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Kailey

29 replies [Last post]
By kaileybriannabowles on Sun, 01-21-07, 08:08

Kailey Brianna Bowles was born October sixth, nineteen ninty seven.

She weighed nine lbs zero ozs and was twentyone inches long.

They knew right away she was allergic to milk. she was put on soy formula. The doctors told me she would grow out of it by the time she was one.

When she was one they told me she wuld grow out of it by the time she was two.

When she was two they said three.

When she was four they sent her in to an specialist and she recived test for allergies. It turned out she was allergic to milk, whey, cheese, basicaly any dairy products,dust,mold,mildew,dogs,gerbils,dust mites,mice,roachs,eggs. You name she was allergic.

The doctor said that he wasnt sure if she would ever grow out of the allergies.

We never had any attacks or times where we thought she would be in trouble. We read evey label to everything she ate. She even began reading labels. She didnt know how to read but she would take the box after I got done reading and she would look at it and she would say "yep theres no whey".

When she turned five she went back for more test and her doctor said she was worst then ever and she is fatally allergic to dairy products. She will never grow out of it.

We made sure there was nothing in the house she could not have. We could not take the chance.

Years went by and still no close calls or nothing. We mostly had problems with her asthma. Never never her allergies.

Now dont get me wrong. I did not go around saying her allergies were not that bad and I would never lose her to them. I knew they were that bad. I carried epipens with me everywhere. We had them at my moms at gregs moms and anywhere Kailey went. I never let Kailey go spend the night with friends or most family because I didnt want her to get something she could not have.

March first, two thousand and five was a normal day for me. I woke up sent Kailey to school and spent the rest of the day with my two sons ages 1 and 4 weeks old. When Kailey came home from school I made her a snack, we did her homework. She watched tv and played with her brothers.

Later on that night Kailey and I cleaned her room together. Before we were finished she cuddled up in her blanket in bed and went to sleep while I finished. When I was done I had tucked her in some more, gave her a kiss and said goodnight Kailey I love you. As I was walking out the door and shut off the light she said I love you too mommy.

March second was another normal day. I woke up sent Kailey to school, got the boys ready and we left with Greg to my Uncles house. My uncle had asked me if I was ready to go back to work. (I had worked for him befor eI had my third son....well actually since I was 16). I told him yes and I could work tonight if he wanted me too.

Later that day Kailey came home from school. She had a great day at school and she asked if she could go outside and play. Since it was a very nice winter day I said yes.

I left to work. I didnt tell her goodbye or anything. I was jsut so excited to be getting out of the house.

I wasnt at work for more then two hours when I got the call. It was Greg screaming and yelling and I could not make out a word he was saying. The last thing I heard was "SHES DYING!"

I got into the van and went home as fast as I could. I was also calling her doctor and telling him to meet us at the hospital.

When I got near the house I could see the ambulance a mile away. When I got into the house I seen my daughter laying on the living room floor with the paramedics standing over her. The went not doing anything for her they were kind of just standing there looking at her. Also was her step grandfather with her 1 year old brother in his arms. I grabbed him out of his arms and gave him to my mom and told her to take him out of there.

They put Kailey in the ambulance and we followed behind to the hospital.

When we got into the ER the sent us straight to the "Family Conference Room".
Now I have been at this hospital severel times and I have never been sent there. I knew it wasnt looking good.

The doctor came in and got Grge and I and he told me she had no heart beat when she arrived. I feel to my knees. How could this be happening? Why Kailey? Why my baby? Did I do something wrong? Am I being punished?

He told us they are going to try and revive her and he wanted us to watch so we knew they did everything they could.

Everything was not enough.

Kailey passed away from a taste of hot cocoa that was in her room.

I found out the cocoa was sent home from Girls Scouts. The troop leader had the girls put it together in one of their meetings knowing there was two girls in there with MAs. She never told us Kailey had it.

I want to bring justice for Kailey. I want to put laws in effect to keep children safe from people handing out their poision.

I want people to be more aware of these MAs and PAs and know how very serious it is.

I dont want this to happen to another child or family.

If someone could point me in the direction so I can go about getting laws mad or a foundation set up for research for allergies and asthma in Kaileys name I would realy appreciate it.

And to everyone who read my very first post.
I am not angry with anyone. If you were in my shoes,still greiving but yet realy havent got to grieve because you have two younger boys you still need to be strong for and you came across a message board and read about people slaming you and saying what you should have done or what they would do.I am sure you would be upset. You dont know until it happens to you. It is nothing I would wish on my worst enemy but it could happen to anyone at anytime.

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By Momcat on Sun, 01-21-07, 08:52

Kailey's story is so powerful, I am overwhelmed. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] I hope someone can put you in touch with Sara Shannon, Sabrina Shannon's mother. Sabrina also died from anaphylaxis due to her milk allergy. Her mother, Sara, has been a tireless advocate for kids with food allergies and has gotten laws to protect allergic kids at school passed in Canada. If anyone can put you on the right track to your goal, it would be her.

Cathy

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By onedayatatime on Sun, 01-21-07, 11:07

B

[This message has been edited by onedayatatime (edited September 11, 2007).]

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By barb1123 on Sun, 01-21-07, 11:35

This is why I live in constant stress and fear. My son R has too many allergies to count. He has anaphylaxis to dairy, eggs, peanuts and maybe wheat. Every day is a constant struggle to keep him safe. And always in the back of my mind is the thought, "It will be the thing you missed. The thing you didn't or couldn't plan for. The unexpected."

I am so sorry for your loss. As my son gets older (8) I worry more and more instead of less. And as time goes on without a reaction I worry more and not less. I worry about complacency with him, the school, me even.

I am not saying you were complacent in the slightest bit. I am completely talking about me! So the stress is unbelievable. As you know.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for taking the time to share your story with us. It helps the rest of us struggling with this terrible condition to know what happened and not wonder what did.

Barb

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By mommyofmatt on Sun, 01-21-07, 14:05

Thank you for sharing your story, I am so sorry you lost your precious daughter that way. And I'm sorry if you felt questioned or attacked, that had to be painful. I don't think that was anyone's intent but I understand completely how you would feel that way.

My son is 4, anaphylactic to milk and peanut, and also allergic to egg. I've learned from your story. I've come back home to drop the epi off because it was with me. I've run out of the house in my pjs to chase dh with the epi as he's driving away. It's time we have another set.

I agree with Barb...it's the things we never see coming that could get us. I'm so so sorry this happened to you, but I'm glad you shared with us. I hope you can find some comfort here.

Maybe do a search on Sabrina Shannon's name and perhaps you could find some info there?

My sympathies, Meg

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By cam on Sun, 01-21-07, 14:53

It is hard to find words to express my sympathy for you. Your words about your daughter and your desire to work for change are very moving. You have my deepest, deepest sympathy.

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By Gail W on Sun, 01-21-07, 15:05

Kailey's mom, it is okay to link this?

[url="http://kailey-bowles.memory-of.com/"]http://kailey-bowles.memory-of.com/[/url]

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By McCobbre on Sun, 01-21-07, 15:27

I'm completely overwhelmed by your story. My heart aches for you and your family. Thank you for setting the record straight--not that you had to--but hopefully it will helpful for you. And to all of us who work so hard to keep such "poison" from our children.

God bless you.

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By on Sun, 01-21-07, 15:59

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine.

Someone mentioned contacting Sara Shannon. I'm not sure how much that would help, as Sara is Canadian. But, if you want to try, post a message at [url="http://www.allergicliving.com/forum"]www.allergicliving.com/forum[/url] . Sara does not regularly go to that site, but she does occasionally.

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By momll70 on Sun, 01-21-07, 16:01

Sending you tight hugs. Thank you for sharing your story. I fear this all the time. I found chocolates in my son's backpack after I tell the school not to give him anything. I'm afraid of him touching it some chocolates are make from peanut flour. They also have milk and teachers/aids/classmates hand these out all the time. They feel bad giving to everyone else but not him. What if he decided to taste it. Even though he knows about his allergy and how dangerous it is I always feel the risk is there. I feel it's kind of unfair that I have to tell my 5 year old to be more responsible than the adults around him - because even though he is smart he is still only 5 years old.

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By chanda4 on Sun, 01-21-07, 16:09

I am sitting here sobbing, I am so sorry for your pain, I wish I could take it away. I could so easily be in your shoes, I have 4 kids, all with food allergies, yes milk in 2 of them...this scares me to death and I feel so helpless at the same time. I try, emailing the school, the district, our governor....but nothing happens. Thank you for posting this, it must have been heart-wrenching, it was to read it. Again, I am so sorry...many many HUGS Chanda

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By Lindajo on Sun, 01-21-07, 17:27

Thank you for sharing your story about your beautiful daughter. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to tell it again, almost like reliving it over and over in your mind. I sat here eyes filing up as I read it. I am so sorry.

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By NicoleinNH on Sun, 01-21-07, 17:28

Thank you for sharing Kailey's story with us.

[This message has been edited by NicoleinNH (edited June 10, 2007).]

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By chanda4 on Sun, 01-21-07, 23:14

I wanted to comment on the Girl Scout toop. My daughter just recently joined Brownies(she's just 8) and I was actually happy at first, I brought up to the leader that I thought it would be nice for the girls to learn about food allergies(there is even a badge to earn through FAAN/girl Scouts). She was all for it at first, I was going to help answer questions the girls might have, show the Epipen etc... and then it stopped there. I am not sure if she ran into a problem or what, but nothing else was said about it. Now we're in the middle of cookie sales and thankfully they list all possible allergens on their packages, but that doesn't change that not ONE of those cookies can my kids eat(milk/peanut/tree nuts/egg allergies) so this would have been a great opportunity to discuss food allergies. They're bi-weekely meetings are not safe for 2 of my kids, so I have to drop my daughter off...which upsets me. I think I might contact the Girl Scouts as well, it's about time we do....thanks!!!

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By Carefulmom on Mon, 01-22-07, 01:40

BTDT. We did not get any accomodation from Girl Scouts. It was a constant struggle and I had to pull dd out.

[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum1/HTML/003138.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum1/HTML/003138.html[/url]

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By SallyL on Mon, 01-22-07, 02:48

My heart is breaking for you. There are no words to express my sympathy. I don't know where to point you to other than the Sarah Shannon as suggested. Thanks for sharing your memories of your daughter.

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By abigailsmoma on Mon, 01-22-07, 07:09

I don't know about helping with your question. I just wanted to let you know you and your family is our prayers. If there is anything we can do to help let us know. I am in the Alabama area. I am so sorry. I am sending a big bear hug and lots of love.

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By gw_mom3 on Mon, 01-22-07, 07:19

What a powerful story-it has me in tears. Big hugs to you and your family.

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[b]~Gale~[/b]

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By saknjmom on Mon, 01-22-07, 16:13

I cried and cried when I read this post yesterday. I could not come up with the words to express how sorry I am for what happened to your precious daughter.
My heart just ached for you.
Thank you for sharing with us.
I don't really know how to go about getting laws passed.
We have several assembly people in NJ who have family with food allergies and they are continually writing new bills to present. Maybe go on your state's website, look up legislation about food allergies and see who the sponsors were. Write to those people and see if they can further your cause or direct you to the avenues to pursue this. You could also start by writing to your assemblyperson. I've found that I've always gotten responses from my local assembly people when I've written emails to them. I've gotten more than generic replies.
Again, my heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your family.
God Bless

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By bethc on Mon, 01-22-07, 16:54

I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. It's the fear we all live with here. I'm sorry you had to come across all of us here discussing your daughter. Doing that helps us to understand what we can do to try to prevent the same thing from happening to us or our children, because there are so many things we don't think of on our own. But none of us has complete control over food allergies. You are so brave to come here and talk to us and share your story and insight.

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By patsmommy on Mon, 01-22-07, 18:28

My heart is breaking for you and your family. I am so sorry.

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By Jimmy's mom on Mon, 01-22-07, 20:24

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Please accept my sympathy.
I see much of my situation when I read your post. DS has not had a reaction since his diagnosis at age 1 (he's now 8). But testing shows he is still allergic. And I worry that the next reaction could be the last one.
And about getting slammed--I didn't see the post you were referring to. But I do know that sometimes people here can sometimes seem a little abrasive. Sometimes it is because you cannot tell tone of voice from reading a post. Sometimes it's something else. But from what you describe, I would guess it's fear. They want to see a difference between you and them. So they can think they are safer, that it won't happen to them. I am sorry if, on top of all of your other pain, someone here hurt you as well.

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[url="http://www.the3day.org/boston07/deedaigle"]http://www.the3day.org/boston07/deedaigle[/url]

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By bethc on Fri, 02-09-07, 17:11

Re-raising for AuntAmanda.

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By jtolpin on Fri, 03-02-07, 20:07

Bump for anniversary condolences...

Nothing but hugs.. nothing but hugs.

Jason

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[b]* Beyond Obsessed * [/b]

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By FAworld on Fri, 03-02-07, 21:09

Kailey's story has had a profound effect on me. My daughter is anaphylactic to dairy but extremely sensitive to any kind of trigger. I found your website in the summer of '05 and truly grieved the loss of such a bright light in the world. I have thought of Kailey from time to time ever since. When I read your story I see how it could so easily happen to my daughter.

I can tell from your descriptions of her and the pictures on her memorial page that Kailey was a joyful, glowing child. She had a beautiful smile that showed her spirit.

Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much for sharing her story with us and with the world through her page.

[This message has been edited by FAworld (edited March 02, 2007).]

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By AuntAmanda on Fri, 03-02-07, 21:54

Our families' thoughts and prayers are with you today on this anniversary.

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[url="http://charity-never-faileth.com/Food_Allergies_-__As_I_have.html"]Amanda Hommel[/url]
-seek learning, even by study and also by faith-

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By saknjmom on Fri, 03-02-07, 22:20

I'm thinking about you and your family today. Many hugs to you.

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By falcon on Sat, 03-03-07, 01:20

Ohhhhh...no words...just tears...unfortunately tears don't help...I am so sorry.

[This message has been edited by falcon (edited March 02, 2007).]

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By Daisy on Sat, 03-03-07, 02:12

Praying for peace for you and your family.

Sending many {{{HUGS}}}

Daisy

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By mistey on Sat, 03-03-07, 04:01

I am so, so sorry. My son is allergic to dairy as well. My heart just aches for you.

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