My DS who just turned 3 has been in preschool for 2 months now, and when I picked him up yesterday afternoon found out that another parent had sent in apples covered with peanut butter for a snack!! I've worked closely with the school (sent out letter explaining allergy and requesting no nut snacks, drafted action plan for them, checking snacks, etc.) and they have been accomodating up until this point. The parent was late with snack this time, so I just told the teacher to give DS one of his backup safe snacks. The school is not nut-free, but the school policy *requests* that no nut snacks be sent in. I should also mention there is another child in DS's class with an allergy just to peanuts. That child's mother never checks snack. First, I was appalled that the peanut butter snack was served. However, my action plan with the school doesn't actually address this issue, since I really didn't think a parent would do this!! (Come to find out after calling her, she thought she was being careful by cutting DS's apples with a seperate knife from the peanut butter apples!! Not sure what to say to this!). The teachers followed the plan as it was written (for cross-contaminated snacks) and DS sat at a seperate table with the other allergic child, they washed everything thoroughly and washed all the children's hands after. Luckily, DS did not have a reaction, but I'm still concerned since he's so young and they're eating in the classroom. So I tried to be collaborative and called the school to say I would bring in backup snacks, and if this happened again, would they please remind the parent that they shouldn't send in peanut snacks, and use the safe backup for the class. The teacher was very defensive, and said "But that would hurt the feelings of the child bringing in the snack, and [DS] was fine yesterday!". I'm appalled and feel so betrayed, I don't know what to do. I'm waiting to hear back from the principal, but I think I need to find a new school. Until then (or if I can't find anywhere that will do a nut-free classroom), I'm going to pick him up early before snack if it happens again. My mistake for not staying to check this time, but that WON'T happen again!! I don't want to penalize DS by taking him out of school when he can participate, but I don't think it's unreasonable to ask them to enforce their OWN POLICY of asking parents to not bring in nut snacks!! Am I crazy? I'm not even asking for a nut-free school, I just want his classroom to be safe for the short time he's there. This is also my first go-around with all this, anyone have any advice on dealing with the anger, frustration and betrayal I'm feeling? I get that people mostly don't "get" food allergies, but I thought I'd done all the prep and education and these people were understanding it. I can't believe they would risk 2 children in a class of 10 having a life-threatening reaction just because they're afraid the child bringing in the snack will feel sad? What sense does that make? Please help!!!