Son invited to 1st birthday party

zoya000, imo I would ask the mom if there can be another treat put out. Perhaps if you gave her a list of safe options she could go with one of those. Personally, I would not feel comfortable with my dd going and she is ten. I just think that would be impossible for three year olds to not get it all over kwim? On the positive side, maybe your co-worker overlooked the m&m's and would be happy to do a switch for your ds's safety.

I try my best not to tell other parents what foods to put out, or not put out, for their child's birthday party, that occurs out of the school environment. If they choose something unsafe for my child to be around, then it's up to me to attend along with my child, or to decline the invitation.

At age 3, kids do get grabby. If you were to go and the M&M's are there, I'd watch over your son like a hawk. But I'd preface the entire event with a conversation with the child about what is safe and not safe at the party, and what you as a the parent will be doing (watching closely) to help him stay safe and have fun. Every situation is an opportunity for our children to learn proper allergy management skills.

But of course, sometimes events are just too unsafe to attend. I'm not sure if plain m&m's fit into that category or not for you. It's all about his age I guess.

I just wanted to add that I have a friend with a severe peanut allergy and she has tried (in the past, in ignorance) eating plain M&Ms several times. When she does her mouth starts to itch and she has a mild reaction. She has become more careful after a near death experience eating at a Thai restraunt and doesn't eat may contains anymore. Just wanted to let you know that if I were you I wouldn't allow your little one to have even the plain ones, they are obviously at risk for cross contamination. My little one is 5 and he knows better than to grab at the bowl of candy until he asks me. However a three year old probably doesn't understand. You'll have to watch him like a hawk, like the previous poster said, or you could offer to bring a bowl of some safe candy like starburst? I hope it goes well!

When is the party? Do you have time to order soem from Vermont Nut free chocolates? Maybe you could offer to replace the m & M's with those or skittles.... Other wise If you are not comfortable withthat I would talk to your daughter befoere hand and then watch her like a hawk. I agree with the last poster... I would not want someone telling me that I can or can't serve something in my own house. So I try not to do that. But I have offered to make the dessert... or make the cupcakes for the class... then I know they are safe!

good luck!

Yep, I was going to suggest the same thing: offer to bring Vermont Nut Free Skippers instead of putting out plain M&Ms.

Good luck--let us know how it goes!