My son is in Kindergarten. There are 2 peanut allergic kids in his class. The teacher has banned anything made with peanuts or in a facility that processes peanuts. Why can't the other 22 kids in the class have the item and the 2 have something else?

Sometimes that seems like the easy way to get around that situation but some kids have a severity that is so high that they can't even be in the same room with the product. I'm 15 and I was born with the allergy. So many people have thought that if they allow the other kids to still eat whatever it was and just give me something else that the problem was solved. My tolerance is very low and when I'm in the same room with it I have to be moved to the other side of the room. Personally,I don't like to be treated different than the other kids and I think you start to feel like that more as you get older. There have been many times where snacks were brought in at club meetings or things like that but the others couldn't eat anything because there was some form of peanuts in it. It makes me feel terrible when they can't eat it because of me. I feel even worse when people blame it on me when they can't eat the snacks.

As a mom with three sons who love peanut butter and one who has apparently developed a peanut allergy recently, we have thought about this issue in our home. Is it fair that the others should do without just because one is allergic? I have decided a great big YES! What if when one son was eating his PB toast a trace of PB got on his finger. Then he touched the chair, or the wash cloth,or towel that my PA son later used. My PA son could die. This would be terribly devastating for both sons and the rest of us! Life isn't fair. At least my other sons can have PB at their friend's houses.

Honestly, I read this question last night and had to refrain from answering it then...I've taken the time to consider the fact that this question may be coming from a true desire to gain information. My answer would be that the 22 children in the class without a peanut allergy will not die literally or figuratively from eating a peanut free snack. On the other hand, if there are 22 children in a room eating peanuts and peanut butter there is a very good chance the 2 peanut allergic children will suffer a life threatening allergic reaction through cross contamintion (sharing the same supplies, door knobs,etc)which could, quite literally, kill them. And really, who wants to make a 4 or 5 year old sit by themselves and eat something different from the 22 other people in the room- would you want to see your child singled out like that?

If a personal consequence helps one to understand, perhaps the parents of the other 22 children should contemplate the psychological effect of having their kindergartener witness firsthand a classmate experience an anaphylactic reaction (VERY traumatic for all). Those two PA children have to live without(and in fear of)peanut products all the time. Is it really that much of an inconvenience to require their classmates to do without peanut treats during school hours?

I'm sorry I gave you the benefit of the doubt...my gut reaction to your question was right on. You were only whining b/c you were being inconvenienced by two innocent 5 year olds who have a life threatening food allergy. I'm sure they're very sorry to make life so difficult for you.

How would you feel if it was your child with the peanut allergy and the other parents were behaving as you are? It really isn't that difficult to find snacks or food for that matter that is safe for a child with a PA to eat and most of the time it is the same snacks your child would enjoy as well. My 2 year old son has a peanut allergy and I would be appalled if a parent in his class room when he starts school would be so insensitive to the fact that he could die if he were to touch something that a child eating something with peanuts touch and then put his hand in his mouth or where ever and had a massive reaction. You should really put yourself in the shoes of the parents of these children with PA and how would you feel if the other parents didn't care if the snack they sent killed your child.

Would you send your child to school if there was a loaded gun in the classroom left unattended and within reach? No? Well, the rest of us don't want to either.

Do you really want to give your child the message that their desires are more important than their classmates lives?

Teach compassion...it is one of life's most important lessons.

fablehill--I truly understand your frustration. I often ask if I would feel the same if my son did not have life threatening food allergies. From a compassion standpoint-I truly hope I would b/c I live each day with people who have so very little compassion over the situation and it really hurts.

I get that it is a big pain to have to read labels, pack snacks that are only safe and peanut free, etc. I really do get it.

I can answer your question a hundred ways but the one definitive answer I can give you is that it's the law.

Life threatening food allergies are considered a hidden disability under section 504 law and the Americans with disabilities act.

This means that children with life threatening food allergies or any other disability must be treated equally in school, and must receive a learning environment and education equal to that of their non disabled peers. They must not be excluded or discriminated against by law.

That's the black and white answer and it is what it is.

For those of us struggling with real reactions from life threatening food allergies we can assure you there is no hype involved.

You mention that these kids are not airborne allergic. I don't know whether you know that for a fact or are just assuming. Technically under privacy laws you are not even supposed to know who the allergic children are or what their circumstances are due to their privacy and protection.

My son is not airborne allergic that we know of but IS allergic if he touches a surface with an allergen and then his eyes, nose or mouth.

So if there are peanut products in his classroom and kids get residue on their hands and touch the tables, desks, chairs, bathroom door knob--and then my son touches those items and touches his eyes nose or mouth (which all kids do) he could have an anaphylactic reaction.

Children are "immersed" in their classroom and it should be safe and inclusive for them.

I would ask you to think about what you are asking and think about whether you would be okay with it for your child.

You say these kids should eat their snack at their own table. Would you want your child to have to do that? What if the other allergic child is out? Would it be okay for your child to have to sit alone each and every day? Would you feel okay with your child going to a classroom each day where her allergen is present and be fearful of a reaction?

I think it's easy for us to pass judgment. To say what another person, family, or child should do.

I encourage you to really take pause and think about the situation, what you are asking, and what/why you are so upset about.

It's just food/snack. Is it really worth it to be so upset about it? Is your inconvenience worth more than a child's life?

If you really truly don't understand, don't want to, and don't want to learn--then you probably should find another forum/website to ask your question in.

But I hope you asked your question because you truly were seeking information/education.

Ruth

I can't offer any other thoughts or advice except to take things one step at a time. These things are not always clear or black and white--but hopefully you will get to the bottom of this soon. how to get pregnant fast

i have hear of this and thought oh yeah one child shouldnt be able to change the entire class. skip ahead. MY child is that peanut allergic child. now my view has changed. it scares me beacuse even touching a peanut can cause her a reaction. some comments are so right i did pass judgement on the "pushy" parents that wanted all to change. now i know i was uneducated. peanut residue can kill these kids. it isnt worth it. keep the snacks peanut free or dont have em. NO ONE should be excluded out

Is it that important for your child to eat peanut products at the expense/life of another child? I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous debate. A CHILD WITH A PA CAN D I E!!! Is that so hard to understand???! How about YOUR son sits at another table ostracized from the rest of the class!? "HYPE TO FACT"!!!!???? What kind of a human being are you? These are CHILDREN we're talking about! Have some damn humanity and respect for life. I don't understand people like you that are so obsessed with your children eating peanuts...there are other foods, really...

A few things,
If you are that upset that you have to provide a peanut free snack, DON"T DO IT. I am sure that the mother's of the children with the peanut allergy would more than willingly take over your snack day. I know I would, it is safer for the child with some peoples attitudes.
It is not that hard to find peanut free snack, and snacks that are made in peanut free facilites, we find them every day of our lives...not just one!
This is the type of attitude that we dealt with all of the time...there is no hype when a child can die. Mine does have air borne reactions, and you know what, they could to, the allergies can change.
The attitude presented is the very reason we homeschool.

It is hard enough to worry about the physical harm that can come to your allergic child in the school setting, but what is frequently missed is the extreme psychological damage that occurs when people are so self-centered that they believe that their need for a quick fix is more important than another person's life and well-being. It is so sad to realize that we live in a society where people are not affected by the potential death of a child. There is no pain involved with taking 5 extra minutes to read a label in a grocery store and find something that can save a life rather than take one.
If I only had to do that on snack days, and not everyday, I would be so grateful.

Personally, I don't have kids with allergies but I also don't have a problem with sending in peanut-free snacks. However, I do have a problem with the guidelines I just received from my child's school. There are only 6-8 safe items, they are all name brands and they are requiring "snack packs" or individually wrapped items so they can see the original packaging. So while I do not want any child to have a peanut reaction, I also do not think it's fair that I get to have an added expense due to another child's allergy. I have no problem with buying Pepperidge Farm Goldfish (for instance), but I think I should be allowed to buy in bulk and package myself to save money. I don't think I should be limited to just individually packaged string cheese or cheese sticks when block cheese is much cheaper and can be cut in slices and sent to school in a baggie. Mind you, this is not a group snack situation, this is just what we're allowed to send for our own child's snack.
I think if you have a child with a severe allergy you need to provide an EXPANSIVE list of items that can be sent in and you also need to have a degree of trust that we parents will follow it and not require the majority of us who do not have allergies to buy the more expensive and wasteful options. If you want me to be considerate of your situation, you need to be considerate of mine.

it is frustrating to have to buy small expensive snack packs - and my son is severely allergic to peanuts. So I understand your frustration. It seems schools these days run the gament from not being strict at all, to being a little too restrictive. There probably is a "happy medium" schools just don't know what it is yet.

I do believe that people put way too much focus on food - regardless of allergies at all. No wonder the obesity rates in children is skyrocketing. What happened to a good old apple, banana or grapes for lunch?

A BIG THANK YOU to all the parents that understand and comply with these rules to keep our children alive and safe.

On a side note - someone mentioned expense. Our last ER bill was over $900.00 and that was with insurance. And we've been there twice, once was from cross contamination. So because your child ate peanut butter I had to pay $900. How's that for fair?

cervonil - While I don't want to argue with you as you seem to agree about the snack pack thing, it's not exactly fair to say "because your child ate peanut butter I had to pay $900". Your child had to go to the ER because your child has a peanut allergy. Just like my daughter had to go to the ER because she fell and needed stitches, NOT because another child left out the chair that she fell over. Or the child that has to go to the ER because he gets hit by a line drive on the baseball field, NOT because another child hit him with a ball. Or the child that has to go the ER because he got sick and dehydrated, NOT because another child got him sick. It's not fair to blame anyone else for the reason your child had to go the ER. Many children have to go to the ER due to the fault of someone else, but we don't blame them for it. Stuff happens.

I'm not saying it would be his fault, as "accidents" do happen, but with precautions this type of accident can be limited. If my child kept pushing your child down, and you said to me "please tell your son to stop pushing my child. He almost got seriously hurt, and could get seriously hurt next time". I would totally agree and tell my son to stop pushing him. I wouldn't tell you to tell your 5 year old son to suck it up and deal with it. Our actions, both negative and positive affect the people around us. I think we need to teach our children compassion. I don't remember your previous post exactly so I'm not picking on you specifically, just talking about attitudes in general. The problem with a lot of people not being familiar with food allergies is they think"well tell that kid not to eat peanuts - that simple. they don't understand the danger of peanut butter residue getting on hands and being transferred to desk, school supplies etc. And I understand, it's a totally bizarre and uncomprehensable thing to grasp. I still can't believe it myself. But when you've had to stab your screaming, crying, or barely breathing child with an epi pen and rush him to the ER it drives the point right home. Again, I know you didn't even mention this stuff, so I'm not talking about you, so please don't take it that way. I'm just talking about people in general.

oh I also wanted to mention with the snack thing, I just sent my son to a very strict catholic preschool. They are peanut /nut free. They do ask that you check labels and do not send things that say May contain peanut/tree nuts -BUT the snack list would make you happy I think. Tell me what you think? It offers healthy choices and a nice variety. It's just half day so there is only snacks.

Fresh, dried or canned fruit
Pretzels
Cheese
cereal bars
Crackers (any kind except Peanut Butter)
Yogurt
Cold Cuts
Veggies/Dip
Bagels
Dry Cereal
Mini Muffins
Flavored Rice Cakes
Popcorn
Vanilla Wafers

I am 23 and have suffered with a peanut allergy since I was 5. It has gotten worse over the years and it is so severe that being in a room with peanuts can give me an allergic reaction so I carry an epi-pen. I got married this past June and was staying with my parents. My dad absent-mindedly wasn't thinking and cracked peanuts, ate them, then gave me a kiss on the cheek. Needless to say, the day before my wedding I spent the majority of the day being monitored by a doctor after using my epi-pen. As my husband and me were coming home from our honeymoon we requested that the stewardess make an announcement about refraining from eating peanuts on the flight. A little while later I started getting itchy and could smell peanuts. I got up to use the restroom and when I came back the stewardess was talking to a man. Turns out my husband and the lady next to us spotted this guy literally trying to "sneak" recess peanut butter cups under the tray table. When the stewardess asked him to stop, he put up a huge fight. Apparently he felt "entitled" to do whatever he wanted because it wasn't his problem. I am now getting my master's degree and the professors have been so supportive that in each of my classes they have asked people to refrain from eating peanuts or nuts in the class. And you know what? All the students agreed and showed compassion. As an adult I can tell you that it is not easy watching people have to adjust their routine just so you can stay alive. It gets tiring, and I am sick of being an inconvenience to them. The thing is, every single person in the classroom is supportive because they have learned to put themselves in my shoes. I encourage all of the parents out there, whether allergic to peanuts or not, to teach your kids what it means to be compassionate, and to truly care about others even if it means not getting things that they feel "entitled" to. I also encourage you to emphasize to your kids that while allergies may be an inconvenience, the child is definitely NOT. I am thankful every single day for the life I have been given because while it may not seem like a big deal, a severe allergy can take your life away in a matter of moments.

How many people die each year from an allergic reaction to peanuts?

There are about 30,000 anaphylactic reactions to foods treated in the ER each year, with about 150-200 deaths per year. Thankfully epi-pens are available for severe allergies to foods that by far decrease the number of deaths that there otherwise may be.

1. Because of the varying severities of the peanut allergy among different ages, sometimes it takes a schoolwide ban and not just isolating the allergic individuals. There are airlines that no longer offer peanuts due to allergies. There are baseball teams offering peanut free game nights. Some people are so sensitive that they have asthma attacks or anaphylactic shock from just inhaling it.
2. Kindergartners in particular want to fit in with their new classmates and peers. If there are two who can't have something that everyone else can have, the best option is to ban that thing so that all the children can feel a sense of belonging. It's the reason why so many schools now have specific brand names for supplies listed - i.e., child must have the 24 ct. box of Crayola brand crayons. It's about having uniformity and about allowing every child to have the chance to fit in. It's hard enough when a child goes to school or to a new school for the first time. Must their allergies be the reason for them being treated differently? Not when it's over something so controllable. And banning certain food allergens - such as peanuts which have the highest rate of producing a reaction by inhalation - is the only fair and reasonable thing to do in most cases.

I keep peanut butter as a standby for those days my kids don't eat in the cafeteria. It's easy and it keeps for a long time. One of my kids maybe brings their lunch once a week. I am not going to buy a package of lunch meat where most of it is going to go bad and get thrown away or force my child to buy a lunch at school she doesn't like and is going to throw it away. That is going to add up to a lot of money and a lot of wasted lunch meat. I do tell my kids that they need to sit far away (if there is anyone in their class) from that person in the cafeteria then immediately wash their hands afterwards just in case their is someone allergic to peanuts around. I am allergic to chocolate and I either leave the room or deal with the reaction if I choose to stay. I refuse to make other people alter what they do or eat because of me.

cando - I think that's wonderful that you are teaching your children to be careful and concerned for others when eating peanut butter. Most people don't understand at all the danger of it, they never even think about it - I certainly never did before last year! And to make your kids wash their hands?! Wow - not only limiting spreading germs, but doing what they can as compassionate human beings. I applaud you! Unfortunately many parents and children are not that way at all.

I wish that peanut butter and peanut residue would glow like it was radioactive because for a person with a peanut allergy peanut butter, et al so others could understand how pervasive peanut contamination is in a classroom.

My daughter has a severe reaction - couldn't breathe after playing with a toy at a friends home that is a "peanut butter" house. You could not see the peanut butter oils, you could not smell peanut butter on it and all she did was rub her eye or like many 5 year-olds, pick her nose and within moments her face swelled and she couldn't breathe. This is why other children cannot bring peanut butter into a classroom. If a child who recently ate peanut butter wiped his hands on his shirt, or touched his or his neighbors chair, or any other common surface, or read a book and his hands were not washed thoroughly, or the janitor cleans the allergic child's desk with the same towel he used to clean a peanut butter mess from another table and that child so much as rubs his eye, picks his nose, or eats his lunch on that same table/desk ... any of those things could kill that child. Just like playing with a toy that at some point in the past was contaminated by hands with a minute amount of peanut butter almost killed her. This can happen in your child's classroom. Do you really want to be responsible for the death of someone else's child, or place that burden on your child if he learned that he might have caused that child to become sick or die? Is a convenient snack really worth it? What if it were your child?

Every reaction my daughter has had had involved "incidental contact" with a peanut contaminated food or surfaces.

Recently, a 13 year-old girl died after eating food at school that was contaminated by peanuts. http://allergicliving.com/index.php/2010/12/20/anaphylaxis-tragedy-for-chicago-teen/

Considering how unhealthy the vast majority of processed foods are, all you need do is chose whole foods - like raw fruit and veggies, cheese sticks, yogurt, etc.

My daughter's school is entirely nut-free and although it can require more work to come up with healthy lunches, it isn't hard. I typically pack fruit like apple slices with cinnamon, clementines, watermelon cubes and fresh veggies like carrot sticks with dip, bagels with cream cheese, ham and cheese quesadillas, soup with bread for dipping, or pasta with red sauce and cheese ... And I very frequently bring after school snacks to share and I have become proficient at making nut-free desserts that everyone loves.

Sunbutter (sunflower seed butter) is the peanut substitute we use and it can be found at most grocery stores, health food stores and even Target. It is delicious and most kids can't even tell the difference. So try it out on your kids and if you would like some "treats" that are safe and delicious try a company called Vermont Nut Free (http://www.vermontnutfree.com). We buy their granola bars in bulk, as well as their chocolates and "treats".

I hope you can learn to have compassion for these children. You can see how frustrating it is to find nut-free snacks. Imagine living your life in fear that something your kid ate could kill him. Imagine being that child. It's very tough. Good luck!

I love the idea of having it glow! Then all of the people - kids and adults - would know what they can and can't have without having to wonder about it.

I am aware that there is possibly a law about to go into effect that will aid schools in setting up allergy action plans. What happened to the middle schooler recently should not happen again.

But really, the only way to ensure it won't is to go entirely peanut free.