Does Your PA Child\'s Other Parent Have the Same Comfort Zone As You Do?

Answering your field trip questions here.... I don't really know, which is even scarier. When the kids go to see their Dad they are in Calgary and I am not there. I honestly don't trust him with anything medical - this is the man who dropped my daughter off at the hospital to stay with me and my son who was admitted for asthma so he could go to the gym!

Anyway, I focus on educating the kids and they are very cautious. My daughter will not eat anything she is not absolutely positive is safe. And I do think their father's girlfriend understands and is cautious.

Essentially I am so far away from my ex-husband that it has little impact - I can manage things in my own way, and I am really glad for that. I worry desperately when they are away and actually send my daughter with her own cell phone so she can call me at any time. I made that mistake the first time they went away - I asked her why she didn't call and it was because she had to ask her Dad to use the phone and felt uncomfortable. Now I got a Fido pay as you go phone, buy her some minutes before she goes away and can call her at any time and she can call me. The bonus is it was an Ottawa number so it was not long distance for me to call, we just used up her minutes faster.

Ok I have gone way off topic here, but I don't even know what my ex-husband's comfort zone is and I rely on my daughter's very tight comfort zone keeping them safe.

take care

deb

Dh and I have the exact same comfort zone. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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Tina
Trevor age 2 -PA
Harmony age 1 -KNA
Baby #3 due June 24, 2004

DH did not have the same comfort zone until he brought home cookies that caused a reaction. I thought he was going to do himself harm while DS and I were in the ER. He was in such a state and so guilty, now his comfort zone is about equal to ours but he still makes mistakes.
peg

My inlaws also live with us and we are all in the same 'comfort zone'. I can't imagine how much more stressful it would be if we all weren't.

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Cher ~
Dougie 12/14/01

We have the same comfort zone but I am the one more likely to speak up about situations involving peanuts.

Basically, we are in the same comfort zone, but as with the previous poster, I am the one to speak up to other regarding peanuts/nuts.

Yep. In fact, we rarely have conflict over any parenting issue because we have nearly identical philosophy/approach.

Absolutely the same Cindy. My DD knows that if were not the same I may kick him in the butt and boot him. I am one of the worst moms in the world when it comes to over protection and he knows that i mean business. When Chris was little he didn't get it because it was such a knew thing to deal with. I just educated him as well as I could and he realized what the allergy was and how we needed to be strict with it.
I also think that it was so hard in the beginning because he had never seen an allergy attack,because he was at work or somewhere when he had the first 2. He got to walk into the hospital after it was all under control.
I hate to say this but seeing an actual attack WOKE him up in a hurry.
So yes Cindy we do agree on the same comfort zone.
Take care claire

Cindy, my DH and I are new to this, and I would definately say his comfort zone is much more laxed then mine. He and I are on complete different ends of this allergy right now, he just thinks I am way over protective and am taking this way to far and I don't think he understands that this really is a life or death situation for our DD.I am hoping to help educate him with this site and books and hopefully soon he will come around. For now, when leaving her with DH I don't go far and only go out when I have to.

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Alicia, mom to:
Edward-20 years-non PA
Cody-8 years-non PA
Shaylyn-4 years-PA/TNA,Asthma

Syd requests, I verify, DH fetches. DH has no comfort zone unless it's something currently in our fridge or cupboard.

Because I have the time during the day to contact various companies and manufacturers to determine if something is manufactured to what I feel as being "peanut [b]and treenut"[/b] free, it makes life easy for DH to simply open the fridge/cupboard and not have to second guess whether what's inside is safe or not.

Syd is constantly asking for me to contact manufacturers on new products she has seen at school as she's recently outgrown quite a few foods that were previously food allergies for her, so she's our product requisition person, I'm the product-safety verification person, and all DH has to do is be product "gopher" - go for it in the fridge/cupboard.

[This message has been edited by Syd's Mom (edited February 03, 2004).]

Quote:[b], so she's our product requisition person, I'm the product-safety verification person, and all DH has to do is be product "gopher" - go for it in the fridge/cupboard.

[This message has been edited by Syd's Mom (edited February 03, 2004).][/b]

Syd's Mom, your response had me howling!

Does DH have the same comfort zone as I do? No. 'Nuff said.

Amy

I would definitely say my DH comfort zone is laxed. I worry about everything as it is. It is not that he doesn't care he just maybe is not as deligent about carry the epi-pen everywhere we go like I am. He is cautious about what he eats but is reluctant to say anything to anyone else in fear of sounding rude. I sometimes think that a bad reaction may shock him into be more cautious but unfortunately do not want to use our son as a guinea pig in the process. I love my husband very much and he is just a work in progress I guess. I pray someday he will get it.........

Best wishes [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

We agree on the basics, 'no may contains' and no PB in the house.

But other than that, my DH is more strict and 'double check's everything that I do. I made cauliflower tonight w/spicy mayo and he asked 'is it safe'. Again, the other night I made burgers and put Emeril sprinkling on it 'did you call?' he asked.

I HATE being 2nd guessed. I'm a part-time SAHM mom so I'm with her a lot more than he is. I do all the on line reading, calling companies and keeping up on it.

Anyone else have this issue?

And now we have a new issue. Our dd was >100 on Cap RAST for peanuts so we are very diligent about that. But now we've found out that she tested '2s' for most tree nuts. But she's eaten 'may contain' tree nuts occasionally over the last 2 years. I know some may disagree w/me on the boards here, but I feel that our comfort zone doesn't have to be as tight w/tree nuts. He doesn't agree. This will be a work in progress... And here's an interesting related thread -

[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum3/HTML/000266.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum3/HTML/000266.html[/url]