need help on handling wedding

I don't know what kind of reception they are having, but I wouldn't really count on the caterer understanding what you are talking about. When we go to these type of things we usually being my son his own food, and if it's the type of situation where they can accomodate him by making some plain pasta or something, that's fine.

If you bring your own food and don't leave your child unattended (to pick up some stray morsels) you should be OK (as long as they aren't serving shelled peanuts or PB&J as an appetizer!).

Have fun!

Amy

I would stay away from the wedding cake... it would (most likely) be dangerous too.

I am going to my cousin's 50th wedding anniversary this summer. I told her I couldn't come if they were having peanuts. She graciously has decided not to have nuts.

[This message has been edited by cathlina (edited May 26, 2003).]

We are also going to a wedding this summer, we are bringing our own food for the boys McDonalds, I figure it will be a bigger hit than a 5 course meal anyhow. We are also bringing our own treats for the kids it is an Italien wedding so there will be lots of pastries and food on tables, I'm just crossing my fingers he dosen't help himself to cookies.

We also went to a wedding with the kids and brought Happy Meals. Before returning the invitation we called and said how excited we were about the wedding and how much we wanted to be there. We then said that because of the life-threatening nature of Lauren's peanut allergy, we would like to bring her own food and asked if that was OK with them. Of course they Ok'd it. I did it to open the conversation to peanuts and made it appear it was out of respect for them. Went off without a hitch.

We went to a wedding six months after our son was diagnosed. He was the ring bearer for his cousin when he was 3 1/2. We simulated the meal as much as possible and bought lots of goodies for dessert.

We left early though. The dessert cups had peanuts strewn on top. Our niece told us there would be no nuts, but sometimes you have to expect the unexpected. I don't think she realized, but it was time to go anyway so it worked out fine. She even had special VNF baggies for the kids when we left. Very thoughtful.

I don't mind bringing my dd's own food to a wedding. Here's my problem: almost every wedding I have been to around here has mixed nuts on the cake table for everyone to help themselves to. We have yet to be invited to a wedding that includes kids since my dd's diagnosis but I am sure it will come up. I would hate to exclude her, especially if it is a family wedding but I don't see how this environment could possibly be safe. We will have the same issue with any sort of graduation party/baby shower/etc. People around here just put nuts on any cake table.
Many times I would not feel comfortable asking them to remove the nuts because it is someone's house who we will never be in again and I think that it is too much to ask of a casual acquaintance.
My dd is only 2 and is likely to be touched by everyone in the place. Do other people go to such occasions and just watch their kids really carefully or do you not let your kids go or do you ask for it to be nut-free?

[This message has been edited by Nicole1401 (edited June 01, 2003).]

My son is 18 and PA. Any time he goes out to an event or a party or a get together that is planned, he calls or emails the host and asks that they avoid all peanut products. He suggests they read labels for surprise peanuts too. This has worked every time and brought awareness to all of his friends and our family.

Even for a casual acquaintance whom you will never see again, I would feel free to ask them to remove the obvious nuts from a party.

This is such a small thing for them to do and most of them have never heard of PA or TNA and are glad to help.

Now if it were the cake or main course it would be different. If they were planning to serve Thai food we would just stay home.

We always give others the chance to accommodate us since in many other ways we accommodate others every day.

Peggy

My elder son went to a Bar Mitzvah last night and a boy at his table turned out to be allergic to PN & TN. They had a special meal for him, as well as a special dessert. I don't know how trustworthy the caterer was, but all seemed fine. I'd love to follow up on it and book Kevin's wedding (OK, so I'd be about 20 years early!) there now!

Amy