2nd day 1st BIG mistake made already

Posted on: Wed, 09/08/2004 - 12:11pm
ALLERGYMOM's picture
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Joined: 10/09/2003 - 09:00

This happened at childcare on school campus. Not at school or Kindergarten.

When I got home from work (early) ds #1 comes in and says "oh we got free ice cream today". So I am like oh thats cool bc I thought he was talking about his class. THEN......

MFA DS says " I had one too". My heart dropped to the floor. My STRICT instruction are that he gets ***NO CHILDCARE SNACKS***. I brought in snacks and juice for the whole week and will do that until school is out.

Anyway MFA DS ends up with a popcycle and its NOT from home! I called the childcare and talked to them. The head lady was very upset and will find out how it happened tomorrow bc this teacher had left for the day. We had a very long talk and I told her that a mistake like that is very dangerous.

Now I will go in and check everything they have in there center to see if its safe. We have set up a meeting this week.

The past week has been so hard on me and to have this happen on the 2nd day of school.... I just dont know what to think. I have been crying for an hour and I know its not going to get any better. I have alot of things to re-think......Right now I am just really upset and emotionally drained.

Thank you for listening...

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Have A Great Day

Posted on: Wed, 09/08/2004 - 12:28pm
momma2boys's picture
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Joined: 03/14/2003 - 09:00

Uh oh, I'm sorry that you are running into problems already. Hopefully the woman in charge will take care of it, but I would def. keep an eye on it. I had to pull my son out of Pre K because his teacher was constantly doing stuff like that because she thought it was no big deal. But I'm sure it will be fine.
I would stress over and over and over to your son though not to take anything from anyone!!
Hang in there, get some sleep and see what they say tomorrow. And [i]please[/i] stop crying. I feel so bad [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] .

Posted on: Wed, 09/08/2004 - 12:32pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

ALLERGYMOM, so I can understand (I know, it's me [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] ), what is day care on the school campus?
Like an after school program that your children go to while you're at work after they finish school? The same premises as the school?
Big hugs regardless. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 09/08/2004 - 12:43pm
ALLERGYMOM's picture
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Joined: 10/09/2003 - 09:00

momma2boys you are so nice. The head lady at childcare was very upset and stressed that she would take care of it tomorrow. Its just that everything I have done and still mistakes happen. I think I will make a copy of the Nathan Walters article and have her give it to her staff. Then maybe they will understand how mistakes like that just can't be made.
Cin yes the childcare center is on school campus. Yes they go there after school until DH picks them up. Thanks for the HUG [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
I dont think I will get much sleep tonight either. When I lie down my brain wont shut off.
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Have A Great Day
[This message has been edited by ALLERGYMOM (edited September 08, 2004).]

Posted on: Wed, 09/08/2004 - 1:36pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

(I'm putting a smilie face because I hope you'll cheer up but I actually want to put a sad face because I feel upset for you)
Okay, now I understand the program your children are going to, as best as this aged brain understands anything. I know I had checked something out in Belleville, it was run by the YMCA, for it I got a job that started before school hours and went after school hours, and I guess I'll be checking the same thing out eventually here if I ever get settled (I have some stuff I want to do first before I start working outside of the home if I can - apologies for digressing).
How old is your wee one that took the food that he shouldn't have taken without having Mom or Dad okay it?
I do think the article about Nathan would perhaps be a good resource for the staff so that they do understand that yes, one what may appear to be simple error can cost a child his/her life.
When is your meeting set up?
How long are the children there after school? Are they there before school as well?
I think, aside from this incident, what I'm most concerned about is that you are having such a difficult time with this. I'm not saying it's not okay to - it certainly is, but if you can, can you step back and think about things rationally? The reason I'm asking is perhaps I can try to calm you down (even though I have posted to you that I don't find things all that easier than when I sent Jesse off to school six years ago).
Are you able to have a written plan put into place for your child staying in the daycare program?
Does he have his Epi-pen with him at daycare?
(I'm figuring I already know the answer to that one).
You have done wonderful work getting everything ready for your child to go to school and to send him off. I'll tell you, you did a lot more for his first day of school than I did for Jesse's (not that I'm proud of that). You have done great things and I think you have to realize that you've done the best you can, your child does have his Epi-pen, there is an emergency plan in place, and he will be okay.
Seriously.
Jesse has NEVER had a reaction at school (except for the one in the breakfast program I was running and I actually don't consider that part of school because I was running the program, if that makes any sense [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] ).
It's the beginning of his sixth year of school.
It's not going to be healthy for you (or your children or DH) if you're not sleeping and stressed and you know that. Yes, we are all allowed to have those times in our lives and this happens to be one of them for you, but what I would do is keep posting stuff here to get it off your chest so hopefully you aren't whirling around.
Or, rather than lying in bed when you are whirling (I am the Queen of Whirling unless you are going to de-throne me [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] ), get up and come here and visit and find some place fun to go to (actually I've always found it fun to go here when needing to seek solace, odd ball that I am).
Try to keep a record of when the anxiousness started and when it gets worse (like a time of day in particular) and if you have to use your Xanax or not. Then, you may want to speak with your doctor about either seeing someone for talk therapy for taking a more long-term anti-anxiety med like Paxil, I don't know (and please remember I am anti-med, although I'm on them, if that makes sense).
I'm just worried about you hon. This seems to have hit your particularly hard. You have done everything possible. Your son is going to be fine. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 09/08/2004 - 10:14pm
mcmom's picture
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Joined: 06/15/2004 - 09:00

ALLERGYMOM, how old is your child with PA? Maybe for the first week or so, you might want to have him wear a sticker? I know there are stickers out there that say "don't feed me, I'm food allergic" or words to that effect. You can always make one (I'm planning to do that for an afterschool activity my ds is starting next week, since there will be a lot of kids there I don't want to allow any room for error).

Posted on: Wed, 09/08/2004 - 10:26pm
mommyofmatt's picture
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Joined: 03/12/2004 - 09:00

Allergymom [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] I'm sorry the second day didn't go well. That's a good idea to give them a copy of the Nathan Walters story. That's gotta sink in!
I'm not sure if you've done this already, but would it be possible to having an information meeting with the entire daycare staff since it sounds like the people watching him could change more often at the daycare?
Let's hope it was a one time kink that doesn't ever happen again!! {{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}

Posted on: Wed, 09/08/2004 - 10:47pm
turlisa's picture
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Joined: 08/29/2004 - 09:00

Just wanted to give you insight to what the teacher/aide/whatever she was, may have been thinking. [b]not to ok what she did, bc it is not ok,[/b] but to give you the arguments you can use when you go to the meeting.
First of all, I dont think anybody that doesnt have a child with PA knows the severity of it, unless they really take the time to learn, and in giving all the other kids popsicles she probably thought "I cant give everybody else one and not give him one, that will make him feel left out. A popsicle shouldnt hurt"
In all actuality, she probably felt bad because she felt like she would be excluding him if she didnt offer what she thought had to be safe.
again, I am not saying that it was ok...It definately was not! but you can address the issue that if she thinks he's going to feel excluded, then dont, because HE knows the SEVERITY of his allergy, and HE would rather be ALIVE than "included".
I hope everything works out. Hang in there!
Lisa

Posted on: Wed, 09/08/2004 - 11:02pm
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Would the aide have given a popscicle to a diabetic child had the parent requested no food unless it is from the parent? (Personally? If a parent sent an item that wasn't "ok" per the label..........I wouldn't [i]expect[/i] the child to be allowed to eat it. But maybe that's just me) You know, that prior knowledge/to the best of one's knowledge thing and acting in lieu of a parent. But maybe that's just me.
I just packed my cub's snack. I've got some things that I regularly feed him, but do not come with individual labels on the packages (but on the box), and some items that are not on the "suggested" list for the classroom.
#1 I'm not sending in the prepackaged item without a label (for snack or food in the classroom). I fully expect it would be sent home. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
#2 I'm not sending in the prepackaged item that is not on the "suggested" list, (for snack or food in the classroom) even tho it has a label, and would be "ok", since I really want to "go with the program" and take the worry out of my cub eating for the teachers and aides and staff surrounding him.
I'd sincerely hope those surrounding my cub would err on that side of caution. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
General Disclaimer: I am not offering advice in any manner or form. Just describing my own highly individual, personal, and unique situation.

Posted on: Thu, 09/09/2004 - 12:29am
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Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

I think that some/lots of people that work at day care or nursery school see mothers as big bags of worry. And they see themselves as the professionals there to show us the correct way to do things.
That makes it possible for them to discount many things we say and ultimately make mistakes.
When my kids were in nursery school we came up against that attitude many times. Not with PA but with separation issues. They were just the experts and I was there to learn at their feet, or so they thought.
They gave no credence to maternal instinct besides the fact they saw my children for three hours three days a week and I was their mother and with them 24/7!
If I knew then what I know now about PA I would have never left my son with them! I recently called the school to ask if they had any PA kids there and was met with such hositilty....."Yes we do and her mother is making us crazy" Again that we know better than you attitude.
My own MIL has decided that DS is "too nervous" (he is not one bit nervous) and I feed into that and that is why he has PA. I have no doubt that she would have tried to feed him PB to prove me wrong. This happened once at a "friend's" house and I blasted that mother to kingdom come.
Why bother when the rest of the world are experts?
Allergymom you have the right idea. Get in there and take a look again and offer them materials to educate themselves.
Unfortunately this is only the beginning but it does get better. You see that many people here have come across caring intelligent individuals working with children, you will too.
Peggy

Posted on: Thu, 09/09/2004 - 1:10am
California Mom's picture
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Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Allergymom, I am hopeful that this was just a truly honest mistake. Yes, it was a horrible mistake; don't get me wrong.
But, I hope that it will get sorted out and will not happen again. I'm so glad that the director understands and "gets it". She must make certain that this information gets to everyone on her staff.
{{{hugs}}}
Miriam

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