Day Care Update

Hi Christine - I am glad that you talked to the director last night. (You are very brave!) I am a little comfused why she is leaving this decision up to the teacher...isn't SHE the director? And making the "big bucks" as the saying goes? I am wondering if she understands the liability issue involved here? I am not a lawyer, although I work with law enforcement and the courts almost everyday, but it seems to me that by accepting your money each week that make them responsible for keeping your child safe. To me this would include taking the necessary steps to keep peanuts out of the classroom.

It is so much easier for me to be strong concerning your situation more than my own. My husband and I tossed and turned last night. I had to have the tv on all night because everytime I turn it off my head would start spinning and all I could think about was what happen. Spencer did well the whole night except at midnight.

Has anyone else had problems with excessive crying after exposure. At this point Spencer looks fine from the outside but has been crying endlessly, which is not normal. We have another appointment today at 1:00pm. I have never been so excited to see a doctor in all my life as the last two days!

Sorry got off the subject. Please let me know what the director comes up with. My thoughts are with you!

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Kelly M
Another Mom in Michigan

Kelly,
Initially, I had the same reaction as you--why is she leaving this up to the teacher? But there are two things going on here:

1) The director is "forcing" the teacher to make him safe--either by removing peanuts from the classroom or by cleaning up like crazy after the peanuts are served. Either of these situations is perfectly fine as far as the U.S. legal system is concerned. Personally, I think if they take the cleaning mode, they will eventually slack off on that so I am hoping for the ban.
2) The director has always tried to allow the teachers a large amount of autonomy in their classrooms which is the big reason that the teachers stay so long. This particular teacher has been with the center almost 20 years and travels quite a bit with the owners to establish/train other daycare centers they own in other states. I think the director is a bit intimidated about telling her what to do (I think this teacher is more of the "boss" than anyone there). So there are all kinds of things at play here.

Does anyone else worry, in regard to daycare, that if you cause too much "trouble" that the staff may decide to drop your child? I'm not sure if they can legally do this. I know the public schools cannot; however, I'm not sure about private day care or private schools. Last year my daughter was enrolled in a very small Catholic elementary school. Right in the handbook it says "We cannot accommodate children with special needs." When I asked the principal what this meant, she said that the school was not equipped to handle any other than the "average child." They could not handle learning disabled, gifted, handicapped children, etc. I often wondered if this could be stretched into food-allergic children. I guess my big fear is that one day, after complaining to the director of daycare, she will just tell me that they feel they can't handle his problem and he would be better off to go somewhere else. Could this happen?
Christine

We have a policy set up with our day care provider in which my son (also avoiding egg whites as he may be allergic) is only given the center provided snack if it is fruit. This allows him to have healthy snacks and the clear distinction helps takes the question about the safety of food out of the teachers hand's. We also have additional storage space specifically for my son's snacks.

Steve,
That is a pretty good idea. I do get a little concerned about trying to give the center too many "lists"--then they just get confused but "fruit only" keeps it simple. How do you feel about raw vegetables and dips? Do you allow that? Also, what type of snacks do you send in for your child? Most convenience foods seem so "junky". The center regularly carries Saltines and graham crackers so I need not bring that. I'd appreciate any ideas.
Christine

Hi Christine,

When my son attended daycare, we used to pack him the individual fruit cocktail cups; yogurt (they had the countertop refrigerators in the rooms); plain rice krispie treats; gold fish crackers; pretzel logs and apple slices. This was the basic of his snacks. We also sent in his own juice boxes.

Hope this helps some.

Christine,
Even though my son's class was "peanut free" and they provided the snacks, I still chose to send in a bag of all different snacks for him to choose from. It made me feel safer. If a certain cookie or cracker changes ingredients will they know? Even with fruit - did they cut it with the same knife that spread the Peanut butter the day before? I'd rather send in "junky" food and be safe. I just make sure at home we have the fruit and veggies and not too much sweets. Instead of feeling different he feels special, because he picks his own treat each day.

Christine,

Veggies are also fine. My son is strictly avoiding egg whites (isn't your's also). Therefore, I would avoid the dip.

He could eat many of the snacks but, the KISS (keep it simple stupid) principle certainly helps with the confusion.

In the snack box we keep:
raisins - small boxes
fruit cups
fruit bars
apple sauce - small packaged cups
gold fish
Pringles (regular)
pretzels
crackers

Our provider will then select select something from the box (assuming I haven't brought something with the rest of his lunch). The variety allows them to select something similiar to what the other children are eating.

Lidia makes a good point regarding the knife. Most of the fruit is fruit cocktail, bananas, apple sauce. Anything cut up is done with a disposable plastic knife.

[This message has been edited by SteveW (edited June 16, 1999).]

Hi..

I have two comments. One is that I would be less concerned about my child being kicked out (if they don't want her, I certaintly wouldn't want her there!). What would worry me is if the teacher became resentful or agitated at the extra work my child required of her. Since Brady's diagnosis, I have found lots of people who do not "get" the seriousness of the allergy and who think I am being an overprotective mom.
Second, I wanted to comment on the question posed about weepiness after an exposure. After Brady's exposure..she cried for two days..about everything!! She is not a cryer, so this was very disturbing to us. It only lasted two days, but I definatley attribute it to the peanut reaction. Tammy

Soon many children in daycare centers will switch age groups (i.e. two's going to three's). Many will have a day of in-service meetings for their teachers. You may want to consider giving a 1/2 hour presentation on food allergies to the entire staff. Check with the director to see if you can get on the agenda.