I cried half the morning yesterday.......

just adding an update to my boo hoo. I talked to the cupcake mom as I ran into her this morning already. I said "I saw your cupcakes, they looked really good...you know you can call me if you are ever bringing a treat and I can bring one for ds"

She said they were nut free, I said I appreciate that and that he never eats food from anyone, even my mother. I just cannot make any exceptions.

She then told me another mom is making cupcakes for her dd's birthday next week. I said, if you see her before I do tell her to call me and let me know when so I can send.

I will talk to this mom too. I don't really care if they bring nut free stuff as long as I know about it in time.

Handled.....no more feeling sorry for myself today.....I hope.

Linda

You know, though the teacher handled it, I think she could have said to the parent that it is her policy to not have foods coming into the classroom, what with allergies on the rise. Not to put it on your son and his situation. Maybe you can address that part of it with tht teacher, if that really is how she feels, which you seem to indicate. It might be her feelings and knowing it might not go over well with some families, puts it on your son at present. I have always asked that any accomodations expressed to parents be presented as school policy, not put onto my child. I know the families know or will know, but I think the school needs to own the policy.

That would make it much easier for you and eliminate the awkwardness and pain of what happened.

And finally, a big hug for you. It just should not have gone down that day. At best, the cupcakes could have been sent home with each child as they left for the day. Maybe ask that that be added next time.

A sly solution. Ask the mother very sweetly to let you know next time so you can be sure your son is not so hurt next time by being excluded from such a fun treat. That you could try to send a similar treat. Using that kind of language, dig, dig! I cried many times in preschool over the stress of similar situations. Wanting so badly to deal with it right away, but gulping back tears and having to get to the car. Big hughs for you. becca

LOL, If a big Hugh helps, then that is what I am sending. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] But I meant big hugs!

[This message has been edited by becca (edited December 14, 2005).]

We are posting at the same time. It is still hurtful that she was asked by the teacher not to bring them. And she knows it. That stuff burns me the most. Flagrant neglect of what was asked. As parents, it hurts because you would think they could put themselves into the mind of the child.

Maybe you all can agree to a policy. If it is really ok with you and the teacher, then the teacher can assign dates where the parent sends the treat, and copy the list to you. I have a list of all the kids birthdays, and the teacher sends home a note if she remembers. I also keep a box of safe treats in the class in the event of unexpected treats. becca

Is there a freezer in the school you could keep treats in? Since my DD has been in school I've keept a supply of frozen brownies at school. If a treat is sent in, the teacher grabs a brownie. It's an easy solution. My DD never eats treats that are brought in even though everything is suppossed to be peanut free. I trust no one.

Quote:Originally posted by Dunpun:
[B

Does she not care my ds can have nothing? Oh well as long as she can bring her little reindeer cupcakes and put a smile on her little girl's face.

[/B]

No, she does not. Yes, it is about the smile on her child's face. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]

I like the advice that becca gave you. If the teacher seems to be saying that she would prefer for this not to happen (and yet it's happening again next week), I would sit down with the teacher and try to work something out with her, but, as becca said, have it presented as school policy.

It seems so far away now when my son had a "peanut free" classroom that really worked, but he did at one time and the kids also ate in the classrooms (which was important).

What happened then was that if anyone brought anything into the classroom that was not okay for my son to eat, it was packaged up and sent home with the other children at the end of the school day. No exclusions whatsoever really during the school day. My guy knew that he wasn't leaving the school with whatever it was, but he wasn't excluded.

The last confrontation I had with a teacher about something like this was the Christmas Party in Grade 3. I went in to check the party food and found two items that were "may contain". At that time, I didn't even feel okay about my son eating near people with "may contains". And his written school plan had indicated that the "peanut free" classroom also meant no "may contains".

At any rate, I pointed out the two goodies to the teacher and asked her if she would remove them from the classroom. She said no. I said to her that she could either remove the items or I would have to remove my son and there would be he** to pay.

Needless to say, a principal (substitute) had to be brought in to deal with the situation.

All it bloody meant was me going into the staff kitchen and cutting something into thirty pieces and wrapping it individually for the kids to take home after school.

If you are able to come up with a work-able plan with your child's teacher, which I believe you can, you don't have the need for a special treat box for your child - not if the plan includes no eating in the classroom of anything that is not okay for your child to eat as well.

I know under the Schools section right now there has been a lot of discussion re this as well, even about special treat boxes, etc.

Big hugs! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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"That was Polanski. Nicholson got his nose cut."

I was thinging of asking the Teacher to request non-food items for holidays but we ended up going with a note home to parents...In that note I requested the parents contact me prior to bringing in the snack so that I can make something simalar, The teacher also gave me a list of the childrens bdays so that I could contact that parents a few days early if they have not contacted me.

Seens to be working so far.

When I sent the letter home to the other parents I included a list of the food items on my safe list, suggestions that are kid friendly & little mess for the teachers etc...

I had several parents thank me.

I suggested things like pudding cups & choc chip cookies (ahoy) Betty crocker icing & sprinkles--A hands on treat for the kids.
(I also requested items come in original packaging , unopened)

At the beginning of the school year, I send in non-perishable treats for my DD that the teacher keeps in the classroom for just such an event. If someone brings in a treat unexpectedly, DD gets a Rice Krispie treat or a package of Oreo cookies or a pudding cup. Yeah, it singles her out in a way, but I'm o.k. with that--it's not drawing negative attention to her (everyone knows she has this allergy and we treat it seriously), she gets to celebrate along with the others (which is really what it's about) and often the other kids would rather have what DD is having anway.

Sarah

I'm so sorry that you are feeling down. Having been a teacher, I think that you'd be surprised at how many of the children in the class don't like/ won't eat treats that come to school. I really like the idea of bringing in a box of snacks to freeze in case of a "treat emergency". Why don't you suggest to the teacher, that she ask the class if anyone would like a different treat from the one that has been brought in? I'm sure a few children will want to share the same treat as your child.