\"Over Reactions\" and Bans

9 replies [Last post]
By GinaC on Wed, 08-29-07, 12:52

Thought you might like to see this

[url="http://www.allergymoms.com/modules/wordpress/index.php?p=257"]http://www.allergymoms.com/modules/wordpress/index.php?p=257[/url]

Here is part of a comment I got from a kindergarten teacher on accommodating children with food allergies.

"If I send a peanut butter sandwhich to school with my daughter, most likely she will be the one sitting by herself or singled out and she isn't the one with the problem. This is a cold statement, but at what point is the allergy so severe that the parents say (or should say) I will keep them at home and make other arrangements, rather than inconviencing everyone else? "

Take care,
Gina
[url="http://www.AllergyMoms.com"]www.AllergyMoms.com[/url]

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Gina Clowes
AllergyMoms.com

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By on Wed, 08-29-07, 18:01

Did you want us to comment on what the woman said? Quite frankly, if you're blogging about your child's allergy (allergies), then I'd say you have to expect some response that you may not care for.

As with any of the discussion forums where these type of comments have been made (and have been for years), we're talking about the world wide net here - so many people and their ability to type whatever they want without seeing you face to face.

In a thread last week about something that was read on a discussion forum (parenting group), I posted that no, I just don't read them anymore.

For me, personally, if you posted more responses from what you get from blogging about your child's allergy, I won't read those either.

Absolutely nothing to do with what you're doing, but what I need to do for my own emotional well-being (and therefore that of my children).

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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There but for the Grace of God, go I.

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By GinaC on Thu, 08-30-07, 00:55

I dont know. I guess I still believe that if you can really get non-allergy parents to step into our shoes for a second, then they will be more compassionate and wont consider it such a burden to buy different snacks or bring a different lunch.

I think I need to devote my energy elsewhere though. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img])

Take care,
Gina

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Gina Clowes
AllergyMoms.com

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By on Thu, 08-30-07, 05:15

Gina C., I'm not saying that at all - that you should devote your energy elsewhere. Mine, in the early years of the journey, was advocating at schools.

It's just that if you're going to get hurtful or upsetting responses from people that affect your psyche - there's the possibility that they may affect your child as well.

If you feel that you're educating and really getting through to more "non-believers" (if you will) than you have naysayers - then go for it!

There's nothing *wrong* with it.

As much as I say that *I* can't read the negative stuff, a LOT of people can, KWIM? And a lot of members can join in on your blog and help further educate.

I think a lot of us feel that we have to do something about education of others - I chose one avenue, you chose another.

Besides, I always considered PA.com to be my blog. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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There but for the Grace of God, go I.

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By PAMomInPA on Thu, 08-30-07, 15:53

Although it sometimes stings, I find it helpful to read and hear what others not dealing with food allergies think about food allergies, bans, etc. It gives me some perspective and helps prepare me to deal with these people down the line.

This posting was helpful in several ways:

*While I was shocked to see that attitude from a kindergarten teacher, I need to know that people like that may be teaching my child somewhere down the line.

*I'm not as eloquent as some so Gina's well-worded argument might come out of my own mouth somewhere down the line when someone presents an argument along those same lines.

*There was a comment that looks like it's from the father of the 13-year old girl who died after eating at Subway. That reinforced my avoidance of that place, one of only two fast-food joints in town.

So I could stick my head in the sand but I feel I get a lot of value out of reading discussions about peanut allergy, even when there's negativity involved.

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By Corvallis Mom on Fri, 08-31-07, 01:21

I agree [i]wholeheartedly[/i]-- this is precisely why I almost always READ such 'discussions'.... but I also see Cindy's point, which is why I very seldom post links to them [i]here[/i] anymore. There are times when (for whatever reason) I just feel too vulnerable, beaten up, or whatever over my child's MFA to handle it with the mental aplomb that it necessitates. KWIM?

Sometimes I read those comments and it just [i]destroys[/i] me to read that some otherwise rational, sane adult could [i]honestly think those things about my child-- MY PRECIOUS CHILD-- the most beautiful thing that I have ever experienced in my life....[/i] Horrifying. Unthinkable. It leaves me without the strength to reply-- just saps my inner reserves. After a certain point of dealing with all that comes with parenting special needs, you already know all the awful things that people hide in their darkest hearts... you don't need to read them anymore to 'remind yourself'-- things like that are etched in my mind without any additional effort. Permanently tattooed.

Quote:
[i]God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change....
The courage to change the things I can....
And the wisdom to know the difference.[/i]

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By on Sun, 09-02-07, 15:03

I think, for me, I get enough of peoples' comments in *real* life. When I read the part about the Kindergarten teacher with the children, it reminded me of something a fellow downstairs had said to me last August. He was dating a woman, who was a Kindergarten teacher with a child, and she had some pretty strong comments (which he relayed to me, knowing full well I have a PA child) about having to deal with a PA child in her class. It was as if it was the same woman, KWIM?

I don't think I'm alone or special in that regard, I think all of us get comments along the way from everyone and anyone. So, since I have to deal with it in *real* life, with people that know my son (and people that are his family) - that's enough for me.

I've pounded my head against the brick wall too many times now - can't you tell? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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There but for the Grace of God, go I.

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By on Sun, 09-02-07, 15:15

Oh, and I don't think I'm sticking my head in the sand by not reading these things on the internet, especially if you read my last post.

One particular in-law (not sure of the useage of that word anymore, but it's easier) doesn't mind telling me what anyone has to say about anything - PA included and she knows a lot of Mothers in the neighbourhood, so I get a strong gauge of how the community is going PA wise - whether issues at school tick people off, etc.

That's what I mean. I get enough of it in *real* life - I only have a certain quota for how much I can take.

I do think it is interesting to monitor to see if there are any changes in attitudes through the years and if they do affect our children in any way.

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Groups: None
By chanda4 on Sat, 09-08-07, 22:49

Quote:Originally posted by GinaC:
[b]This is a cold statement, but at what point is the allergy so severe that the parents say (or should say) I will keep them at home and make other arrangements, rather than inconviencing everyone else? "

[/b]

My sons allergies are *that* severe....but it's because of *him* that I continue to fight for him. If he looked at me and said "mom, enough, just homeschool me so I am not a burdon to these people anymore" then I would. I hate every minute of it, that he *gave up* that he *lost his fight*....because this is his life, his world and I want him to make the best of it. Luckily, so far, he wants to be at school, he wants to be around these kids, these teachers....he knows I will do what I can to make it as safe as I can too. He doesn't like it, but what choice does he have??? I know the non-allergic always come back to this refernce...."just keep him in a bubble"....but I can't, he wants to live life just like the next kid does.

And I *DO* enjoy reading these blogs, these opinions...and I will fight those people even with my last breath, because it's for my kid(s).

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Chanda(mother of 4)
Sidney-8 1/2(beef and chocolate, grasses, molds, weeds, guinea pig, hamster & asthma)
Jake-6 1/2(peanut, all tree nuts, all seeds(sesame, sunflower, poppy, pine nut) beef, chicken, eggs, coconut, green beans/all beans, trees, grasses, weeds, molds, cats, dogs, guinea pig & eczema & asthma)
Carson-4 (peanut, tree nuts, milk, soy, egg, beef and pork, cats, dog, guinea pig, hamster, grass, mold, dust mite and EE)
Savannah-1 1/2 (milk, beef and egg, dog(avoiding peanuts, tree nuts, strawberries, seeds, legumes and corn)

__________________

Chanda(mother of 4)
Sidney-8 1/2(beef and chocolate, grasses, molds, weeds, guinea pig, hamster & asthma)
Jake-6 1/2(peanut, all tree nuts, all seeds(sesame, sunflower, poppy, pine nut) beef, chicken, eggs, coconut, green beans/all beans, trees, grasses,

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By GinaC on Wed, 09-12-07, 00:58

Just to clarify, Paul the father who commented on the blog, did have a daughter Emily, allergic to peanuts, who died after eating at a fast food restaurant.

It was kind of him to comment. As hard as it is for parents like us to read the harsh words of others, I cant even begin to imagine how hurtful it is for him--to have people still dismissing the severity of food allergies and the accommdations necessary to keep allergic children safe.

Take care,
Gina
AllergyMoms.com

__________________

Gina Clowes
AllergyMoms.com

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