How Do You Wrap Your Mind Around It?

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By on Thu, 08-03-06, 22:41

Doesn't matter if you're adult onset or have had PA forever and a day. I was thinking about this this week when my son called me from a group he goes to each week.
Now, Jess man has been reading ingredient labels since he was 4, so I was kinda shocked to get a call from him about a food.
Turned out it was a food that we had never bought before (some kind of cookie - forget the name so won't post something that might be wrong) and even though he trusted his labeling reading, he just wanted to check with me because we have never bought it (I later priced the cookies and now know why [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ). As I say, this is a child who I feel is empowered (what a word) about his allergy and yet he still felt the need to call me when presented with something new (not a bad thing).

So sitting here and analyzing things as I am wont to do, I was wondering if the adults could explain to me how you wrap your mind around the fact that a food has the potential to kill you?

Do you do what we PA parents tell our kids and say, have EpiPen, okay?

Have any of you experienced anxiety because of your allergy?

Or, even as PA people are you kinda able to keep it in the back of your minds (for the most part) like some of us PA parents do?

Many thanks and best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I would walk up to heaven and bring you back home with me.

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By McCobbre on Thu, 08-03-06, 23:02

Back of the mind???

DH bought a new food for DS yesterday--those new Kellogs cereal bars. He called, read label, etc. I said, "Well, no hives, you're still alive. Okay."

Then I apologized to him. He's 8.

And I said, "You know, I don't think I ever would have said that if I didn't have my own LTFA. I'm sorry I said something that was a joke. It's just that at times I have to lighten up about my own situation--but I should never joke about that with you."

I mean, the other day, I told him I was going to a conference in Baltimore, and in the invitations to the conference the organizers sent out little inflatable crabs. And DS saw the humor in that (I'm ana to shellfish) and said "I guess you'll be taking most of your own food," and we laughed about it. I figured it's good that he can see me laugh about my allergy. He's seen me use an Epi on myself--he should see me understand the lighter side if there is one.

Man, I just try not to think "every bite could kill me." I can't live like that.

But at a restaurant I get more attention than he does these days. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

No, really, it's best to focus on what you can eat rather than what you can't. The restaurant thing is hard. For DS, I worry more about his going off to college--or eating food others prepare. Not restaurants so much. But still, I think it's good to model focusing on what he can eat. Because there's so much he CAN eat. There's so much I can eat (just not at restaurants, like he can).

Wrap my mind around it? Man, I try not to as much as possible. I could go crazy focusing on it. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

[This message has been edited by McCobbre (edited August 03, 2006).]

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By on Thu, 08-03-06, 23:46

A good sense of humour goes a long way. It doesn't actually fill the belly - but, it can help you forget how hungry you are. [img]http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/silly/razz.gif[/img]

McCobbre, I've had similar situations with my son and insect bites.

Anyway, back to csc's questions.

[i]I was wondering if the adults could explain to me how you wrap your mind around the fact that a food has the potential to kill you?[/i]

The same way you can cross the street the day after reading in the paper that some idiot ran over an old lady because he never bothered stopping at the red light.

The same way you can eat fish, even though you have probably heard of someone choking on a fish bone.

The same way you can get on a boat, even though the Titanic sank.

I have definitely experienced anxiety. And sometimes, I worry that I really am becoming paranoid. (Can I be paranoid when the peanuts and sesame seeds of world really are out to get me? Or is it only paranoid when I take it personally that squirrels bury peanuts in MY yard?)

Mostly, I'm OK though. Mostly, I make sure I have epipen and benedryl, and life goes on. I don't take unnecessary risks though. (I'll fly, but I'm not gonna go sky-diving, kwim?)

**********

Now, regarding *why* you asked this question. It kind of made me laugh. Last night we were at a mall and there's a store that imports candy. I was looking at some Cadbury candy and some Nestle. The cadbury was something I've eaten from the UK before, but of course I read the label anyway. Then, I read it again. Then, I made dh read it. [img]http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/happy0206.gif[/img]

It's not that I am laying the responsibility on his shoulders. But, sometimes, I just want a second opinion that something is safe.

Remember the saying "if it seems to good to be true it is" well, that isn't always true with pa. Sometimes that really yummy looking treat with no warning on it really is safe. And sometimes, it tastes just as good as you thought it would. [img]http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/edible/cake.gif[/img]

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By joeybeth on Fri, 08-04-06, 00:01

situations with a new, never-before-tried food that does not carry an allergy warning on it does bother me too; not so much if the food is from a company that i'm familiar with and that i KNOW puts allergy warnings on packaging if needed (because then there WOULD be one there) but moreso when there is no warning and i don't readily recognize the company. kwim? if there is an allergy warning to soy or wheat or something on the item, then i feel pretty good about there not being a peanut or nut concern (because surely it would have been included since the other allergens were.).

if we are unsure, usually, my girls and i just agree not to have the food until we can research it. sometimes it's a problem because they REALLY want to try it and the risk seems SO low. sometimes it's not a problem at all and they agree with me to skip the food, for the moment anyhow,right away.

i get lots of phones calls from bryce (she's 10) regarding foods she doesn't recognize; even if the label seems correct. she calls from school, from friend's homes, when out with dad, etc.. she's good about that, just like jess is. isn't that great?

i only have brief moments where i "panic" about pa now. usually i can keep in perspective, somewhat. for me, my biggest fear in the world (i'm so fearful that i hate to even put it in writing) is that my kids will develop some kind of terminal illness. i could not survive that. i'm so fearful that i'm tempted to go back and delete those words right now.....i'll try to keep going and get to the point here...

anyhow, strange as it seems, i can honestly tell myself, "thank God it's just PA; something i can control and something i can treat and something that is totally do-able." i guess that's how i keep from freaking out about PA and how i rationalize things. is that crazy???

i'm not downplaying our issues or anything...just trying to comfort myself, i guess. out of the long list of things we could be dealing with, i consider myself very fortunate with the short list of things i struggle with in terms of my kids' health/safety.

of course there are still those days when i do worry and there are still always those events and situations in which i panic a little bit but i just try to take a deep breath, cover all our bases (like make sure the meds are handy, we have a plan "in case", and that everyone my kids come into contact with knows what to do "if"), etc.

having said all that, i would gladly erase PA from our lives, and everyone elses' too.

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By starlight on Fri, 08-04-06, 00:50

Quote:Originally posted by csc:
[b]So sitting here and analyzing things as I am wont to do, I was wondering if the adults could explain to me how you wrap your mind around the fact that a food has the potential to kill you?[/b]

I tell myself [b]I won't let it kill me[/b]. I mean, it's a [i]food[/i]. A car accident, ebola, gunshot wound, nuclear war, cancer, maybe. But a [i]food[/i]? Nuh uh, no way. I'd stick my epi in my eyeball before I'd let some stupid peanut kill me (just a saying of course, never actually do that). I feel the same way about choking. If I ever choke, you better believe I'm not gonna just sit there letting it cut off my airway. I know how to hemlich solo with a chair back (even though I don't know how to spell). Even if I have to reach down my own throat to pull it out or stick a straw down my throat to push it down. I refuse to have my cause of death be a food.

Quote:Originally posted by McCobbre:
[b]I said, "Well, no hives, you're still alive. Okay."
[/b]

Ha, yeah. I know many times I've told my mom, "well, I'm still breathing, so it must be okay".

I think the whole re-reading the label over and over, for me at least, comes from disbelief. I'm not one to try new foods often just because I'm picky. And I usually don't read labels more than once. Most of the time I don't even need to read them all the way through, because "peanuts" catches my eye immediately. If I don't see it on first glance, then I read every ingredient.

But there are some things you just expect to not be able to eat. I reach for the box with the feeling that I'm gonna be disappointed. Stuff like a new cookie or candy like you guys said. So if I don't see the peanuts, it's a shock. So then I go into, "well, I must have missed it", and I read it again. THEN it's like, "OMG, I might be able to eat this totally awesome new thing!!" and I re-read it AGAIN. Then I'll buy it, take it home, and read it AGAIN, along with every single word on the package.

I do trust my label reading ability, but when you've come to expect the warning label, it takes a long while to get over the shock that something that cool might be safe. Sounds like that *might* be what Jesse was up to. He probably fully expected to pick up the box of cookies and not be able to eat them. It actually becomes a fairly quick and choreographed routine. Reach and grab, glance, put back. 3 seconds tops. Sometimes you just need someone else to help you get over the shock and assure you you haven't suddenly become selectively blind to the word. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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By on Fri, 08-04-06, 00:51

Quote:Originally posted by AnnaMarie:
[B]

The same way you can cross the street the day after reading in the paper that some idiot ran over an old lady because he never bothered stopping at the red light.

The same way you can eat fish, even though you have probably heard of someone choking good as you thought it would.

Wow, I appreciate everyone's responses so far, thank-you. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Now, see, Anna Marie (but then I'm a PA parent so.....) those examples you gave me are just SO different in MY mind. Ya, I know that sh*t happens clause like having a heart attack in the middle of the night and dying and I know yes, I take a chance when I walk out the door that we'll be hit by a car or whatever, but that still seems SO different to ME (as a PA parent).

But do you think that possibly that's how my guy could be thinking about things?

And you know what? You made me feel better saying that you had your DH re-read the label. Why? Because I was almost afraid to post that Jess, at 10, had called home to double check (thinking that people would think what the heck is he going to do as he gets older - call Mommy every time? and somehow that wouldn't be a *good* thing in other people's minds) - anyway, thank-you. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I would walk up to heaven and bring you back home with me.

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By joeybeth on Fri, 08-04-06, 02:17

cindy: i just realized that you posed this question to adults with PA. duhhhhh. i answered from my perspective as a parent of children with PA. i'm blonde...can you tell??

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By VariegatedRB on Fri, 08-04-06, 04:56

My life doesn't center around food... I eat what I can eat and what I like. Sometimes I think of a food and wish I could have it again (and usually search for (and often find) a safe alternative) or get disappointed because something I heard might be safe turns out to have soy (I'm SA, too) in it or be made on shared lines or be otherwise outside my comfort zone... but as others have said, I concentrate on what I *can* eat, and forget about what I can't. It is inconvenient, but no more so than other problems I or others I know have.

I know I am okay as long as I am careful about what I eat, so I don't "worry" about it much. But I will admit it is something that is always a part of me. I am always watching where I am walking or noticing what people are eating, etc. It isn't something I am *anxious* about though- just always on alert- it is almost subconcious...

Like looking before you cross the street- you don't stand there freaking out because the cars are driving fast enough to squash you... you look and when it is safe, you cross.

You take all the precautions you can and then just live.

It *does* cause me anxiety at times. I work with kids in their homes and schools, and sometimes they eat peanut products, and that stresses me out, I will admit! I shower and wash my clothes when I get home those days! BUT I have chosen to put myself in that position because I like my job, I think the risk (for me) is minimal, and I have my epipen in my pocket, just in case!

Some things that other people take for granted I have to think about... but we ALL have something about us like that. I am also blind in one eye. Which means I have to be extra cautious merging and parking and I can probably never join the military or fly a commercial plane (don't want to do either, though!), I can't see in 3D (the movies or those 3D based optical illusions, etc). Now, granted, these won't kill me! But I have to be protective of my good eye, too, because I could end up totally blind if I have an accident! So... just like with PA (and my bee allergy!)... it is a part of who I am, but it doesn't consume me.

To someone not pa it may be hard to understand, but I really do feel like has been said- it is just like all the other dangerous things we do every day. We assess the risk and move on.

(I am adult onset, BTW, don't know if that will make a difference in how people view their allergy or not)

Tara P

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Tara P

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By Mimom on Fri, 08-04-06, 12:23

I go through times where I feel comfortable and confident and then something shakes that feeling and I get scared, actually paranoid about everything I put into my mouth. Restaurants are the worst, especially since going out to eat seems to be tied to celebrating and having a good time. It is nothing but a stresser for me. My 11 year old daughter actually made up a posterboard with plans for a nut-free restaurant she plans. I felt like crying.I try to be so careful about what I eat,yet I went to the dermatologist and let them try Jane Iredale mineral make-up on my face.I loved it until I got home and looked at the website and saw that many products contained macadamia nut and other nut ingredients.Nuts on my face-dangerously close to my mouth. I am TNA.I was mad at myself but had to laugh-my vanity, not food, could be what does me in! I always dreamed about being able to see without glasses (couldn't even see the big E on the chart) and being able to eat anything without fear. Thanks to Lasik, my vision is perfect.It's like a miracle and a small part of me believes my other dream may come true in my lifetime.

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By Adele on Fri, 08-04-06, 15:20

In my own little world - at home, where every food in my house is safe, I don't think about PA. My anxiety level increases when I have to travel.....but after 18 months of living with PA even my travel anxiety has greatly decreased.

But for some reason, when I shop for groceries, I have a morbid fascination with tins and bags of peanuts. The thought is in my mind - "if I ate those....etc. "

I think it is my brain's way of dealing with it.

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By SeaHint on Fri, 08-04-06, 15:22

How do I wrap my mind around it? With varying degrees of success. Actually, now, with confusion and fear. So, I suppose you could say "badly".

I've been pretty vigilant over the past 6 years since onset of the allergy (not counting the three hospital visits prior to diagnosis, naturally).

I've felt that I had a reasonable comfort zone. I've bought SOME processed foods. I've eaten at "trusted" restaurants. I have felt that *I* was in charge, NOT the nuts / sesame.

I've only had one reaction since diagnosis. I was feeling pretty OK about the allergy.

That reaction was on 18th May this year!!! From a place I have trusted all the time. I have eaten there (or others in the chain) HUNDREDS of times, literally, with no ill-effects.

I was as careful as usual. I told the waitress, who said she understood. She supposedly told the chefs (I couldn't hear the words, but I saw the looks in my direction). I took an antihistamine before the meal arrived... "just in case", like I always do. I ordered the same dish, which I was assured hadn't changed.

In the 25 minutes it took to get home, I felt the reaction coming on. I took 2 more antihistamines immediately. It still kept coming. I took another one and made myself sit calmly as soon as I got indoors, with "Boss" watching me. I was NOT going to use that Epi! I was feeling hot, light-headed, swollen and it was a real effort to suck air into my lungs, but I was too scared to use the Epi at that stage. Stupid? Maybe! I was going to use my mind & body to help itself beat the reaction.

After 20 minutes, breathing got slowly better. After 45 minutes, I could breathe almost normally. Off to bed to sleep!

Back to how I wrap my mind around it. After that episode, I've not eaten outside the house again! One reaction has set me back 6 years! I had been buying some processed foods - now I have stopped! Back to raw ingredients!

I now feel as afraid as I did when first diagnosed. I need to re-examine my way forward. I need to unwrap my mind and re-wrap it.

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By Adele on Fri, 08-04-06, 21:05

SeaHint, May I give you my 2 cents worth, and suggest that it's not a good idea to go to sleep after a reaction?
It's the second - or biphasic reaction, that'll get you!

My allergist told me that if I have a reaction and end up in the ER - to wait another 4-6 hours before leaving the hopsital, even if it means sitting in the waiting room. The second reaction can be worse than the first.

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By joeybeth on Fri, 08-04-06, 21:21

i posted a few months ago about a young friend of ours who had just such an incident with the biphasic reaction. it was horrible. it certainly opened my eyes to what can happen even after you think you have the initial reaction under control. his doctors told him it was very difficult to keep him alive during that night.

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By Peg541 on Fri, 08-04-06, 23:46

On a really hot rushed day last week I bought a lemon meringue pie from a place we have used in the past and asked questions.

I forgot to ask. So at dinner, we had guests, DS said "Did you ask?"

I had to say no but my instinct was "eat it, you've eaten their stuff before."

Then I thought ahead to the 911 call and the night in the ER if we were lucky and said "we have safe ice cream, eat that OK?"

He was fine with it but I felt horrible because he wanted to taste the pie, has been tasting things he never ate before, and I wanted to see him taste it.

So I was rushed but should have been more careful.

This kind of stuff I have a hard time wrapping my mind around. I hate it.

Peg

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Son 22 Allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, tomatoes, soy, milk, oats, fish.

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By on Sat, 08-05-06, 00:09

Quote:Originally posted by csc:
[b]
Now, see, Anna Marie (but then I'm a PA parent so.....) those examples you gave me are just SO different in MY mind. Ya, I know that sh*t happens clause like having a heart attack in the middle of the night and dying and I know yes, I take a chance when I walk out the door that we'll be hit by a car or whatever, but that still seems SO different to ME (as a PA parent).

But do you think that possibly that's how my guy could be thinking about things?
[/b]

You worded it perfectly. sh*t happens. Honestly, I am more afraid of driving on the 401 then I am of eating. I can control what I eat. If I don't feel the choices are safe - I can wait. I'm not so starved that delaying one meal is going to kill me. I hardly ever think about the fact that a food can kill me. I won't say I never think of it - if I never thought of it, then my guard would be down and I wouldn't be reading labels and phoning companies, etc.

Do I think your son will look at it as sh*t happens? Yup! I truly do. I think he probably already does, to a degree.

Quote:Originally posted by csc:
[b]
I was almost afraid to post that Jess, at 10, had called home to double check (thinking that people would think what the heck is he going to do as he gets older - call Mommy every time? and somehow that wouldn't be a *good* thing in other people's minds) - anyway, thank-you. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[/b]

I knew you were thinking that way - and I was going to send you an e-mail last night. I guess I should have.

It IS a good thing that he called for your opinion. If he read *may contain* on the label, he would have just said no. But, he's been raised to know that *no warning does not mean no peanut, it just means no warning*. So, even if it's a company he has been told to trust, it's good to double check. And, it's best to double check with someone that you KNOW understands - someone you trust.

********

The fact that this situation is a concern to you, says a lot about how well you have taught him. It would be worse if you were worrying because he was eating suspect foods - or sneaking may contains.

We are parents. We will always worry. No matter how old they are. No matter whether they live at home or not. No matter whether or not they have allergies. We will always worry.

Pat yourself on the back. It sounds like you have taught him well. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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By VariegatedRB on Sat, 08-05-06, 03:11

I was thinking about this thread today and something occured to me (and AnnaMarie beat me to it!).

I encounter 100 things a day that could kill me. The food allergy thing is, as I said, often inconvenient and I have a pretty narrow comfort zone... but I don't really feel *threatened* by this one, because *I* have so much control over it. Sure there could be unavoidable accidents, but I can reduce my risk to practically nothing by reading labels, calling companies, eating only what/where I know is safe. I have control over what I put in my mouth.

So many other things out there I have little or NO control over-- whether some psycho will shot me when I go out for my nightly walk, whether I have some hidden congenital heart defect that no one has detected, the toxins pouring out of the waste treatment plant and raining down on the veggies in my garden, etc.

And look at the number of people with FA compared with the number that die from it... I think it is safe to safe that MOST FA people die of cancer or in car accidents or of heart disease, just like everyone else!

So, while FA is a part of my daily life (because I have to eat/be around food every day) it is not something I fear.

Tara P

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By erik on Sun, 08-06-06, 04:37

Quote:Originally posted by csc:
[b]So sitting here and analyzing things as I am wont to do, I was wondering if the adults could explain to me how you wrap your mind around the fact that a food has the potential to kill you?[/b]

Hi Cindy,

My odds of dying in a car crash are much greater than me dying of PA. And I'm not afraid to drive (and not afraid to eat).

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*Addicted*

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By on Sun, 08-06-06, 14:11

Thank-you everyone for your great responses! I really appreciate them. Is it okay for me to say that they made me feel better?

I guess my main concern is that somehow, in the future, Jesse's PA is going to affect his mental health somehow - cause anxiety issues or whatever. Looks like he might be okay on that front. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Thank-you. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

------------------
If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I would walk up to heaven and bring you back home with me.

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By Precious1971 on Fri, 08-11-06, 02:31

I have to say I am quite impressed by everyone's outlook on PA life.

I never thought to think how minimal my chances *could* be with having an allergic reaction to peanuts vs. walking outside and getting hit by a lighting.

I guess the changes of PA reaction is less common than we all think. I mean, chances are that we *could* get struck by lighting more so than we *could* get PA reaction.

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By agodfrey0201 on Sat, 08-12-06, 04:56

I'm 66 and have been PA all my life--still recall at age 3 taking a spoonful of PB, thinking it was chocolate, and crying because my mouth hurt--ugh! For many years I didn't have any antidote and just had to endure the pain,vomiting, face swelling,hives and asthma when I accidentally ate something with peanuts in it, so I've lived through quite a few anaphylactic reactions. As a result I'm not afraid of dying from one, but sure don't want to go through any more and don't wish such a reaction on anyone else. Have used an epipen 4 times since getting one about 12 years ago, and would never hesitate to use it again if necessary. No side effects except sleepiness, and almost instant relief. It's now been 8 years since my last reaction. Reading labels, asking at restaurants and at other people's homes, sniffing my food before eating it, and taking a tiny taste first to make sure there won't be a reaction is second nature to me. Sometimes I'm a little embarrassed by the attention it causes, and there are times when I have to settle for not eating until I can get to some safe food, but I feel I lead a pretty normal life.

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By Jimmy's mom on Sat, 08-12-06, 13:07

What AnnaMarie posted is actually how I deal with DS's peanut allergy. I don't hesitate to put him in the car, even though there are fatal car accidents every minute of every day. I let him swim, even though children do drown.
I just do all of those things (and many others) in a a way that has some protection. He wears a seat belt. He only swims while supervised. And he only eats foods that seem safe, and has an epi-pen.

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By kylaC on Fri, 08-18-06, 21:26

Lots of interesting posts here.

I have had PA and TNA my whole life. I've gone through definite ups and downs in terms of dealing with the fact that the simple act of eating that we all must do could kill me. When I was a kid, I didn't know any better and neither did my parents. I didn't even have an epipen until I was 16 (after my first and only reaction). I just knew what I couldn't eat and didn't eat it. In my teens, it was hard because my friends like to eat out a lot. Dating made me feel sorry for myself even more, having to watch what my date ate and even asking what he ate that day...so I wouldn't have a reaction if we kissed later.

In my 20s and now my 30s, I have evolved to realizing that there are lots of positive things about my allergies. One is that I don't eat out much, so I actually eat healthier than I otherwise would. My own built-in "diet" so to speak. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Another thing I think about is how many other much more challenging disabilities I could have had that I think would have been harder to deal with in life than watching what I eat. Such as a physical disability -- deafness, blindness, and similar. Or how about getting a disease like cancer or parkinson's? Wow. Now that would be difficult. Reading labels, packing my own lunch, and not eating at restaurants that much...minor inconveniences.

That said, there are days that I've cried about it. Things about things that I wish were just so easy to do. Being able to just spontaneously eat dinner at the nearest restaurant when my husband and I are on the road or out somewhere. No worries except the outside change of food poisoning. Being able to pick anything on the menu and just order it and enjoy eating it. I can't even imagine what that would be like.

Or I think about one day having kids who - God willing - won't have these allergies. I get sad though about not being able to let them have PB&J like all the other kids because I can't have it in the house nor make it for them.

But I guess I'm just the type of person who focuses on the downsides of things much. I don't think it's a good way to live, especially when you do have a challenge like this. Besides, so much about life is so positive and amazing...and not about food. You just have to be happy about all the other things you do have.

Kyla

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By joeybeth on Sat, 08-19-06, 03:28

kyla:

don't worry too much about having kids and them missing out on have pb due to your PA. my older daughter, who has no food allergies, has adapted very well to living here in our peanut-free/treenut-free home. she seems to have lost her taste and desire for pb and it's not a big deal to her. she always knows she can have it when she's away from home, if necessary, and occasionally does. she's loves pb alternatives (more than she ever liked pb). it's do-able. my older daughter fights like crazy with her younger siblings (i'm pretty sure they hate each other some days. haha) but even she knows instinctively that peanuts are just something we live without in this household. never have heard one complaint about it out of her (and believe me, she CAN complain). [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

also, your comments about dating bring up issues for me that i am worried about for the future. i feel pretty confident about my abilities to protect my girls and i feel very confident about their abilities to do so one day (one in particular is very vigilant and aware...i have two PA daughters). however, i really worry alot about when the time comes that they have to depend on the vigilance and dependability of someone else (like a teenaged boy!). i worry so much that some boy will lie about having peanuts/pb in order to be able to kiss or make out. yikes! that's hard to think about now (they are 10 and 7) but i know it will become reality one day in the not so distant future. even if they don't intentionally lie about it, a date could always forget. not everyone is as used to dealing with food allergies as we are and i can see how it'd be easy to slip up.

it's certainly something to think about. it would be great if we had a thread here at pa.com from those with PA who are teenaged and older so we could hear how they handle(d) these issues. it will be important for us all at some point.

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By on Tue, 08-22-06, 13:03

Quote:Originally posted by kylaC:
[b]Or I think about one day having kids who - God willing - won't have these allergies. I get sad though about not being able to let them have PB&J like all the other kids because I can't have it in the house nor make it for them.
[/b]

I have adult on-set allergies - and I had two kids when I started reacting. One of them was a pb-fanatic. The kind of kid that *won't eat anything but pb*. He was a very tiny kid, and letting him *go hungry* until he was willing to eat something else really wasn't an option. For a while we kept pb in the house. But, he just wasn't careful enough so we had to ban it.

We used to buy a loaf of bread and a jar of pb and bring it to his best friends house - and he'd go over there to eat it. The mom once told me my son would do [i]anything[/i] for pb&j.

When he moved out I gave him a jar of pb. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

My third son was born after I developed my allergies, so he's never known a home (or a school) that allows pb in it. Can't miss what you've never had. He has tried pb, but he hates it. Hates it to the point that I actually thought he might have an allergy. (He would vomit when he ate it.)

Good news is, he was tested and he's not allergic. He does occasionally eat some types of pb, when not at home, but it's not a big deal to him.

So, what this huge long post is trying to say is ---- don't worry about it. If you do have children, they'll be raised from the beginning with no pb - and they won't worry about it.

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By Lam on Fri, 02-09-07, 03:41

Raising.

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By McCobbre on Sun, 02-11-07, 03:44

Yes--eating, well eating out for me, has become so utilitarian. I find the thing that won't cause me to react and eat it to not be hungry. Forget the flavor. Forget the joy. Forget even the nutritional aspect or the calories. Often times these days, what's safest (something that's been cooked in the oven) is really not that healthy--only healthy in the fact that it keeps me alive.

I found that with my asthma and my total IgE I qualify for Xolair. I am now hoping my insurance will cover enough of it and that I can take it and that as a side benefit I'll be able to relax a bit and enjoy eating more (not that I'll be risky in my eating).

But perhaps then it won't be too overwhelming to eat.

__________________

My posts may not be published by anyone without getting express written consent by me.

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By danni on Sat, 08-23-08, 05:29

its very.... VERY hard.

i couldnt imagine being a parent with no food allergies trying to care for a child who has them.

i got mine when i was 15 and i think its been alot harder for my family to "get it" than me. i still have to double check everything my parents get because they dont always check the little things or it gets overlooked.

at first its exceptionally hard.. everything EVERYTHING had to have nuts in it but you get in a groove of checking lables and being disapointed when you see your favorite "safe food" has now gone to the dark [peanut] side.

my old favorite was the Trolli brand gummy worms/bears.

as for anxiety, i cant lie.. i get it no matter where i eat out all the time. after i have eaten there a couple times and have no reactions i get alot better.

DONT EVER BE EMBARESSED ABOUT TELLING YOUR WAITRESS ABOUT YOUR FOOD ALLERGY.. i used to be embaressed about my allergy but i know im not alone.. even though i dont know anybody with a nut allergy.

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By Szj on Sat, 08-23-08, 06:17

You're not alone - we have 2 kids with peanut allergies and must be careful,
I dont know where you are, but we just opened and ice cream store that is truly 100% peanut and nut free.

Alot of people have come and returned for ice cream cakes for their kids becuse we are safe and we prove it with all allergen reports.

The store is located in Brick, NJ and called Mr. Creamees's Ice Cream, located at 2060 route 88 east.

If you dont live nearby - please spread the word. Thanks

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By Szj on Sat, 08-23-08, 06:17

You're not alone - we have 2 kids with peanut allergies and must be careful,
I dont know where you are, but we just opened and ice cream store that is truly 100% peanut and nut free.

Alot of people have come and returned for ice cream cakes for their kids becuse we are safe and we prove it with all allergen reports.

The store is located in Brick, NJ and called Mr. Creamees's Ice Cream, located at 2060 route 88 east.

If you dont live nearby - please spread the word. Thanks

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By dkclark on Tue, 10-21-08, 01:04

i think it's impossible to wrap my mind around it.
for me i can't think about how everyday i have the potential to die, it would go nuts.
i just make sure that i keep my eyes open, i probably think about every minute when i'm not in my own apartment and know im safe..
i didn't grow into my allergy until i moved out of the house and went to college (wow what are the odds eh?) and so my parents still have a hard time with it i think. im not sure they even comprehend what i do on a daily basis so i really had to learn everything i know on my own, my parents were learning with me, and in some cases, from me.
College is hard with a peanut allergy, especially classes but for those parents reading this who have kids going to college soon. Make sure they talk to the on campus Housing and on campus Dining services to know what they can and can't eat. Housing should know so that the son/daughter can either get a single room or maybe paired with someone with another food allergy(which is what happend to me and it was great). I would also suggest them talking to their teachers and ask that the classes to be food free or explain the allergy.
as for anxiety, i only get anxious when i really think about it, but if i start thinking about it i can't stop and then i get really freaked out so i try and make it more like unconscious thoughts as opposed to conscious thoughts lol

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