Peanut allergy vs. low blood sugar

Virginia's mom, that sounds like a horrible situation. Have you talked to the teacher and the principal? What is the schools position? All I can say is good luck, and I'm glad I'm not in your shoes.

I hate to say this, but she may have a point about the seriousness of handling her daughter's issues... though with the other GS situation, it sounds like she's also just being nasty to you because of the PA... attention seeking behavior, perhaps? Afraid of you stealing the limelight, perhaps? Is either of you new to the school/area? Hmmmmmm... I digress.

I think in light of the situation, you should enlist the aid of your allergist in addressing this problem (especially since it seems that she is somehow out to "show you" how much worse diabetes is than PA... *sigh*) before it gets any worse!
I think you should set up a conference with the school nurse, principal, and both families to discuss a workable solution to the problem. This is why you need to have your allergist back up your family via reaction history and anaphylaxis risk. THEN maybe the other family will concede that pb might be best reserved for times other than school- or at least be willing to understand why it is imperative that it not come into the classroom. This might make it much more clear whether this is merely a "food preference" on their part or if this is truly medically advised by THEIR endocrine specialist. (If their child is diabetic, then they should be seeing one, just as we all have allergists.)
Also - do you currently have a 504 plan in place? If not, this may be the way to address this.

Such a meeting would set you up with the school and this child's family as attempting to be as reasonable as possible- and also communicates to the other family in no uncertain terms what "PA" really means.

Even those who can privately say "I don't care what they want me to do or why..." have a lot of trouble looking another parent in the eye and saying it. (Takes a lot of nerve to say "I don't care if it kills your kid- this is about MY kid.") But remember that in this situation, we also need to be careful what WE say for the same reason- be sensitive. (Even if you have to grit your teeth to do it.)

Something else to think about - this other mom is probably going to outlive her daughter, and will most likely watch her have horrible debilitating long-term complications like kidney failure and blindness. As a parent, what could be worse than knowing you'll be seeing your child suffer like that in their twenties and thirties? (Lisa, I apologize for being so blunt, because I know it might be hurtful to think about this stuff.)

Honestly, we should feel that we have something in common with the parents of diabetic children- that same haunted feeling is common to both of us, and we will all have to struggle deeply with separation issues since consequences of irresponsibility are the same- in our case they can be immediate and in the case of a diabetic child, they can be delayed by years (but no less real). We in some ways have it easier b/c our kids KNOW what the consequences of ingestion are if they have anaphylaxis history- diabetic kids often pooh pooh the consequences of chronic poor control because when you're ten, thirty is impossibly "old".

I hope you aren't irritated- I just seem to have an extra helping of empathy for other parents, and I always try to understand what might be motivating someone else. I have a real soft place in my heart for diabetic families in particular for my own reasons.

Make no mistake- I think you need to get pb out of the classroom before other kids start asking why they can't have it too. You also have an opportunity to learn and educate simultaneously- that is the good part. The bad news is that you might need to compromise. (Can one of the children be moved into a different classroom?)

[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

The peanut butter mother is very manipulative & controlling. There are many other foods a person can eat for low blood sugar without endangering a child that has PA.

She has no right to endanger your child.

Fight for your child's rights.

[This message has been edited by cathlina (edited May 07, 2003).]

Hypoglycemia and diabetes are not the same thing. We have not been told the cause of this child's hypoglycemia. Therefore we cannot accurately say that the mom will probably outlive the child or that the child is likely to develop kidney failure or blindness.

Virginia Mom
This woman you describe does sound unreasonable. However, I know there have been discussions here before about this issue and I remember reading something that could be a solution for your situation. The discussion involved a school with diabetic chidren who required peanut butter to control their blood sugar levels. When they needed this snack, they went to the nurse's office, had a specific amount of peanut butter on a spoon, then washed their hands before returning to the classroom. This method accommodates both the diabetic and peanut-allergic child's needs.
Sarah