grass. We stayed anyway and guess what? Not a single sign of a reaction. Now this does not mean I'm going to take undue risks with my child, but I see no harm in having the thought that maybe it would be okay for him to be next to a p.b. sandwich? IT'S JUST A THOUGHT. And one you have to have to decide where you want your comfort zone.
So I am glad to have your perspective. I need to decide about how to handle my son's preschool in the fall, and it is important for me to consider all angles.
This is not intended as an insult to anyone who disagreed with you. I just wanted to express my opinion. We all have a right to have them.

Posted on: Fri, 05/24/2002 - 2:22am
BS312's picture
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Joined: 09/05/2001 - 09:00

Stuffguy- Thank you for your "rant". It is always helpful to read other perspectives. One question: If you had a PA child, say age five, and you had to choose between a peanut-free school and a non-peanut-free school, which would you choose and why?

Posted on: Fri, 05/24/2002 - 2:56am
LaurensMom's picture
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Joined: 05/23/2001 - 09:00

Stuffguy is intitled to his opinion *but* I don't feel he was giving an opinion, rather, he was telling the world how I should raise my PA child. So, I was offended by it. If it were rephrased to something like, "If I had a child with PA, I would approach it this way for this reason". That is an opinion. The way the article is written now, it is passing judgement on how I elect to raise my PA child ("coddling") when he knows nothing about her or the situations she lives with daily. He is fueling the fire of others who pass similar judgements without knowing the facts and with whom I deal with frequently. If Lauren walks into a classroom where there is peanuts, she may go into anaphylactic shock from smelling them. If it is unknown to her that there are peanuts in the room, what defense does she have against this lion? Does she just not walk into any classroom ever again because there might be a lion there? What about gymnastics? People eat at tables at the gymnastics school she goes to. Why would she think there were peanuts there? Does she not participate in gymnastics because people might bring PB in?
I think that to say we have to teach our children about this is 100% correct. The need to have some grown-up responsibilty at an early age. However, our children need to be on equal footing with this lion. Food is one thing...we can handle what *she* eats...then she and the lion are on equal footing. But, when the lion can hide, change shapes, change color and leave it's scent behind, that is not a fair thing to ask a child (or an adult) to deal with.
That is my opinion.
Andrea
[This message has been edited by LaurensMom (edited May 24, 2002).]
[This message has been edited by LaurensMom (edited May 29, 2002).]

Posted on: Fri, 05/24/2002 - 8:47am
stuffguy's picture
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Joined: 05/20/2002 - 09:00

Before I wander away, I want to thank those who took the time to e-mail me to fill me in on why the peanut school thing was such a sore spot, those who took what I said as I meant it, and even those who's irateness made me delve into the issues surrounding it a bit further.
It's been over ten years since I even gave thought to having an allergy. News snippets catch my eye now and then, but that's about it. You get used to it, and precautions become automatic.
I do not have children. And other than some of the panicked parents around where I used to live looking for validation that it was a doable condition, I've never met a child with the allergy. My thoughts and insights on the subject are based purely on personal experience.
As far as a peanut-free classroom goes, especially for the younger children, I know that would have contributed much to my mother's peace of mind, and I would not have objected to it at all. Heck, who would object to being the one accomodated for a change?
To those of you who are finding yourself with a child with an allergy, life isn't over. Foods can be avoided. Honestly, until they started putting "may contain" labels on all the foods I used to eat, I didn't even give it a second thought. It may be a major pain, and I'm wagering that it's got you all freaked out (at least I'm hoping that explains the extreme backlash.. I'm actually a nice guy [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] ) but it's not debilitating. (Well, smell-induced anaphylactic shock may be, but I'm hoping that's a rarity, not the norm.)
I just wanted to thank you all for your comments, and opinions, and fervor. I wonder how different it would be growing up now that it's not longer an allergy unknown to doctors.
I wish you all the best of luck knowing you'll do what you feel is best for your kids. Heck, you wouldn't be here if you didn't care.
(Even though some of you may think I'm a jerk, I'm a living jerk, and that alone should give you some consolation. If a schmoe like me can stumble through a life of turning down brownies and cookies and cake in a time when most people didn't believe that someone could die from peanuts, then you'll do fine. *grin* )
Again, thanks all..

Posted on: Sun, 05/26/2002 - 10:08pm
williamsmummy's picture
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Joined: 03/26/2002 - 09:00

hello,
I loved your article . I am from the UK and its up to each school head teacher if they agree to a total nut ban ( or in fact agree to use epi-pens ). I have been hesitating over this very issue at school. Having spent some time talking to an adult who has a life long nut allergy, i find that her opinions are the same as yours.
My son is 6 and until the time he leaves the infant classes he will be in a near nut free classroom as possible, and will be closely watched at lunch times. The school meals service already exclude peanuts, but as william is a multiple allergic child the only safe option is packed lunches.
I am very cautious of a total nut ban. I could spend a long time educating them , explaining every thing, and for a while they will remember. A few months down the line they will "forget" beliveing that the school is nut free.
I know that its up to us parents to educate our children, its sad for us to face the fact that we have to force our children to grow up quick. William has shown us so many times lately how sensible he is, he tells me honestly that his "silly" teachers forget and he always has to remind them.
Its just the begining of the long road of teaching our son how to survive in a world where peanuts pop up. In fact on good days i feel happy with the idea that he may grow out of all other allergys and be ONLY left with the peanut one!!
We cant and shouldnt protect him from the outside world when he is older, the only exception to this is our home , which is totally nut free.
We have taught him so well to avoid all his allergic foods that we have found it very difficult explaining what his forth coming Egg challenge at hospital will be like.
Total disbelief and horror , and a point blank " no, never, some stupid doctor is going to put egg on MY FACE? !!! Well I am not going "!!!!
Please keep posting your honest opinons here , hopefully you can stop us parents from going bonkers over the stress of it all, and reasure us that plenty of nut allergic people grow up , and are ,in turn sane ,but cautious adults!
bye sarah

Posted on: Mon, 05/27/2002 - 2:51am
McKenziesMom's picture
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Joined: 03/05/2001 - 09:00

I found your article refreshing, although extreme and I understand why some parents are taking offense.
There are two reasons why I tend to agree with a lot of what you are saying. My PA girl is 12 and has successfully been reaction free for 7 years. We have NOT kept her in a peanut free bubble. We have been VERY diligent in discussions with the schools, friends' parents and for the last 4 or 5 years, her friends. When she was younger, I was probably more panicky because I had to trust others to look out for her allergies. Now I have to trust HER and it's tough!
The second reason is that my best friend from public school and two of the librarians in the town where I live ALL have both peanut and treenut allergies and ALL survived a pre-epipen world. My childhood friend was(is) also allergic to milk and eggs and has severe eczema. Yes, they've all relayed close calls that have happened to them. Yes, they've all been hospitalized.
But they're all over 40 and doing fine.
The strange thing is, NOT one of them ever had a reaction at school! And they all went to schools where kids regularly ate peanut butter sandwiches.
Yes, I am extremely thankful that there are now epipens available, AND that my daughter has a nut-free classroom (not school) and that the teachers are all trained to use epipens.
But I think that keeping kids in a bubble and then all of a sudden expecting them to handle the allergy and be cautious when they enter highschool or the working world is very scary. The fact that my daughter has had to have some level of personal caution every school day since kindergarten means that now it's like second nature to her to question restaurants, family friends, and yes, even ME, thank goodness about whether what she's being served is safe.
Most parents of younger children will be very angry with you, but I think many parents of older children may understand what you're saying - we can't protect them forever! (However, I've told my PA girl that she doesn't need to find a college roommate - I'm going with her! That's one thing I've already started worrying about and it's six years away!)
Thanks for your input. Nice to hear from another adult who has survived!

Posted on: Mon, 05/27/2002 - 5:15am
Marla H's picture
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Joined: 02/26/2002 - 09:00

Mckenzie's mom, You've said what I wanted to say. Things are SO different once your kids get older. We never had a peanut free class or school for my son, but he managed. Of course we worked every year behind the scenes talking to teachers, etc. To parents of very young children, Stuffguy's message may seem thoughtless, but kids are going to have to learn that the world is not a guaranteed safe space--for any of us. I really think that parents who are feeling overwhelmed should actually feel reassured by Stuffguy (and by the many other adults on this site and in our communities).

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