B\'day parties & food/candy in classrooms..do you allow your child to be there?

Renee, yes you posted in the correct place. Please don't feel you need to search all day long and be paranoid about where you post questions. The reason it is brought up, is to keep food related questions in the food threads, etc. But by no means should you worry that there will be an issue if you post in the wrong forum. We are here to help each other no matter where you post.

Personally, my son does go to parties where he can't eat the cake, and we bring his own. In school, they don't allow any homemade food, or may contains. I really didn't have a problem with may contains because I didn't feel they were a threat to him.

But, heres the kicker. Want to know where he had what we believe was his first contact reaction? At his own birthday party with a cake I made safe for him. Unfortunately it was at a bowling alley that sells peanut containing candy bars.

But if your son reacts to touch, you may want to ask them to eliminate them from his room. Its really dependent upon your comfort level. Do you have a 504?

I kept the comments about the school to a minimum because that has been a whole other issue and another post..lol School is over in four days..yippeee!! After one year, we have finally completed his IEP. After going through so many disappointments and absences due to exposures.. during the last meeting I asked about epi-pen problems, 504 etc.. and was not greeted with open arms.

Since my posts were answered in the school forum, I have went directly to the supers office who was handling the IEP and they are eager to proceed with a 504. They are going to call me next week to come in..that is if I can gather all the info in an organized fashion by Tuesday. This site has so much info as well as other links, I will be doing this all weekend. It seems carrying or keeping the Epi near him is going to be my biggest challenge. It seems that telling them that I may homeschool if he cannot be kept safe made them kick things into gear. Go figure!!

DS's bday is coming in a few weeks, I hope all goes well. Going to Chucky Cheese. Now gotta figure out what kinda cake ..lol

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Renee

My dd is almost 3 so I'm in a different position right now. However, we do currently allow my dd to be around 'may contains' at other people' houses, just not eat them herself. She is very sensitive to contact exposure also.

We do not allow her to be in close range with [b] definite [/b] contains though. And if she is by accident, we ask others to wash hands along with herself.

If I was in your position, I would probably send safe treat(s) for my child to eat while the others had the store bought (cup)cakes. I want my dd to be able to be a part of festivities but she also will have to learn how to do it safely.

Sounds like a rough year, and not a very understanding teacher! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]

[This message has been edited by Driving Me Nutty (edited May 28, 2004).]

MQriley2, as momma2boys already told you, I wouldn't worry so much about where you place your question. I actually personally feel that the Living with PA part of the board is the most under-used with a lot of stuff being placed under Main Discussion that *could* be placed here, but who am I?

I do think, as momma2boys said, it had more to do with manufacturers and stuff and I guess a feeling last week that food stuff should be going under Manufacturers. I'm not sure though.

Anyway.

My son is 8.

When he was younger, I would go to birthday parties with him and the people that had the party always made sure that the cake was "safe" for my guy to consume. I don't even think I've run into a problem with unsafe loot bag candy when he's attended a birthday party.

However, I do believe his lack of birthday party invitations period is due to his PA. I honestly do. He is such a social, outgoing guy (and wee guy before, though 8 is still wee), that I do think people are afraid.

As he's gotten older, we have let him go to birthday parties without us, but what we do is go and show the parent how to use the Epi-pen. Same as the play-date he is on with his sister to-day.

I don't believe in "may contains" in the classroom, but I have really had to loosen up on that for my own sanity. I do know that vic, in her 504 Plan, posted under Schools somewhere, she does not allow "may contains" into her child's "peanut free" classroom. Her child is the same age as my son.

We're in Canada so we don't have a 504 Plan and my writtens school plan was nixed for this school year by the principal, but I would prefer if "may contains" weren't around my son. I still believe there is a 1 in 5 possibility of them being a danger to him (and not simply if he ingests it).

If I were you, I'd get a 504 Plan together and see how it goes with your child's school. There are some terrific ones posted here on PA.com and I'm sure you'll get a lot of help.

My son has always had a "peanut free" classroom. How successful it is seems to be becoming more problematic, surprisingly, as he gets older (and I also believe more *sensitive*).

Hope this helps. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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I do not have to deal with school issues yet....thank goodness...because I'm no where near ready emotionally. lol

Anyways...as to letting me dd go to b-day party's where there are "may contains" or unsafe foods....No, we do not allow this. With or without us present.

We found out the hard way that our dd (22mo) is severely contact reactive. The first and only time we decided that we'd just keep her away from the stuff and near us ....it failed. Before I could get "no, don't touch" out of my mouth the lady had touched her ear. The outcome was not pleasant.

Unfortunately this has left us/her out of alot of events/occasions in the 7months my dd has had her allergy reaction.

I do however think it's a personal decision on what you feel safe with.

Wish you the best~Cindy

Alt to Main - just curious - how many invites has Jesse had this year? DS is 9 and has had 2 this year. And he knows its only 2 compared to DD's 10 - 12 or more. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]

He is very aware of her many invites.

This weekend was his 2nd invite this year, but he wasn't feeling well, and opted out, which is really unusual for him. I felt bad for him.

My dd is 4 and we have had at least 7 or 8 invites this year. There is always a cake she cannot have since she is also egg allergic and they are nearly always purchased cakes. Most moms have approached me in some way about the candy/food/cake issue and I try to get a cross just to have no nuts at all and I can go through her stuff from there. I, or my dh, always go with her. I will always have a candy or two in my pocket that she can have, in the event nothing at the party is one of our approved items. I always bring her own cupcake. She has her own cupcakes in the freezer at preschool. I generally approve any candy for use in class, along with another parent of a MFA child. becca

When my son was younger I would only let him go to a birthday party if I could go too. He has other food allergies so we would, and still do, bring his own cake, etc. He knows not to eat anything unless he brought it. I have always asked parents to please not serve peanut/nut foods at the party, and no one ever has (the treat bag is often another story, but we search that and basically toss out all of the candy in there) had a problem with my peanut/nut free request or my staying at the party. When he was 7 or 8 I started letting him go to parties without me ONLY if I was totally comfortable with the parents, if they'd had him over their house, and if they were comfortable being left "in charge" of the epi. He recently was invited to a birthday party at 6 Flags, and we wouldn't let him go alone so my husband went (this was the day after a man died after falling out of a roller coaster so you can imagine my comfort level with the whole trip.)

Good luck. I've found that depending on his age, what the party consists of, and who is hosting that there are lots of variables to consider each and every time.

mae, Jesse has had one birthday party invite this year. It was at the beginning of the school year (it was the time his Father self-injected himself with the Epi-pen trying to demo it [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] )

This year, I'm not sure if PA is playing a factor in their lack of invitations. My daughter has had NONE. I think it may be this year that they're new to the school (again [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] ).

Last year, I remember Jesse having one and Ember having one. And again, it may have been because at that school they were new.

I do know that I did post about it when Jesse was younger and they're weren't always the new kids in the school.

Then, I did have a lot of input from other members that made me feel better about his lack of invitations. I raised a separate thread re that. Under the Positive Experiences with non-PA Parents/People, I've posted some wonderful information about people that truly went the extra mile to include Jess in their child's birthday party.

I think for me, it's something that I really can't answer conclusively now until we stay in one house and one school for more than one school year. But I do know, as I said, in the past, I really do believe PA played a part in his not being invited.

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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