Help! School not following through ,,,

3 replies [Last post]
By ctmartin on Fri, 08-15-08, 14:56

Hi, Everyone,

I guess I should have known that this was going to happen, but I took a leap of faith and got burnt instead. Now, I can't even believe that I am questioning pulling my daughter out of this school ... guess I'm just looking for some support and/or anyone to share similar stories.

I posted a couple months back about a preschool I was looking at for my 2.5 year old. It almost seemed too good to be true, and I guess, as it turned out, it was. Although they didn't have any current PA students, they told me they were willing to make some basic accommodations.

Now, it seems, stuff they promised me from the minor, to the much more serious, has already been violated, and on the FIRST DAY! It seems that what was promised, is not what is happening, and today they did a complete 180 and were like, "I guess you misunderstood what we were willing to do."

They did send home a note asking parents to refrain from sending in peanut products for snack and birthday treats, which was a pleasant surprise to me, and have completely accommodated me on the snack issue, asking for a safe snack list that parents must adhere to.

Unfortunately, lunch is the problem. While my daughter isn't there for lunch, they started lunch early on the first day and, much to my shocked amazement, when I arrived to pick her up on the first day there was a girl eating a big gloopy peanut butter sandwich. Now, they never told me that they were not going to allow PB&J for lunch, but they did say that they would wash down the table and make sure the kids' hands are washed before they leave the table.

Well, lo and behold, as I am standing RIGHT THERE, the little girl gets up from the table (mind you, the one with the huge smear on it that has yet to be wiped either), and goes and plays with the same toys my daughter is playing with.

So, I felt it best to address this issue immediately. I wrote a long e-mail to the teacher/director and what I got in return frankly shocked me. It was no more of the "We can do this ... we can keep your daughter safe," but more of "This is a learning process for everyone. It was only the first day, and the kids are still "learning." That's what she said ... it was almost as if they were putting the burden on the kids (2 and 3 year olds!!)to keep my daughter safe. So what ... while the kids are still "learning" to wash up, my daughter has to risk a reaction?! What happened to the teacher taking responsibility? Now they don't want that responsibility and all of a sudden "can't make any guarantees."

I am SO shocked, as I really thought I had these people sized up well. Other issues are (1)they said they don't do any cooking in the classroom, yet they are making cookies TODAY (i checked out the label, it's pilsbury with only an egg and wheat warning) and made play dough on the first day (2)they promised an aide in the classroom, but now because there are only 8 kids they won't allow it. (3)they assured me that birthdays were ALWAYS celebrated after lunch, but today some kid walked in with some kind of birthday treat, and now they claim that "well, there are *some* kids that don't stay the entire day, so they do celebrate them in the morning! and (4)they maintained a strict no candy policy, but then the teacher proceeded to tell me on the first day that she gives m&ms for treat for a reward for potty training. when i told her not to give m&ms to my daughter, that she didn't have to give her anything, she came back with gummy bears (a nice gesture) which had a peanut warning on the label ... showing me she is not educated AT ALL on allergies, even though she claimed to be.

OK ... sorry this is so long winded. I don't even know what I am asking for here ... maybe this is just cathartic for me ;) I am heartbroken to have to pull my daughter out, but i think it is the right thing to do at this point. Am i crazy for even giving it a second thought and giving them time to "work out the kinks?"

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By cristym on Sat, 08-16-08, 12:24

(((hugs)))

I am so sorry it did not go as well as you had hoped.

At my daughters 3 yo check up, I told our ped K & M were going to start pre school. He put the clip board down looked at me and said, "If you do not feel comfortable with their ability to keep peanuts and tree nuts away from K, if you have doubts, please pull them out of the school. It just is not worth it."

Cristy

__________________

Cristy

DS 9 PA, TNA, Oral Allergy Syndrome
DD 3 PA, TNA
DD 3 no known food allergies reflux and eczema

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By Ron2112 on Fri, 08-22-08, 17:44

You should find another preschool. Where I live (in Northern VA), there are PLENTY of peanut-free preschools who are very diligent in making sure no snacks with peanuts come through the doors.

However, you will find that even the best will not be 100% careful in checking ingredient labels. Get used to sending your own snacks/luch with your child, and work closely with the teachers. By the time your child gets to Kindergarten, he'she will have plenty of their own self-policing habits. But at the preschool level you should expect the teachers to do 98% of the work.

If the current school can't do this, I would bet you will easily find another that can.

Good Luck.

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By ctmartin on Fri, 08-22-08, 22:08

thanks for both of your replies! after much deliberation, we decided to pull her from the school ... the risk was just not worth it. fortunately, i got all of my money back, and in my last few interactions with the director, she made it clear to me (through many ignorant things she said) that she is completely clueless about FA, no matter what she says or thinks. they were clearly not ready to care for a child with LTFA, so good riddance.

unfortunately, we live in FL and things are so backwards here when it comes to PA. i cannot find a single preschool that is peanut free (although many claim to be peanut aware, i just don't trust any of them, now that i have been burned). we are actually considering a move! i'd rather not go through this for the next 3 or 4 years while my daughter is still so young.

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